Happy Birthday Kadalai

Happy Birthday Kadalai
Originally uploaded by Dilip Muralidaran

Picture Shot at a Surprise birthday party we organized for this friend (read useless talkative fellow) at the Café Coffee Day in the Ascendas IT Park.

Kadalai, the Tamil word stands for “Ground Nut”. Gentlemen listen very carefully as Im about to equip you with some survival skills. Chennai dudes pardon the repetition, others you have to realize that your entire LIFE depends on what you are about to read below. I need your 101% on the text below. Turn off that mobile phone now! (Unless you are texting a girl)

Back here in Chennai, when you pointlessly talk to a chick with the intention of making something out of nothing in your hopeless desperation we call it “putting ground nut” or “Kadalai Podaradhu”. Its the accepted local slang for terribly insulting terminologies like flirting which is taboo in our pseudo culture.

The terminology comes from the late 80′s and early 90′s times when pizza was an unknown entity and coffee pubs were in mars. Women never wore sports bras on the road and men did not sport ear rings and the sky was blue and the whole world was a lot more innocent according to our old folks here, apparently. At that time the only available thing considering the amount of pocket money parents used to give their kids (which is not even enough to buy toilet paper) all you could buy was ground nuts. 2 rupees will get you so much groundnuts you could sit in the loo for days and not go to college.

So what do you do? Take any girl you can find, buy truck loads of ground nuts, find an isolated place, say for example under a tree ridden with poisonous bee’s or say at 2 in the afternoon at the beach sand (115 degree Fahrenheit only in Chennai) where even buffaloes dont tread into or say a useless box office flop that even the director dont watch twice and talk, talk, talk all that you want till your groundnuts bag is depleted.

This process is ISO 9001-2000 certified even before this certification existed and there is a theory that the Six Sigma training was conceived from such time tested processes. If you are not living in tamilnadu where women are already aware of this shit and nowadays expect you to take them to beach resorts and disco’s you can successfully deploy this methodology and move yourself from the lonely world of being single to a world of blossoms. As a Chennai’te I stand by this theory and take full responsibility for any consequences arising out of this. I mean, we folks KNOW that this WORKS!

Canon EOS 400D with the Sigma 24-70 MM F/2.8. Aperture Priority, F/4 at 1/60th of a Second.