Archive from March, 2010

I don’t want M.F Hussain Back

I’m tired of explaining things on twitter and chat so i decided i will write a blog post to consolidate my thoughts and present it in an orderly and clear manner without any confusion.

 

Preface:

M.F.Hussain the great artist whom many people are brooding over, his loss of Indian citizenship and want him back, is my subject for discussion. People are pissed off that the Hindu religious right over reacted and made him decide to give up his Indian citizenship for a Qatar one. People demand that India should extend an offer to bring him back and offer an apology as well. People claim that
“Art” and “Freedom of Expression” is above everything and no one has the right to not get offended. Artists should have no boundaries or restrictions and that they should be beyond offense & hurt.

 

Foreword:

I have no religious beliefs. I’m an outspoken atheist, no not the Karunanidhi kinds who love to blaspheme forward caste Hindu gods. I blaspheme all gods. I don’t care who gets offended and who does not. To me all god is blasphemy material and i will blaspheme things to death. I do not care who blasphemes what god and who gets offended. Blasphemy is a victimless crime. I do not support someone not to be offended at all.

 

Main Summary:

My Objective of this article is to strike a logical balance. We all know that India has blasphemy laws. Even though it sounds like stone age, yes in this country one cannot offend religious sentiments of another and get away with it. While i do not support this law i have to live with it for the time being until it is thrown to the dustbin like how criminalizing gays was trashed recently. It is in this context my argument is going to be. I’m all in support of freedom of expression. It should be applicable to all. Freedom of expression is not Selective. It is applicable to one and all. Just like how i love to call Mohammed a Pedophile, someone else should also have the freedom of expression to call Lord Shiva a murderous bastard. I cannot cry foul when someone else insults Shiva whilst i insult Prophet Mohammed or Vice Versa.

 

The Material:

I would like to show some of the images that MF Hussain drew that erected violence and criticism across the nation.

 

A fully dressed Muslim king and a naked Hindu Brahmin. While the Muslim king is shown in a dignified manner the Brahmin is butt naked. Brahmins are respected across India for their religious significance in the Hindu Dharma. Insulting a Brahmin Priest is equivalent to insulting a Imam or a Bishop.

25720_387940072320_679622320_4328199_2938709_n 

Lord Hanuman and Goddess Sita both shown naked. Additionally the naked Sita sits on Ravanan’s lap. Sita is a symbol of chastity and divinity according to Hindu’s. So much that mythology states that she could not be burnt by the flames when her husband Rama asked her to take the test. To depict Sita sitting butt naked on a naked Ravanan’s lap is nothing short of insult.

25720_387933842320_679622320_4328196_7302950_n

 

Draupadi shown naked. Whilst one can dismiss this is as not so bad it still could offend people nevertheless.

25720_387928652320_679622320_4328193_7828461_n

 

Goddess Parvati depicted naked. Additionally i see her carrying or touching a naked vinayaka (her son) as well. What does this mean. She is aroused by her own son?

25720_387923797320_679622320_4328186_8022185_n 

Goddess Saraswati depicted naked.

25720_387916907320_679622320_4328170_1212729_n

Goddess Lakshmi painted naked on Lord Ganesh’s head. Again compromising positions of gods and goddesses that may provoke anger.

25720_387909892320_679622320_4328140_1287617_n

 

Goddess Durga shown in an union with a Tiger. Notice how the anal sections of the human woman and the tiger collide in the drawing suggesting a copulation.

25720_387889797320_679622320_4328104_5911594_n

 

Here are some images the same person(artist) drew, in this case they are either Muslims or Christians…

Muslim poets Ghalib and Faiz shown properly and fully attired in a nice way

25720_387937057320_679622320_4328197_8036657_n

A fully clothed Muslim lady. Simple and elegant drawing. I don’t see how this lady could be a Muslim, maybe she does not have a bindi, thats why?

25720_387930687320_679622320_4328195_3672638_n

A painting of MF Hussain’s mother – properly and fully clothed.

25720_387913522320_679622320_4328154_809468_n

 

Mother Teresa shown fully clothed.

25720_387921792320_679622320_4328184_1430145_n

 

Hussain’s daughter painted fully and properly clothed.

25720_387926382320_679622320_4328187_4014243_n

 

A properly and fully-clothed Fatima, the Prophet’s daughter (from one the innumerable number of women he raped/impregnated or forcibly married).

25720_387906042320_679622320_4328134_949585_n

 

My Conclusion:

It is distinctly evident from MF Husain’s work that he likes to play spoil sport with Hindu items and he treats his own Muslim brethren and Christians with respect. When i say Hindu i refer to the followers of the religion called “Hinduism” that it is known today. It is evident that if MFH paints a picture of prophet Mohammed he would not have his hands to wash his rectal cavity after taking a dump, the next time around. The same can be said if he paints a picture of Mother Teresa in a bikini or say naked.

1. I’m happy that he has the balls to blaspheme against Hindu Gods. I don’t care, god does not exist and insulting a non existing entity is not a criminal offence in my opinion. Like i said earlier, blasphemy is a victimless crime.

2. Applying the same logic Christian & Muslims gods don’t exist as well. Hence offending their gods should not be a big ass problem as well. Unfortunately no, in this country secularism means bashing the majority to appease the minority. We all know what Taslima’s Burkha article did and how many lives were lost because someone wrote something about a piece of clothing & commented on a religious text from their personal opinion.

3. Just as Muslims & Christians have the constitutional right to feel offended (ironically) so do Hindu’s have the right to feel offended if someone depicts a mother god and her  son god to be copulating or performing sexual deeds to each other.

4. To bring back M.F. Hussain or to apologize to him would be hypocrisy. If M.F. Hussain deems an apology and needs to be brought back to India and given safe custody and citizenship then i demand Salman Rushdie to be awarded $100 million dollars and an apology for his work being banned. I also propose that we compensate Dan Brown and Sony Pictures with a $500 Million cheque and apology and we will screen “The Da Vinci Code” all over again in all theaters and govt. offices and public places across India.

5. It is pretty obvious neither will we allow “Satanic Verses” nor do we tolerate The “Da Vinci Code” movie. Both of them are an item that indicate “Freedom of Expression” and “Artistic Expression” as well just like MF Hussain’s paintings do.

6. If we cannot tolerate one, then the other cannot be tolerated as well.

7. It is hypocrisy and unfair to say that someone can offend Hindu’s and not face the consequences but Muslims or Christians should NEVER be offended at no cost even if they outrightly offend the Hindu’s.

 

I don’t care for Muslims or Christians or Hindu’s. I do however care when one of them is being subject to insult to appease the other or question one of them while they insult the other will generate violence and commotion. Everyone is equal in the eyes of the law, even if that law is stupid to claim one cannot be offended at all (on religious grounds) like how it is in India.

M.F Hussain is no holier than Dan Brown or Salman Rushdie. Nor is he exclusive from the Danish Newspaper who were brought to their knees for publishing a silly fucking cartoon. For all i care, M.F Hussain can go to hell. I care less. Let him practice his “Freedom of Expression” by painting Mohammed in Qatar, if he has the balls to. If only he can play around with Islamic or Christian figures like he does with Hindu figures and then demands that people should not feel offended, i would consider him to be a true secularist and would voice my support to bring him back. Until then, let him scramble in the desert and drink crude oil for time pass. He is a mere perverted Muslim prick who wants to offend Hindu’s and take cover under the blanket of “Art” & “Freedom of Expression” and play politics with our skewed idea of secularism which applies only to Muslims & Christians while Hindu’s can be offended and abused without any question.

Mar 6, 2010 - Chennai, comedy, india    29 Comments

Chennai Hating for Dummies

Dear People of various kind who come from all sorts of places that have one thing in common, you want to hate Chennai but you don’t know how. All you can say is “Chennai Sucks” on twitter, blogs and forums/websites i empathize with you and i feel your pain.

Here are some pointers that will not make you look like a fool that you may be for real, instead it would make you appear that you really do have a valid reason to be hating Chennai. If you follow the instructions i give you carefully in this blog post, you would look cool amidst your Amitus Abeyarus kind.

If you follow my 5 points you will certainly be someone. Someone whom people think have some masala in their talks and its not pure gas, the ones that come excessively post a couple of butter parathas & aloo mutter.

1. Auto’s in Chennai suck, they fleece and cheat people and they are rude to them. Really, this is possibly the best point one can make against Chennai & you cannot find a valid rebuttal from none of the losers living who live in Chennai when they try defend their city as and when you abuse it. I mean why do you care that there is a language issue and you cannot bargain with auto-karans (wallas) like them stupid Tamils do and get a better deal. You cannot bargain in Tamil & that’s the end of it. You are too holy to ask some dark skinned smelly Tamil guy on the roads who maybe friendly enough to speak to the auto guy for you and help you with things but no, not really needed. Keep your fair skinned supremacy to yourself and don’t let them blackenese get close to you. Why do you need to use the public transport, especially the trains which are far less crowded than Mumbai or the MRTS which is a fabulous facility when speaking of public transport. Auto’s are bad, its a historical fact that cant be changed tomorrow and Chennai needs to be hated for that, now go get it!

2. Nobody speaks the National Language of India, “Hindi”. Yes, unruly, uncultured, ill mannered and unpatriotic Tamil’s. No it does not matter that India does not have the concept of National Language and Hindi is not the national language of India. We have Official Languages and Hindi/English which definitely is but so are the regional languages of the state that are official languages for government communication as well. Its okay, do diss Chennai for this. You can’t find a madrasi complain that no one speaks Tamil in New Delhi or Mumbai but so what? Despite the fact that tamilnadu has never been invaded by any of them mughals and they have never had the need or come under the circumstances where they’ve had the need to communicate in Hindi. Those non-hindi speaking Chennai’tes are definitely country brutes and they deserve all the flack they get.

3. The Chennai weather sucks. What do you expect? Its just like the bleady food they eat, its hot as hell! Yes, people in Chennai have no control over the weather, it is naturally so because that’s how the topography works out to be. Chennai is hot and sultry and its humid and its complete turn off for anyone. Chennai people do not have a weather machine to control their weather, nor can the north indians control their uber freezing winter but what the hell. Chennai is hot and chennai sucks and its your birthright to complain and insult chennai for something that it cannot help change or that it did not cause in the first place.

4. Chennai food sucks! You cannot get good dhal and roti here anywhere. It does not matter if the population of Chennai majorly consumes rice. You have the right to hate dosa (btw its ‘dosai’ actually) just because, well you need something to hate so why not? No paratha’s, no aloo ghobi. Chennai food sucks. Why? Because it does, period.

5. No hot girls in Chennai! Can’t see them tight salwar wearing big round booty showing jean clad girls in Chennai. Nor can you talk or make comments obscenely at girls in Chennai roads without getting thrashed. Even the prostitutes you find here are so black skinned and dirty. Yes, Chennai has lesser of the sexual harassment on the roads and the violence as well but who cares. You cannot find girls that show skin, nor can you find good prostitutes. Chennai Sucks!

There you go. If you follow these five pointers and build on top of it using your creativity you are one of the elite Chennai hater who would be respected and admired in the internet on communities on orkut named Chennai Sucks which have awesome topics to discuss like “Lungi Hatao Poongi Bhajao” that elevates your intellectual capabilities to the stars.

Mar 1, 2010 - daily life, friends, funny, Twitter    1 Comment

#msnarainishot

Okay, it all started like this. Narain was on twitter and apparently some gay guy found him irresistibly hot and tweeted out the below…

So some gay guy was troubling narain on twitter spamming him much.

This lead to that and finally we all decided that narain was just too hot for all gay guys in chennai and so was the hashtag #msnarainishot born. From this a few specks of gem were spewed out from various juntha in twitter. Here are some of them masterpieces…

Ratzz

 

@msnarain nvr needs a woolen clothing. #msnarainishot

@msnarain nvr gets to enjoy ‘cool’ drinks, coz #msnarainishot

Guys and Girls will be hunting for the lotion so that they can be safe while they are with @msnarain #msnarainishot

why dint @msnarain‘s folks buy a microwave? coz #msnarainishot

why did voltas ac sales go up suddenly?? Coz #msnarainishot

why cant we ever have winter olympics in chennai, Coz #msnarainishot

why did rajinikanth say Okay Buddy Cool in sivaji? coz #msnarainishot

Ratzzz switched off the fan to conserve energy then turned it on as #msnarainishot

Surajram Kumaravel

 

Okay. My server has crashed. Evidently cause #msnarainishot

Radio Mirchi is trying to rope in @msnarain as their brand ambassador. #msnarainishot

 

Dilip

 

chatti is called pot, maattikina ur caught. pullikky peru dot, olagathukke theriyum #msnarainishot

the cia has agents out in the field to kill @msnarain & arrest global warming. why? cuz #msnarainishot

theriyalenna kekkanum what? vayasu pasanga sight adipaanga lot, spam panna use pannu bot, global warming is proof #msnarainishot

war is always fought, lessons are always taught. fishes are always caught, everybody says #msnarainishot

era theva yeni, thannikku hindi’la paani. gudurai is called pony, #msnarainishot moodikinu po nee!

election vandha podanum vote’u, ragam therinja padanum paatu. address solla theriyanum route’u, ellarum sollunga #msnarainishot ‘u.

paduthu thoonga thevai cot, figure’a thallinu poga find a spot. meendhu pona biryani will rot, i dont care what u say #msnarainishot