GTA 6 – Dravida Edition

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Posted on 13th January 2009 by Dilip Muralidaran in funny |opinion

Yuvipanda and Surajram started this entire stuff. Random bitching about other people bitching on boybands and girlbands. Finally it landed in GTA via michael jackson. I’m just gonna add to more ideas from this perspective.

We’ve all played Grand Theft Auto and many of us know how famous the GTA 4 version of the game is. Well, what if the next version of GTA was decided to have its roots in tamil nadu? What would game play be like? How would missions compare to the ones in the previous versions where you are the bad guy and do lots of stuff. Lets try and visualize some of them…

Mission #1: Rush through mount road traffic and beat the crowd and get a first day, first show ticket for Rajini padam release in Sri Brindha theatre, madhavaram

Mission #2: Gather 20000 people for a katchi meeting for least amount of money and biriyaani packets and ensure all of them clap every 2 minutes.

Mission #3: Stick aalum katchi posters in ethir katchi area sevuru without getting caught by ethir katchi area pasanga. (maatina dunguvaaru aruthuruvaanga :P )

Mission #4: Drive a two wheeler without helmet after 25th of a month in mount road under the condition that you don’t get caught by mama under gemini fly-over or near the SBI, thousand lights branch.

Mission #5: Spend 30 crore rupees in 30 days. You can buy assets, accumulate wealth but only condition is you should not take auto for oor suththifying chennai (this one is tough nuts to crack!)

Mission #6: Drive thanni lorry from Jamalia to padi under the condition you wash the roads by leaking water all along, yet have enough left water so that bubleec does not find out & you dont kill people on the way by running them over.

Mission #7: Skillfully tailgate a speeding ambulance thereby skipping signals and breaking traffic rules at peak hour traffic in the city. Avoid getting crushed by other speeders tailgating you or you yourself manna kavving after getting distracted by matter padam posters on road side sevuru.

Mission #8: Avoid using any of the golden words like “o.”, “the…”, “poo..”, “la…” when speaking with area pasanga in nochikuppam. Minimum conversation duration is about 20 seconds.

Mission #9: Eat maximum number of Bajji’s by sandwiching them in between news paper and pressing to skillfully as to not to damage the bajji but extract all oil from it. (Caution: Each ML of oil will reduce life by 2%.) Then sell the left over oil for a good price in a nearby annachi kadai for funding sarakku + side dish that evening in tasmac.

Mission #10: Become a ko pa se for a political party and convince people that your thaleevar first claimed to be the indian obama and so he is definitely the indian obama.

Mission #11: Direct the maximum number of mega serials and use tears collected from thamizh makkal in prime time and store it in retteri and puzhaleri tank. De-salinate and treat the water and use that water to solve tamilnadu water crisis.

Mission #12: Collect mammool from everyone in town and divert funds recieved to all poly tasions in thamizh nadu. Distribute funds in direct proportion to measurement of pregnant pot bellys of ettu. Earn commision in this process.

Limited Edition CD Bonus Missions:

Bonus Mission #13: Build as many road side temples as possible and vasool pannify from them undiyals as much as you can. Start a TV channel with such money made through instant platform kovils.

Bonus Mission #14: Telecast useless dance programs, “manam thirandhu pesugiraar, vijay” kind of interviews, skewed news giving head count on ethir katchi thaleevars samsaaram and other mini minsaarams that he has. Use this popularity to contest and win elections or better collect nivaarana nidhi for a calamity that does not exist.

Thats it for now folks, if you have more though, please feel free to add it in the comments section.

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To babe or not to babe?!

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Posted on 5th January 2009 by Dilip Muralidaran in daily life |friends |media |personal |rantings

A very interesting conversation came up today on twitter. I came across this person a few days or perhaps a week back and her blog and her work. Today morning there was a tweet from her about her work being reviewed on a website. Eagerly i went on to read the review and i found the following line in the review, well actually that was the title of the review.

“two chio Asian babes and their travels around the world”

I liked the review but then i was disappointed with the way it was named. After an exchange with another friend of mine and thinking over it, im in a situation i often am in. Confused!

The point is this. The usage of the word “babes”. I think its not a necessary word to use. We are talking about a persons travel, the work he/she does and his/her contribution to society/art etc.,

Why in the world would i want to even know what gender he/she is? Its about the WORK and not about the physical attributes of the PERSON that you want to talk about. Yes, the person doing the work is equally important but then you aren’t reviewing the person. You are reviewing the work? aren’t you?

While in real life the women who did the travel and shot the videos may be hot chicks or as refereed to babes, its okay for a friend or a relative to refer to them both as babes for fun. Its probably okay for the men to talk behind her back when she walks around the mall or on the roads that she is a babe but for a media outlet to portray the babe in someone when reviewing their work does not sound normal to me.

I understand that babe can also be intended as a compliment and in fact in this case it might be too, i could never tell. What im not understanding is how long will we paint the woman = babe colors in our society? I find it rather a bit too stereo-typing all young attractive women. What if the woman did not create the work of art that was reviewed to be called a babe, what if she did it to be recognized as a photographer or a freelancing journalist? Is babe the word to use?

I recollect Richard Dawkins talking about feminists raising our awareness about us using male specific or male appeasing terminologies in daily life like “mankind” and “man made” when “human kind” or “human made” is perfectly acceptable and gender neutral a term.

In my personal opinion, i found the work very simplistic, to the point and very personally intimate without commercial journalism wrapped around it. I liked it.

So my question still is babe? Was babe a qualifier or babe an element of jazz that adds sparkle to the work? it don’t great but if it did, why?

I would probably never know.

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Viruthu Kudthukeeraango mamey!

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Posted on 3rd January 2009 by Dilip Muralidaran in Award |daily life |friends |personal

Ithnaala inna sollikkaradhu’nna nammalaanda vandhu, nee periya pishthu, nee sama bejaru, onnanda morchigina nee kazhatiduva ethiriyoda nijaru… nee vaangara DVD ellam vikkara edam burma bajaaru appadinnu koovi nammalaanda sokkaliya oru award’u kudthukkeraango.

Award kudtha sokkali inthamma thaan. ivango sama thool takkar madam’u. ivangalaanda friendshipp’a irundhiyaana ella thalivar padathukkum ticket ushaar panni tharauvaango, avvalo periya pulli ivango.

okay, matter’kku varuvom. What we do with this awardu? We are told we write something’u about ourselves.

Phaemilie:

We consider one and all to be family. But the jantha i share the house with is naina, aththa and my thambi who is my thuru pudicha irumbukkambi :P We keep family out of all our blog posts because we always write dangerous shit on blog which gets us lots of death threats on calls and emails. Now we don’t want the jantha at home to freak out, do we? So lets leave it at that.

Friends:

Where do i start with? I have a huge circle, i cant start counting and stop. However, there are a few precious ones. There is this post about my best friend. Then there is this one, who is the famous dilip model on flickr.

Me:

I decided to write an auto biography, so if you want to to know everything that ever happened in my life then you should start with here, here and here, that would be a great start.

My Love:

Hmm, boy likes girl. Girl shows signs, boy thinks he may get lucky. Girl marries a rich NRI that has sottai. End of story, i think this has happened so many times i even stopped keeping a count. That’s pretty much it. Itha ezhuthi vera tholaikkanuma?

Likes:

Science has always fascinated me, always. Gadget freak, i blow pretty much all of my paycheck on stuff that can do cool stuff. Photography is a great turn on for the past few years, i pretty much carry the SLR bodies and lenses everywhere. I can talk, non-stop. No exaggerations on this one.

As for posts, i think i personally like these posts of mine better.

The Excuse
Immanuel is a Pundai
#5, Sankara Madam St – Chapter#1(Memoirs of Desikachari Thaaththa and Kanakavalli Paatty)

Nominations:

Whom do i nominate? My job is easier done than said. Here is the list…

Aravind Kumar a.k.a The Psuedonym – Blogger, photographer and a wonderful friend.
Srivatsan – Blogger, photographer and excellent water company. Raj Palace vaazhga!
Coconut Chutney – Awesome read, fantastic blog.
Rage & Placidity – Wonderful blog by my friend prahalaathan.

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