Dilip Muralidaran

Happy Birthday Kadalai
Originally uploaded by Dilip Muralidaran

Picture Shot at a Surprise birthday party we organized for this friend (read useless talkative fellow) at the Café Coffee Day in the Ascendas IT Park.

Kadalai, the Tamil word stands for “Ground Nut”. Gentlemen listen very carefully as Im about to equip you with some survival skills. Chennai dudes pardon the repetition, others you have to realize that your entire LIFE depends on what you are about to read below. I need your 101% on the text below. Turn off that mobile phone now! (Unless you are texting a girl)

Back here in Chennai, when you pointlessly talk to a chick with the intention of making something out of nothing in your hopeless desperation we call it “putting ground nut” or “Kadalai Podaradhu”. Its the accepted local slang for terribly insulting terminologies like flirting which is taboo in our pseudo culture.

The terminology comes from the late 80′s and early 90′s times when pizza was an unknown entity and coffee pubs were in mars. Women never wore sports bras on the road and men did not sport ear rings and the sky was blue and the whole world was a lot more innocent according to our old folks here, apparently. At that time the only available thing considering the amount of pocket money parents used to give their kids (which is not even enough to buy toilet paper) all you could buy was ground nuts. 2 rupees will get you so much groundnuts you could sit in the loo for days and not go to college.

So what do you do? Take any girl you can find, buy truck loads of ground nuts, find an isolated place, say for example under a tree ridden with poisonous bee’s or say at 2 in the afternoon at the beach sand (115 degree Fahrenheit only in Chennai) where even buffaloes dont tread into or say a useless box office flop that even the director dont watch twice and talk, talk, talk all that you want till your groundnuts bag is depleted.

This process is ISO 9001-2000 certified even before this certification existed and there is a theory that the Six Sigma training was conceived from such time tested processes. If you are not living in tamilnadu where women are already aware of this shit and nowadays expect you to take them to beach resorts and disco’s you can successfully deploy this methodology and move yourself from the lonely world of being single to a world of blossoms. As a Chennai’te I stand by this theory and take full responsibility for any consequences arising out of this. I mean, we folks KNOW that this WORKS!

Canon EOS 400D with the Sigma 24-70 MM F/2.8. Aperture Priority, F/4 at 1/60th of a Second.

Happy Birthday Kadalai
Originally uploaded by Dilip Muralidaran

Picture Shot at a Surprise birthday party we organized for this friend (read useless talkative fellow) at the Café Coffee Day in the Ascendas IT Park.

Kadalai, the Tamil word stands for “Ground Nut”. Gentlemen listen very carefully as Im about to equip you with some survival skills. Chennai dudes pardon the repetition, others you have to realize that your entire LIFE depends on what you are about to read below. I need your 101% on the text below. Turn off that mobile phone now! (Unless you are texting a girl)

Back here in Chennai, when you pointlessly talk to a chick with the intention of making something out of nothing in your hopeless desperation we call it “putting ground nut” or “Kadalai Podaradhu”. Its the accepted local slang for terribly insulting terminologies like flirting which is taboo in our pseudo culture.

The terminology comes from the late 80′s and early 90′s times when pizza was an unknown entity and coffee pubs were in mars. Women never wore sports bras on the road and men did not sport ear rings and the sky was blue and the whole world was a lot more innocent according to our old folks here, apparently. At that time the only available thing considering the amount of pocket money parents used to give their kids (which is not even enough to buy toilet paper) all you could buy was ground nuts. 2 rupees will get you so much groundnuts you could sit in the loo for days and not go to college.

So what do you do? Take any girl you can find, buy truck loads of ground nuts, find an isolated place, say for example under a tree ridden with poisonous bee’s or say at 2 in the afternoon at the beach sand (115 degree Fahrenheit only in Chennai) where even buffaloes dont tread into or say a useless box office flop that even the director dont watch twice and talk, talk, talk all that you want till your groundnuts bag is depleted.

This process is ISO 9001-2000 certified even before this certification existed and there is a theory that the Six Sigma training was conceived from such time tested processes. If you are not living in tamilnadu where women are already aware of this shit and nowadays expect you to take them to beach resorts and disco’s you can successfully deploy this methodology and move yourself from the lonely world of being single to a world of blossoms. As a Chennai’te I stand by this theory and take full responsibility for any consequences arising out of this. I mean, we folks KNOW that this WORKS!

Canon EOS 400D with the Sigma 24-70 MM F/2.8. Aperture Priority, F/4 at 1/60th of a Second.

She is a constant reminder that you are stupid. Frankly you appear so stupid in front of what she has managed to achieve in life. For starters i don’t know of anybody who scored 19 gold medals in pharmacology or had honored by our wonderful ex president APJ Abdul Kalam or the govt. of India funding someone to go to France to study genecology.

However thats just the tip of the iceberg, there is antartica out there if you need to explore the complete personality in her. I for sure wouldn’t be prepared to do that for the primal fear of looking so small.

We’ve all had people in our lives that our parents/siblings point to as an example when we act the fool. As i know it literally everybody in every family who know of her point to her as an example. She is one example you cannot refuse and give stupid excuses to get away with.

Everytime i’m stuck and i find myself incapable of doing something thats seemingly so impossible a task, i tell myself 3 things.

1. Padmaja is my Cousin
2. Padmaja did it, the very same blood runs through my veins and i should be capable of it.
3. If point#2 is true then i should find this a piece of cake compared to what she knows and does.

Period, problem resolved.

My dear cousin padmaja, shot on the day of her flower ceremony. We are all eagerly waiting for the little one. For all that we know instead of crying, the first thing junior padmaja may do is question the doctor about some random calcuus problem from a quantum physics theory.

Canon EOS 400D with the Canon EF 50MM F/1.8 II. Aperture Priority, F/4 at 1/200th of a Second. Black background added on Adobe Photoshop CS3.

She is a constant reminder that you are stupid. Frankly you appear so stupid in front of what she has managed to achieve in life. For starters i don’t know of anybody who scored 19 gold medals in pharmacology or had honored by our wonderful ex president APJ Abdul Kalam or the govt. of India funding someone to go to France to study genecology.

However thats just the tip of the iceberg, there is antartica out there if you need to explore the complete personality in her. I for sure wouldn’t be prepared to do that for the primal fear of looking so small.

We’ve all had people in our lives that our parents/siblings point to as an example when we act the fool. As i know it literally everybody in every family who know of her point to her as an example. She is one example you cannot refuse and give stupid excuses to get away with.

Everytime i’m stuck and i find myself incapable of doing something thats seemingly so impossible a task, i tell myself 3 things.

1. Padmaja is my Cousin
2. Padmaja did it, the very same blood runs through my veins and i should be capable of it.
3. If point#2 is true then i should find this a piece of cake compared to what she knows and does.

Period, problem resolved.

My dear cousin padmaja, shot on the day of her flower ceremony. We are all eagerly waiting for the little one. For all that we know instead of crying, the first thing junior padmaja may do is question the doctor about some random calcuus problem from a quantum physics theory.

Canon EOS 400D with the Canon EF 50MM F/1.8 II. Aperture Priority, F/4 at 1/200th of a Second. Black background added on Adobe Photoshop CS3.

As in many other traditions and various other cultures there are traditions of celebrations during pregnancy it’s of my humble belief that Hinduism shares the mother loads, well that would be an understatement and its no exaggeration. I don’t know much about Hindu tradition in other communities but being born in a Brahmin family (although never lived as one or want to either) the function of Valakaappu is celebrated on the 7^th or 8^th month of pregnancy.

Valayal is the Tamil word for Bangles, Kaappu is a tamil word signifying protection, well being, blessing etc., Hence the term Valakaappu (Valayal + Kaappu) or in simple terms the bangle wearing ceremony. My cousin is expecting a child soon, we celebrated her Valakaappu last weekend.

In the current day scenario, events like these are more so a opportunity for a family get together. An excuse to stop you lame ass from working during the weekends too and go see family/friends and have something called “personal life” that exists right outside of a hell called “work”. Last weekend I was happy not working. J

What you see here just a simple shot of the set of bangles that were kept for the ladies in the house to make my cousin wear them. I will post more shots of this later and try and explain the process in detail, although I’m not an expert on it. Corrections/criticism welcome by all means.

As in many other traditions and various other cultures there are traditions of celebrations during pregnancy it’s of my humble belief that Hinduism shares the mother loads, well that would be an understatement and its no exaggeration. I don’t know much about Hindu tradition in other communities but being born in a Brahmin family (although never lived as one or want to either) the function of Valakaappu is celebrated on the 7^th or 8^th month of pregnancy.

Valayal is the Tamil word for Bangles, Kaappu is a tamil word signifying protection, well being, blessing etc., Hence the term Valakaappu (Valayal + Kaappu) or in simple terms the bangle wearing ceremony. My cousin is expecting a child soon, we celebrated her Valakaappu last weekend.

In the current day scenario, events like these are more so a opportunity for a family get together. An excuse to stop you lame ass from working during the weekends too and go see family/friends and have something called “personal life” that exists right outside of a hell called “work”. Last weekend I was happy not working. J

What you see here just a simple shot of the set of bangles that were kept for the ladies in the house to make my cousin wear them. I will post more shots of this later and try and explain the process in detail, although I’m not an expert on it. Corrections/criticism welcome by all means.

I found this awesome joke today, i thought i would share it with you all and give you the pleasure of a good laugh.

A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. “Tim, you’re first,” she said. “What does your mother do all day?”

Tim stood up and proudly said, “She’s a doctor.”

“That’s wonderful. How about you, Amie?” Amie shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, “My father is a mailman.”

“Thank you, Amie,” said the teacher. “What about your father, Billy?”

Billy proudly stood up and announced, “My daddy plays piano in a whorehouse.”

The teacher was aghast and promptly changed the subject to geography. Later that day she went to Billy’s house and rang the bell. Billy”s father answered the door. The teacher explained what his son had said and demanded an explanation.

Billy”s father said, “I’m actually an attorney, but how can I explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old?”

I found this awesome joke today, i thought i would share it with you all and give you the pleasure of a good laugh.

A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. “Tim, you’re first,” she said. “What does your mother do all day?”

Tim stood up and proudly said, “She’s a doctor.”

“That’s wonderful. How about you, Amie?” Amie shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, “My father is a mailman.”

“Thank you, Amie,” said the teacher. “What about your father, Billy?”

Billy proudly stood up and announced, “My daddy plays piano in a whorehouse.”

The teacher was aghast and promptly changed the subject to geography. Later that day she went to Billy’s house and rang the bell. Billy”s father answered the door. The teacher explained what his son had said and demanded an explanation.

Billy”s father said, “I’m actually an attorney, but how can I explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old?”