Chennai, comedy, india 
29 Comments Chennai Hating for Dummies
Dear People of various kind who come from all sorts of places that have one thing in common, you want to hate Chennai but you don’t know how. All you can say is “Chennai Sucks” on twitter, blogs and forums/websites i empathize with you and i feel your pain.
Here are some pointers that will not make you look like a fool that you may be for real, instead it would make you appear that you really do have a valid reason to be hating Chennai. If you follow the instructions i give you carefully in this blog post, you would look cool amidst your Amitus Abeyarus kind.
If you follow my 5 points you will certainly be someone. Someone whom people think have some masala in their talks and its not pure gas, the ones that come excessively post a couple of butter parathas & aloo mutter.
1. Auto’s in Chennai suck, they fleece and cheat people and they are rude to them. Really, this is possibly the best point one can make against Chennai & you cannot find a valid rebuttal from none of the losers living who live in Chennai when they try defend their city as and when you abuse it. I mean why do you care that there is a language issue and you cannot bargain with auto-karans (wallas) like them stupid Tamils do and get a better deal. You cannot bargain in Tamil & that’s the end of it. You are too holy to ask some dark skinned smelly Tamil guy on the roads who maybe friendly enough to speak to the auto guy for you and help you with things but no, not really needed. Keep your fair skinned supremacy to yourself and don’t let them blackenese get close to you. Why do you need to use the public transport, especially the trains which are far less crowded than Mumbai or the MRTS which is a fabulous facility when speaking of public transport. Auto’s are bad, its a historical fact that cant be changed tomorrow and Chennai needs to be hated for that, now go get it!
2. Nobody speaks the National Language of India, “Hindi”. Yes, unruly, uncultured, ill mannered and unpatriotic Tamil’s. No it does not matter that India does not have the concept of National Language and Hindi is not the national language of India. We have Official Languages and Hindi/English which definitely is but so are the regional languages of the state that are official languages for government communication as well. Its okay, do diss Chennai for this. You can’t find a madrasi complain that no one speaks Tamil in New Delhi or Mumbai but so what? Despite the fact that tamilnadu has never been invaded by any of them mughals and they have never had the need or come under the circumstances where they’ve had the need to communicate in Hindi. Those non-hindi speaking Chennai’tes are definitely country brutes and they deserve all the flack they get.
3. The Chennai weather sucks. What do you expect? Its just like the bleady food they eat, its hot as hell! Yes, people in Chennai have no control over the weather, it is naturally so because that’s how the topography works out to be. Chennai is hot and sultry and its humid and its complete turn off for anyone. Chennai people do not have a weather machine to control their weather, nor can the north indians control their uber freezing winter but what the hell. Chennai is hot and chennai sucks and its your birthright to complain and insult chennai for something that it cannot help change or that it did not cause in the first place.
4. Chennai food sucks! You cannot get good dhal and roti here anywhere. It does not matter if the population of Chennai majorly consumes rice. You have the right to hate dosa (btw its ‘dosai’ actually) just because, well you need something to hate so why not? No paratha’s, no aloo ghobi. Chennai food sucks. Why? Because it does, period.
5. No hot girls in Chennai! Can’t see them tight salwar wearing big round booty showing jean clad girls in Chennai. Nor can you talk or make comments obscenely at girls in Chennai roads without getting thrashed. Even the prostitutes you find here are so black skinned and dirty. Yes, Chennai has lesser of the sexual harassment on the roads and the violence as well but who cares. You cannot find girls that show skin, nor can you find good prostitutes. Chennai Sucks!
There you go. If you follow these five pointers and build on top of it using your creativity you are one of the elite Chennai hater who would be respected and admired in the internet on communities on orkut named Chennai Sucks which have awesome topics to discuss like “Lungi Hatao Poongi Bhajao” that elevates your intellectual capabilities to the stars.
Abey Chennai Suxxxx yaar. Yes. This is the correct spelling of sucks. For e.g: Delhi roxxxxx. More the number of “X”s u add, the more Amit you are. Obviously you are not as cool as an Amit. I mean it is sooo much more cooler to say suxxx and write stuff like “I cnt stnd chnai wthr maaan. so ht so swty, suxxxx all de tym yaar”
Anyway that apart, a few other things which you have left out about “sucky” Chennai
1. Chennai mein there are not many pubs and places to “hang” out yaaar. Again and again you have to go to the beach and eat sundal yaar. Suxxx.
2. Most of the theatres (except multiplexes) show only Tamil movies yaar. Well, most of the theatres in Kolkata show Bengali movies, in Cochin show Malayalam movies but well never mind. Chennai Suxxx nevertheless.
3. Spencer plaza and Citi Centre ke alawa there is no other cool place in Chennai. Suxxxx.
P.S: I think sarcasm would be wasted on Amits. I wouldnt be surprised if an Amit left a comment here saying “I totlly agree wit u yaar. I ve bin in dis city 4 2 yrs n i toh cmpltly hate it. Suxxxx”
Well, well,
As my name says, I am Wannabe Amit.
Alright, no sarcasm really. Why? Because being “The Amit” is so cool that if it was any more cold, I would have running nose(that too in a hot as hell place like Chennai)
Okay so where was I? I am bronze colored North Indian (oh, Amit as you call us), spent 6 years in Chennai.*gasp*
Yeah, its hot, no doubt; Police behave as if they are the in-laws(satyama), Bessie undergoes a blackout, a curfew and becomes a war zone all combined into one almost by 11.00, but well I still remember Chennai as a different place.
Partly because, I enjoyed watching people there. I dont know why, I like the folks out there. Mylapore was one of the places which reminded me, of a melting pot of sorts(btw, I am an atheist for disclosure).So, I liked Chennai, because it had a very different cultural undercurrent, I had good friends(a few Mallus, a few Tams, a few other Amits) and overall, perhaps I am a rice eater(does that disqualify me altogether from the race of Amit?)
So all said and done, why, at times do I sense a feeling of “oh-you-are-just-gonna-blurt-out-Chennai-suxxx-anytime-now-hold-it-hold-it-there” from my Chennai friends?
Just as like, Amits generalised everything in Chennai arent Selvakumars generalising the same thing about NI? (as twitter hashtag goes: #justasking )
P.S: Chennai Suxx even some of my Tam friends have said as well. Origin: kancheepuram,trichy
P.P.S: You got to accept, that heavy handed policing is not the answer to maintaining law and order. Surely it works, but trust me, it creates a hell for any person with testosterone in his blood(Amit or Selvakumar). And yeah TASMAC serves piss as beer.
P.P.P.S Do the girls of Chennai count me as fairskinned. Please please dont break my heart. Please say they do.
Adios,
Wannabe Amit
I think you have already written on this. Why do you give a damn to what they feel? Its good that they hate Chennai. Let them propagate that throughout the north. Its good for us. It will stop them from coming like buffaloes falling in a water hole.
I am a Tam from Hyd. Schooling in Hyd and in Chennai for past 7 yrs. B.Tech and then working for the past 1.5yrs. How about a few different ones for a change? Let me see what you have to say. For a guy with family here, Chn is good. For a bachelor like me, it is HELL.
1)Why is dosai-kaapi stuff so costly in Chennai? Been to Bangalore? Hyderabad? Eaten in the “darshinis” – simple no frill stand and eat for a reasonable amount. The hotels are either like Hot Chips/HSB charging insane amounts or Kaiyendhi Bhavans catering to the masses. What about a middle class bachelor?
2)Tried to rent a house anywhere in Chennai? Oh you must be the elite Tam-Brahm from PSBB living in a posh house in Mylapore or T nagar. Chennai has the worst housing among Hyd-Bang-Chn. I have had horrible experiences over the past 1 yr. There is a serious dearth of quality housing. There are too few flats.Chennai rents are also the costliest. So compared to Hyd-Bang, food is costly and rents are costly.
3)OK, what about theatres? Why should a ticket cost 80bucks in Ega/Casino/Udhayam? Been to any theatre in Hyd? For 50Rs you will get a Devi level experience. Again the extreme ends of the spectrum
4) Dude, what do you eat when you are hungry at 5PM and there is nothing to eat at home? Where do you eat ? Also, do you eat idli-dosai in the nights daily? You don’t touch rice is it? If NO, then why the hell don’t hotels offer rice in the night? What am i supposed to eat? The same dosai that I ate in the morning?
Only 2 classes of people can enjoy Chennai – the lower middle class who can make do with Kaiyendhi Bhavans and barotas (jeez!). Or the upper middle class who can afford HSB daily.
hello dilip .. i think you are’nt a perfect person to say abt chennai plz remove this .. your fifth point was bull shit. think u r a north indian better stay away from chennai n say ur people to not to come n stay here ..coz u people can only there to expose.. making de city strange .. better u suck .. shit
Bravo,
Well written I must say…
Ignorance is bliss… in this case piss…
Why is it that I see so many posts defending Chennai, as a pure and serene town with absolutely no shortcoming..
I’d only like to mention one point here… yes just one… this point sums up all the problems that people have with Chennai and the reason why it was voted the 7th most city (just food for thought… so many respondents felt so for chennai…yet no one has left any room for improvement in the city…as it is ‘perfect’…so to speak)…
Anyway,…. Chennai’s most important caveat… are it’s people!!!
Yes…people like Dilip and Rajesh and Kart’h'ik
The native population is
1. Unhygienic
2. Smelly… (as a result of ^^, but still very irritating)
3. Very conservative for any sort of corporate development (Restaurants close at 3, gates close at 9, no non veg/alcohol/girls in your apartment) Mind you these are rules specific to Chennai..nowhere else will you find such a fine and disciplined manner of living…
4. Rude to anyone who cant speak in Tamil…(An extension of which…is that they render services at an almost unbearable expense to anyone nt frm the land of tams)
5. They add an ‘h’ and an ‘aa’ to every word… let’s face it …it’s just irritating… and ‘h’ is pronounced ‘hech’…
6. Their nature to levy restrictions… Only cheap shitty liquor is allowed in TASMAC..(a booming underground blackmarket says otherwise)
And the list goes on with several such adjectives…
Addressing a couple of points raised by you…
@Food : there is ample availability of vada dosa and rice etc etc in say delhi or mumbai… and if there are north indians present in Chennai..why should they not expect dal roti…
(case in point: you said dhal instead of dal)
@Language: it’s not that people dont speak in Hindi…they chose not to around anyone who does so as to fleece every outsider
@Girls: No one would mind seeing any good looking girls around…you might belong to a different orientation…so might be good for you…
If you dont like it…You’re lying… and to yourself….
Hope this time around, people can take the criticism constructively..
As someone who has lived here for a considerable while… There are a lot of advantages here… but only if u’re native… if u’re not…you’re not welcome…
If only you could take an outsider’s perspective you would know why a lot of poeple still done mention chennai in the same leagues as delhi mumbai bangalore
Cheers
Also Dil-eep,
Hindi’s not the National Language…
Though, it does happen to be the official language as you can find on the ‘government’ link below, not some random article about a state government gone rogue
http://india.gov.in/knowindia/official_language.php
T&R,
ws wondering wat to write ever since i read ur reply… bt den tot – why waste words? Amit, I say this with no ill feeling – but you’re a cunt. I was going to say whiny ass cunt..but why waste words..
ps if ur wondering- I’m not from tamil nadu..but hav been livin here for 5 yrs nw..
pps do u have a website amit?
jus wanted to post “ur a cunt” there too
Chennai is my home , and im proud of it . To all the people from the north : you guys are no better , you come to chennai and trash the place up like a fuckin plague ,, if u think it sucks , why dont u get the fuck out of here !! and go stuff your faces with rajma chawal , the best food that the north has to offer, if there’s anything that sucks its that coz it looks like shit ! ur brains don’t function well coz u eat this crap and you create words like roxxxx and suxxx ,, . If you don’t know much about Chennai , I strongly suggest that you put ur balls where ur mouth is and shut the fuck up !!
Franc,
I think you have never been out of chennai anytime (thats the basic problem with most of the tamilians). You said that the best food north has to offer is rajma chawal..are u an asshole ? have u ever been there and eaten our royal rajasthani cuisine considered as best in INDIA. You fucking moron, if u dont have ample knowledge, dont comment anything.
Hallo ,
I am singapore tamil
I think chennai is such super city with so many temples all you north indian have so many temples?come to chennai i will buy you chatpat chiken kabab. the girl in chennai are very good -not exposing wearing jeans. I hate hindi and english you are not wanted in chennai.
idly dose only cost 18 rupees.one kapi is 7 rupees- what you problem.
I know many white skin girl in chennai but they dont expose jeanspant n tshirt like mumbai or bangalore. mubai bangalore all callgirls-verydirty
Hi Guys I am a north Indain from PUNJAB…I ve been in chennai from past 1 year n mlovin chennai…FRANC is right, if we dont like chennai we shud not be here….
Let me tell you how chennai is better than DELHI or any other metro city in INDIA:-
–here your sisters n mother can roam freely even at wee hours, coz tamilians not gonna tease them on roads, no snatching of chains, no poking etc etc
–policemen r very helping, not like in DELHI where they should be send to school to learn some manners
–buses, trains n roads r not crowded as in DELHI where your new car will look like vintage car after getting back home
–here you dont need to beware of pickpockets but in delhi u need to be…while sleeping too.
–It is 10 times cleaner city than delhi.
–In delhi every girl has lost her moral values by copying western culture bt chennai pepl hav kept their traditional values in tact.
–here there r no power cuts, but in delhi there power sucks!!!
Well u can abuse me if u dnt like my comment, bt it will not help u….btr get lost or love the land which is serving u……last bt nt least dosas n idlis r nt dat bad to eat
hats off to MADRAS LIKERS … i m proud 2 b a madrasi …. the bastards 1 who disliks madras then dont come here and eat our shits ….
HEY THAVIDIYA PAIYA .. IF CHENNAItees ARE BLACK SO WHAT TO DO ITS GOD GIVEN . NOT THEIR MISTAKE. EVERY NORTH INDIAN IS BASTER BECAUSE THEY FEEL THAT THEY ARE THE SEXIE EST. WE ARE NOT FOOLS TO LEARN HINDI . FIRST YOU LEARN TAMIL AND THEM WE MAY TRY TO LEARN HINDI
DONT SAY ANY RUBBISH ABOUT CHENNAI . FIRST OF ALL YOU ARE NOT AN INDIAN AT ALL BECAUSE YOU SPEAK BAD ABOUT OUR 4TH BIGGEST METRO . GO AND SEE IN EVERY COUNTRY IS THERE ANY PEOPLE SPEAKING BAD ABOUT THEIR MOTHER LAND AND THEIR LADIES. TAMIL IS NATIONAL LANGUAGE OF SRILANKA, SINGAPORE ,MALAYSIA,AND RECOGNISED LANGUAGE IN LONDON , TORONTO, ROME. IN LONDON YOU CAN USE TAMIL IN EVERY AREA . WHERE AS COULD YOU USE HINDI IN ANY OTHER COUNTRY EXERT INDIA,. VAZHGA BHARATHAM
Hello,
I came across your blog because I was going to soon write a post about Madras myself. I dislike madras, (I’m Tamilian and I live there) but I think as a city it is also misunderstood because of its staunch singularity. One of the biggest myths about the people of Madras is that they have a superiority complex. Actually, alot of these accusations stem from the fact that not many know that Madras never had any kind of Mughal influence which spread the wide use of the language in the other states. Most Tamils I know speak Hindi as well as Tamil. But of course, when we’re in Tamilnadu, we needn’t use Hindi at all:)
But yes, I find it awfully boring there. Lol.
Chennai sucks.
Chennai sucks..
Chennai sucks…
Bad weather – OK – it is natural and you can’t change that. Tamil – You have to bear that if you are living in chennai, so you can’t complain. But bad people, with so much short temper, and narrow mindedness, it is a problem with the culture. People here are the worst i have seen. With lot of attitude, and they think theirs is the best metro in the world. They cheat for 10 rupees. They lie for 10 rupees. There are temples everywhere, and they sh*t in front of them. There are roads, but they walk in center of them. Bicycles get precedence in a busy road, than any other automobile. I am not sure why so many industries come up at this much fu*ked up a place. Their politicans are good – they know how to steal money, get votes and get companies to come here.
CHENNAI – THE WORST PLACE EVER….and IT SUCKS
Hey ass hole murali… You mother fxxx … fucking bloody….
Dei baadu thevidiya paiyyaa… Unga amma ooru mela vitu sambaadhi da… pundai mavaney… thirutu thaaiyoli… Otha soooth kilinjirum… Otha north india la dhan da iruken thavikikra vaaiku thani kuda thara maatanga da… Porambokku chennaiku pee alla vandhut indha koodhi pechai pundai.. ALright let me tell you in your own language 1ly thing i can say about u is MAADHAAR Jodh…
The things which i have posted is only applicable to the peoples who spks ill abt chennai…
hello frnds m a bengali girl an because of some official reason i travelled a lot in india. i personaly was staying in chennai for 6 yrs. and trust me it was the “GOLDEN DAYS OF MY LIFE”.
i juz cant count, there are so many things that i like abt tamilnadu. and not only me even my family tells other people that tamilian are trustable and good compare to other state. those who hav complained abt chennai does’nt hav any strong reason.and if u think those reason were gud enough, in that case foreigner hating INDIANS also have a valid reason. its quite natural to face difficulty to jump into a different and new culture all of a sudden. but if we are realy human being we shud know to adjust and learn rather than grumbling around…. i like evrything abt chennai so much that i can’t stop myself to visit that place again and again. i cn xplain lots of wonderful things abt tamilnadu or rather gv a complete Bibliography bt it wont help until u hav a positive perception insted of being rigid in ur own theory.
feeling so pity for those who hav insane feelings abt chennai and still suffering….
hi indians,
its so nice to see people fighting for there community. dont u think it would be much better to use the same effort for learning new things and new culture no matter which corner of india u r form. oh i forgot u promised not to do that……
take care
I have been in chennai for 22 yrs and it sucks for many reasons.
but,I can extend the same thought for India as a whole.also,
Looking at words like ” dark skinned ” and “black” used by the blogger in an insulting context shows how progressive he is.
same goes for the people who support his views have also not disagreed or pointed this out. you ppl suck..
being ‘racist’(weird considering many of us are belong to the same) is childish, insecure and downright stupid. if you have an intelligent case to put forward to why chennai sucks, pls do.
P.S chennai has many horrible issues that you have not mentioned but so does ur beloved city
ignore the typos/grammatical mistakes in the above post.i assume its pretty understandable..
all u motherfuckers of chennai. chennai is the lundest city ever made on this earth. the difference between you and us is that we are indians and you are south indians
Fuck you, north indians. all non-chennaiites are :
GTFO chennai if you came upto this
1) superficial
2) bigoted
3) racist
4) cheap
5) uneducated
6) stupid
7) silly
FUCK TAMILS
Chennai is way better than other metro’s in india.Chennai is nick named as “detroit of asia” by foreigners.
just stumbled upon this blog! great post .. i have been on the receiving end of Chennai bashing many a times..the best way to deal with them is just ignore .. you cant react to every xenophobe on the street.. remember we live in a country that institutionalized racism .. if someone has the gall to say ‘ i hate you because u are ugly’ ,he is too dumb to understand any rational argument ..