The Order of the Crutch

Religion has fucking awesome reasons, come to think of it the Story of Adam and Eve in the terms of a civilized society is practically “Two Nudists taking advice from a Snake” according to some guy who is a sensible atheist like me.

Noah heard from god that he was gonna destroy the bloody world and built a big ass mother fucker ship and loaded all animal kinds on it and floated his way to survival so that he can fart his smart ass around praising the mercy of god who decided to kill all of his own kind in the the first place.

I mean was Noah gay? What the fuck with Noah hump if all of human was dead and he alone was the sole survivor? Perhaps he loved animal sex? Never mind! Figure this out, god is supposed to be the fucking mercy whore. If he so damn kind why the fucking nuts does that bitch have to kill us all in the first place with a flood?

Okay, well may sound like im bashing Christianity here, hell i’m and Hinduism is no better hoe to get laid to either. Kalki Avatharam states its the end of the freaking world and we are gonna be massacred by the eternal entity, god! Oh don’t even get me started on Islam cuz those terror mongering bastards first want to wage Jihad on all non muslims and kill them all first before they get themselves killed in the process. I mean why the fuck are these religious people so fanatically crazy of dying and killing? These people need to get a fucking life cuz they are so fucking dead! Dead as a freaking door nail!

Okay back to noah the great now. How can you possibly shit me into believing that this embarrassing story of getting all species of living on earth on to a boat, no matter how damn big it is. I mean did the dude get one male and one female of all species and family together on one boat?

If so there are some interesting questions here…

1. For example some animals eat other animals, say like the lion. How did noah protect every one from becoming dinner, lunch or breakfast?
2. Each animal eats its own thing, goat eats grass, tigers eat goats. Where did all the food come from? How as it stored without getting decayed and contaminated?
3. There musta been loads of poop and pee these animals did. How cleaned up the muck? Oh well they musta thrown it on the sea, probably thats why its salty today! damn!!!
4. How did Noah put back all the animals in place, like the marsupials in australia and whatever wherever came from back to their right place. Are we sure he did not put any snow tigers in african desert cuz i see some people calling themselves politicians and are all around the place and act nothing different than hyena’s. Damn it must be noah’s fuck up!
5. Who made the freaking call? I mean how did the animals get there? How did noah catch these animals and bring them to the arc without hurting them or causing any inconvenience to them? Are we sure he did not violate any SPCA regulations while handling these animals? Oh well i think thats a dumb question considering there was no SPCA back then. I guess that leaves noah the trouble of handling animals carefully and do whatever he wants.

On the whole this story is one big muck up in the millions of disastrous and pathetic lies religious books have bullshitted around for years.

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