Hi Bloggers,
This post is my first on BlogSpot. With this I start my blogging routine in life. I decided to pick on the topic of marraige because my cousin Aarthy was recently discussing love on her blog and I decided this would be a good place to start on a relative topic and a similar note.
I recently stumbled upon some weird occurrences in life. Even though this is not the first time it happened this time it got a bit far serious.
People have these prefixed notions on things, one of the funny ones being a Physically Disabled person like myself SHOULD marry another Physically Disabled person and “Vaazhkkai Kuduththufy” to the other unfortunate person. A relative of mine had approached my parents and talked about this to my parents. My parents fearing my reaction wanted them to talk to me directly since it was sensitive enough for them too.
How rude they even judge marraige as “vaazhkkai” (life) for a woman, the male doministic attitude of having a woman as a sex and child birth machine still hasn’t changed in this contry.
Now the funny fact is this. I was convinced by this relative of mine that the girl was quite wealthy and kind at heart and she would be greatly benefited to be with a person like me. Whilst i appreciate her concerns for me i wonder what makes people get into these calculations and then be dissappointed when their math goes wrong.
Being the quintessential me i said NO instantly and was looked upon as if “Neeye Kalyaanam Pannikkalenna Vera Yaaru Kalyaanam Pannippaaa…”
Well not being really rude here firstly i have no bloody idea of getting married now. Secondly i dont believe in arranged marraiges, i have a swear word for them but dont wanna use it here. Thirdly i find it funny how much say third parties have in india with regards to a person’s love life. Be it relatives, parents, friends and in some rare outrageous instances neighbours !
Anyways coming back to my part of the fun ride, i often end up in a quarrell with people when they claim i should “vaazhkkai kuduththufy” for a physically or mentally challenged woman. Agreeing that this is the best thing any human being can do, the ultimate sacrifice but why me ?
Its quite unfortunate that no one even cares to look at my side of things and readily judge me to be a good samaritain in thier own context and expect me to love upto thier assumptions.
I have been living this way with cerebral palsy since birth. I have been fortunately quite an intelligent kid and donned the geek hood as a teenager and happily where i wanna be progressing to my destiny. Now having said this living ME is not easy because you always have a permenant reminder of IMPERFECTION in you. Every step you take and fall is a question thrown at you capabilities that burns down to the physical YOU.
My take is whatever my cousins and friends, the ones who REALLY love me say imperfection is a part of me and that is no deniable fact. I don’t want to dwell with another example of imperfection.
Everywhere i go i find meat heads complimenting me, “I’m inspired by your talent even though you are handicapped”, i mean what the **** there are so many things noticable about me but all u can see is that im lame, duh !
So coming back to the “vazhkkai kuduththufication” matter… have these people who judge whom i should marry ever think about my wife and me when we are 50 years old??? Both of us would need help, both of us would need nursing and both of us will be really in a more unfortunate position from the health point of view. How can you even not think of this fact and go ahead and blantantly argue about my indifferent attitude.
Its unfortunate that even after 59 odd years of independence we act as if we are in the 1700′s. I seriously dont understand how this attitude comes to our indian folks and where it comes from.
Anyways this is my 2 cents on a silly issue that i found happening to me a couple of months back, wanted to crib about this somewhere long time back and finally i found this place.
Thats all for now folks, will come back for more cribbings.
Luv,
Dil…