Chennai, The 7th Most Hated City in the World

Written by Dilip Muralidaran on October 19, 2009 – 4:28 pm -

After Krish pointed out Lonely Planet about some of the facts on Chennai, our beloved city, Lonely Planet did put a shabby effort to re-write the piece which does not look as miserable as it used to before.

Lonely Planet however, does have another interesting Article. They call it the Cities you really hate and they list a lot of cities and its anybody’s guess Chennai is on it too and it repeats again, like it did in the previous article…

We describe it as lacking Mumbai’s prosperity, Delhi’s history or Bengaluru’s buzz.

 

I’m going to merely repeat what has already been said before by many people on krish’s blog.

1. Mumbai’s Prosperity – Sure yes, they have bollywood. How come our Kollywood, the second most largest movie industry got ignored on this front? How come Chennai being the backbone of Indian automotive market got comfortably ignored? In Chennai, we don’t have Benz SUV’s running over people sleeping on the platforms and killing them at large and the driver walking away scot free. The poor get a little less poorer here some of the times and maybe richer too occasionally compared to mumbai’s “rich getting richer & poor getting poorer” as our super star rajinikanth would say. On one side lies five star hotels and Benz SUV’s (which are manufactured in sriperumbudur – an industrial town setup near Chennai) and on the other slums where people undergo untold pain and hardship. Ever heard of sustainable development/progress? That’s Chennai for starters. Finally, we definitely don’t have to worry about the underworld that bollywood is so famous for.

2. Delhi’s History – I will quote from Chandrachoodan’s words since i can never top him when it comes to Chennai’s History…

What history can Chennai claim? Besides being the first major city the British built in India, besides it 1000 year old temples and 500 year old churches and 200 year old mosques and ancient port towns and stone-age settlements, what history can Chennai claim? The city has absolutely no history, which is why even the Portuguese thought it not wise to give Santhome away as dowry to the British king, opting instead to give them Bombay. The city has no history whatsoever, which is why almost all of Independent India’s institutions had to be founded in Madras. The city has no history or why else would the British pioneer the architectural style of Indo-Saracenic, fusing Muslim/Persian styles with the classical styles of south India, in Madras?

 

3. Bengaluru’s Buzz – For starters, how about Chennai being the Second largest software exporter in India, behind Bangalore being ignored without any sort of hesitation? Secondly, how about Chennai being the backbone of the Indian Automobile industry with over 40% of production + distribution happening in plants setup in and around Chennai by Hyundai, Maruti, Tata, TVS and Mahindra. Answers where all those damn cars in Outer ring road (that clogs the narrow Bangalore roads and make the city hell to drive around) comes from, don’t it.

 

My only question here is this. “How do you hate a city?”

I mean i can understand if you are a foreigner and you are asked to relocate to a new city and you find the food and the culture and practices hostile and you hate life for that moment of time while you get adjusted to it or try and fit in desperately. I’ve been through that in Bangalore and i can accept that but then i eventually moved on and now i love that city and would not hesitate to move back if conditions favored. But as a “traveler” or a “tourist” how can you hate a city? I mean, if you get mugged or robbed or raped its one thing, still hating a city on the whole? I mean why would you even have an article that says “hate” on your site when your intent is supposed to be promoting factual, neutral and unbiased information about a place. I don’t get it, seriously.

The whole point of travelling, i feel personally is to experience. Its agreed not all experiences may be pleasant or something everyone would like. However, just because a few people wanted to play it too safe and never got to know the real local things to do and have fun in a place, does that make the place hated? Wow, this is possibly the first time im hearing such an idea.

Finally you also say…

Even the Movie stars are ‘not that hot’

As you put it and you even claim you are being kind. Kind for not being more sexist?

You seem to have this thing for rating a movie star based on looks and sexuality and nothing more, probably. While looks and sexuality are a major part of a movie star, which i completely agree on.. its not everything. I can agree with the fact that we brown and black skinned Tamilian’s are not as appealing and sexy compared to the white skinned north Indians. That’s the only way i can put it. I fail to see it in any other terms. I do agree our heroines are fat and yes, we like them that way. We prefer them to anorexic women with oversized implants whose silicon in the breast weighs more or less their own body weight, they diet so hard like “oh my god if i don’t eat one more meal i may die of starvation” looks. We have this fetish for some oversized women and i certainly do not deny that. Why else would Shakila be the most famous porn star in the country? Oh wait, did i say country? Wow, yes that includes my north Indian friends who are truck loads in number that love some shakila porn on their comps and always keep asking if there is something new, quite embarrassingly.. one has to admit, being south indian.

Nevertheless, if you knew who Trisha, Simran, Asin, Shreya are and if you ever looked at how our women swoon to see topless Surya or scream on seeing our Superstar Rajinikanth who is loved for his charisma on screen and Ulaganathan Kamalahasan’s exceptionally directed movies and acting skills, you would not really have made that naive statement. I guess sweaty Cleavages, almost nipple revealing clothing and always bare bodied hero’s of the north is what you are fond of, probably. I will admit, i get excited too, looking at deepika padukone or aishwarya rai’s [who by the way entered the movie industry via a “Tamil” kodambakkam (a place in chennai) film] frame but i do snap back to reality and don’t get carried away. There are to many lovely pairs of women’s bosoms and i cant be stuck with a few all the time. After all, variety is the spice of life. However when it comes to the movies, we like the usual masala flicks like any indian but get very serious about quality performances, script, story-line, sequencing, editing and playback which are all things we fight and argue about over a cup of filter kaapi at saravana bhavan or karpagambal’s mess. If you wanna know more on this read this too. If you still aint satisfied, i invite you to karpagambal’s mess where i will treat you to the world famous in chennai filter coffee and masala dosai to discuss this matter seriously with another 20 of us chennai’ vasi’s (fuck chennaikers) who will fiercely debate the issue with great passion.

I know, if at all i have any chance some Lonely Planet writer will drop by and put a politically correct statement in a decent manner (unlike the flair with which i use expletives and im so infamous for) stating some stuff which obviously will mean “that’s what people think abt Chennai, its full of shit so get lost” kind of remark that was already posted like this in Sharanya’s blog.

But hey, its a blog and unfortunately it happens to be mine. We are a democracy and everyone has the freedom of expression (unless you are messing with the real baddies in which case thou shalt be wrong) to say what they want, so there goes my 23 minutes of ranting on a random blog no sane person on planet earth would waste time reading or comment to result in futile results.

Tags: Chennai Sucks, Hated Cities, Lonely Planet, Madras
Posted in Chennai, country, crib, media, opinion, rantings | 23 Comments »

When the Rupee can Fuck Off…

Written by Dilip Muralidaran on August 31, 2009 – 5:56 pm -

I had some nice fun catching up with Reva and Gautham this sunday. We met up at a very upscale coffee place in a book store.

While we were catching up on things and discussing my north india tour et all, i noticed something i’ve noticed shit loads of times before. I thought i would write about it today.

I’ve always had the habit of calling things in straight forward terms, for example what happens in every religious book off all religions, what other people would call culture, i would call sexism.

On a similar note, i noticed something which in my opinion can only be called Treason. I’m of the opinion that i live in india and we indians use the Indian Rupee as our currency for all sorts of trade activities within india for all indian goods of indian origin, made in india. I hope that makes things clear.

Now what i did see was books displayed and one or two of them books had “now at a new reduced price of US $ 45” or something along those lines. This is not the first time i see stuff like this on window displays of shops. While it is acceptable that exclusive items that are not available in india but made available exclusively by an isolated entity like a shop where in a seperate Indian version/edition of the product is not available the quotation of foreign currency might be unavoidable.

However what seems to be happening is people quoting american/european currency for the heck of it to give something a posh “im an imported good” feel to it when you turn to the last page of the book it perfectly quotes a indian version print and the local printing press’s name as well, this practice of quoting dollars on goods as completely ridiculous.

I don’t get it. Do i agree with the fact that almost all indian made products or consumer goods suck in quality? Yes, i certainly think so. I myself use much of foreign made consumer goods for quality and health reasons much but that does not mean that i have to read a US dollar price tag (regardless of the fact i may be paying dollar equivalents in rupees).

Regardless of how much shit i have in my country and how it may suck im an indian and im proud of it. When i buy something sold inside the indian border, i would want to be quoted a price in indian currency.

I just cannot accept blindly giving head to white skinned fanaticism. Its racism at its simplest form and communicating in a foreign currency inside the country, regardless of what country you are in is treason. Retailers please get this fact. I dont care if you bill me twice as much just because you sold it in an a/c showroom with a please and thank you. I will cough it up, in RUPEES.

Tags: consumerism, dollars, Racism, rupees, sales
Posted in country, crib, daily life, incident, opinion, questions, rantings | 1 Comment »

For the Pill that lived in Pain…

Written by Dilip Muralidaran on June 27, 2009 – 5:44 pm -

If Michael Jackson was wine, he would possibly be by far the best wine i would have ever tasted in my entire lifetime. I’ve always had this connectivity when Michael speaks out, especially about his childhood and about the children of the world. I think we share a common thread, in the sense that like his, my childhood was not a normal one. Being left out is no fun, especially when your friends are out there playing in the field and you have to sit and watch or see kids around you do all sorts of wonderful things… hiking, cycling, scout, NSS.. you name it. If you even suggest you want to attempt such things, you get laughed at and your capabilities constantly question everyday. It’s not easy, i can tell you that for sure.

Michael Jackson was a pill, a pain killer perhaps. When you turn on thriller and listen to “Beat It” you know you just gotta beat it if you wanna stay alive. You live by the words and with the music. You know you have to “Keep the Faith” no matter what comes your way and if something needs to change for the better it needs to start with the “Man in the Mirror”.

Often his love for other people and others problems will leave you “Speechless” quite literally, that’s Michael Jackson to me. When every time i wanted to jump off a railway track on to an oncoming train and end it all somewhere, something that i heard last night on tape would stop you from irrationality and make you keep going no matter what.

Of course If you are just pissed off and want to find out “Why you wanna trip on me” or just “Scream” and say “They don’t really care about us” when the whole system comes crashing on you, you could always say “Leave me alone” and get out of it. A song for everything, every emotion, every situation, every moment of your life.. its all a song. That’s Michael Jackson. Of course there is this perfectionist and this performer in him like no other. When you watch a young African-American from the most lowest sections of the society grown up on stage and become the biggest phenomenon in the entertainment industry, having someone like that as your role model never hurts. I think its one of the possible factors of my success today, i’ve looked up to people who were born genius and i’ve tried to do achieve what they tried to in my own way. Of course i’ve failed miserably many a times but its never made me stop trying and i guess i’ve at least gotten somewhere.

Today is possibly by far the most bitter day in my life since my grand fathers death. Words fail me when i try tell how much of a personal loss it is to see the most inspiring personality of your life, the biggest motivational factor you ever had pass away. I’ve been so busy onsite with a client i did not read the news or check twitter. When a friend messaged me i was irritated, trust me i’ve heard atleast 500 such “Michael Jackson is dead” hoax messages. Unfortunately, today was bitter reality.

I know i will pick myself up, lick my wounds and move on.. life moves on but life is never going to be the same again. I would just like to say Michael Jackson was the most significant and the most beautiful thing that ever happened to me. Life is a compromise, i’m never going to meet the idol i admired for all these years. This is not the first compromise i’m making though but its possibly the most painful one.

You will be missed Michael, i’m sure everytime i see cheap acts imitate you on screen or some punk rips off your music back here in india, your memory will never die in me and the millions of others that you’ve touched in a way words fail to explain.

Tags: condolence, funeral, Michael Jackson, mourning, tribute
Posted in crib, emotions, happenings, incident, personal, story, world affairs | 2 Comments »

Brahmin Bastards? Thank you Indian Politics.

Written by Dilip Muralidaran on April 25, 2009 – 8:42 pm -

Attended a Wedding of a close friends sister. Anglo-Indian Wedding, had much fun. Drank wine, ate cake, good food. What more does one want in life?

Of course met two of my friends from my first job whom i’ve not seen for ages. All 4 of us i.e., my friend [friend#3] (who’s sister was getting married) then my other two friends and myself were standing in the queue to meet the couple, wish them and leave for food.

General vetty discussion goes on. Suddenly discussion is like between the 3 of them. What was i doing? As usual gaping at the colorful disco lights & regretting why i did not bring my camera. So the conversation is like…

Friend#1: “Fuck this dude, once upon a time Anglo-Indians used to be respected like shit man!”

Friend#2: Yeah man, every where i see i could only see Anglo-Indians. Nowadays though its so hard to spot an Anglo-Indian.

(I’m stupified by how everyone wants to see people from their community all over the place and if they don’t they feel victimized and offended, sigh!)

Friend#1: Yeah man, all because of these Brahmin bastards (or i heard bitches?)

…uncomfortable silence from all 3 and i jump into the scene…

I try to lighten up the situation.

Me: Guys, i just heard Brahmin, i was not sure if it was bitches or whores? Nevertheless, im an atheist mother fucker. Why do i even give a fuck.

Friend#3: Sorry dude, no offense meant.

Friend#2: Yeah dude, Varun Gandhi is a fucking dick head.

Friend#1: Yeah man, BJP sucks. Congress is secular given any day compared to anyone.

Me: Yes, the congress is just as secular as much as im gonna pull a monkey out of my ass now.

 

***laughs out from all, we shift topic to hot women on the dance floor***

I don’t know why i felt to post this. In fact after typing so much i feel this post has no direction except the fact that im once again realizing, we as indians are so fucking divided. I have this feeling that we shall never come together and we shall never move forward. My doubts are being re-assured when i go out of india and see how people are committed to the law and order situation and how sincere they are in what they do.

Fuck all Brahmins, yes they are bastards. They rode on the sudhra’s ass for 1000’s of years brutally, bitches. No questions when it comes to that but then was it only the Brahmins who did that? What about the portugese slaughter of brahmins in the olden days, what about the massacre of sikhs across this nation when indira gandhi was killed, what about the genocide of pundits in kashmir?

I’m extremely disappointed today, that’s all i can say. We’re divided and we’re divided like hell and there ain’t no fixing this shit if people don’t start using some common sense. I’m very very disappointed. Christians hate brahmins, Muslims Hate Brahmins, Hindu non brahmins hate brahmins and what about brahmins?

Brahmins hate everybody..

Tags: anglo-indian, brahmins, conversation, religious bullshit, talk, Wedding
Posted in country, crib, daily life, happenings, incident, opinion, personal, rantings | 70 Comments »

Spiritual but not religious?

Written by Dilip Muralidaran on October 17, 2008 – 12:57 am -

I come across this often in social networking sites. As an atheist / rational person i fail to understand the meaning of this terminology.

No offense but what is spiritual? Spiritual, the world indicates it probably has something to do with the spirit, right? Okay, so lets consider this "Spiritual" word as an adjective and look-up Merriam Webster’s. Here is what i got…

spir·i·tu·al   

Pronunciation: \?spir-i-ch?-w?l, -i-ch?l, -ich-w?l\

Function: adjective

Etymology: Middle English, from Anglo-French & Late Latin; Anglo-French espirital, spiritual, from Late Latin spiritualis, from Latin, of breathing, of wind, from spiritus

Date: 14th century

1: of, relating to, consisting of, or affecting the spirit : incorporeal <spiritual needs>
2 a: of or relating to sacred matters <spiritual songs> b: ecclesiastical rather than lay or temporal <spiritual authority> <lords spiritual>
3: concerned with religious values
4: related or joined in spirit <our spiritual home> <his spiritual heir>
5 a: of or relating to supernatural beings or phenomena b: of, relating to, or involving spiritualism : spiritualistic

So it looks like im quite right. Something that has to do with the Spirit. I so hate to do this because now we have to find out what the heck a SPIRIT is. So lets look back at Merriam Webster’s again. We will look at the first two since we will speak in context of what we are discussing here

spir·it

Pronunciation: \?spir-?t\

Function: noun

Etymology: Middle English, from Anglo-French or Latin; Anglo-French, espirit, spirit, from Latin spiritus, literally, breath, from spirare to blow, breathe

Date: 13th century

1: an animating or vital principle held to give life to physical organisms
2: a supernatural being or essence: as acapitalized : holy spirit b: soul 2a c: an often malevolent being that is bodiless but can become visible ; specifically : ghost 2 d: a malevolent being that enters and possesses a human being

NOTE: If your definition of spiritual is like the Einstein’ian way of poetically calling nature as spirit then read no more. You have nothing to do with this blog. If your definition of spirit deals with your love for the biological process of evolution then your poetry is welcome, regardless of me agree’ing with it or not. We are not talking about poetic spiritual references, we are dealing with religion and supernatural claims. 

So the question is, who has seen a spirit? How can the spirit be contained or evidenced or  quantified or qualified to be a spirit? What does the spirit comprise of? What are the physical and chemical properties of the spirit? Is the spirit of a human being different from that of a cat’s? If so what are the biological differences between the spirit of a cat and a human being?

Unless and until i get completely honest, logically and scientifically acceptable answers i shall declare this:-

Those who make statements such as "Spiritual but not religious" are nothing but being pussies. Spiritual and Religious mean the same rubbish and there is no difference really, i mean if one of the interpretations can be Ghost, you sure can bet the term Ghost did not come from the study of the Quantum Theory.

There is no medical term that talks about rescuing the spirit. Doctors save lives. If the spirit is the most important thing that gives life to a body then the spirit is the life, life is not the real life that makes us a lively person. All we need to do is save the spirit so that we can transplant it to another body or perhaps repair a damaged body or perhaps even cryogenically freeze it so that we can re-introduce the spirit into it and give it life once the body is in working condition. How come there is no scientific research in this area if spirit was such an awesome thing?

Let me put it like this. When you believe in something and if you have the nerve you have to stand up for it. For example, i’m an atheist. I stand up for the belief that there’s nothing supernatural in this world. I will stand up for this fact unless and until someone proves me wrong by providing…

(a) scientific evidence
(b) testable means to prove the evidence
(c) peer review within a scientific community relevant to the discussion

So let me ask all the moderates here to stop being cowards. Please just declare you are indeed religious. Why hide behind the curtains of ambiguation to save yourselves from being mocked at for being plain stupid? You cannot even provide excuse stating you are deist because they do not believe in supernatural claims either. Certainly not spirit or souls. So for one last time can i request the real slim shady please stand up, stop being a mouse and act like a normal human being with a little bit of self respect and stand up for what you believe in, rather than hide behind the cover of moderate terminology to appear like you are smart and secular when you actually are not.

The only difference between religious and spiritual is this. Religious people don’t care if they are stupid. They know it already and they rely on faith, in other words some garble written 2000 years ago about how to cut your raped house maid into 12 pieces and distribute it across town to clean yourself off an evil spirit. They are here to hurt other people, they want to reject knowledge, understanding and prefer to live in the stone ages. You on the other hand, the ’spiritual person’ (or the moderate) realize you are stupid when you say you are religious. Why not be honest and accept the fact you don’t want that crutch called religion and for once in your life, you can think of your own and act with morals based on your logical and rational judgement. Come out of it, spi
ritual is just a better way of saying "I’m still religious and don’t want to come out of it but then please don’t call me stupid for being so because im just to scared to face reality and take it like a man."

In a way religious people at least have the nerve to accept who they are and stand up for their beliefs which spiritual people (or moderates) lack. So much for trying to be nice.

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Posted in atheism, crib, debate, opinion, personal, rantings, religion | 4 Comments »

I love my balls, seriously!

Written by Dilip Muralidaran on October 9, 2008 – 3:06 am -

I happen to subscribe to the National Geographic RSS feeds and today i came upon something awesome.

Before i tell you what it is, let me tell you a little bit of a story.

There once lived in the world where secular scientists and normal people who do not hallucinate about imaginary shit bags in the sky telling you when to put your crotch into what and where. These people came up with a discovery called stem cells. Without going into technical details much, in simple and crisp terminology stem cells help us understand the human cell structure and germ therapy better, thereby enabling us to find possible cures to aids, cancer and such likely other deadly disease that wreak havoc on human kind.

However there were a few sects of people called Catholics, Muslims, Hindus and Jews who believed in a imaginary entity whom no one has ever seen. He is called GOD. Now this god mother fucker who does not exist in the first place apparently put some shit called soul into an embryo when the man told the woman "honey, i was about to pull out but i cummed too fast, sorry!" and the woman had a swelling in her tummy three months later.

Now this embryo of course was voluntarily donated by nice minded and good hearted humans but then the imaginary "Soul" entity happened to have life in it and using it to do stem cell research was considered a blasphemy, a term religious fucktards use when science beats the fucking shit out of religion and god every other time and they have no evidence to prove religion right and science wrong. In other words, we call that "Appeal to Authority". "You should not do that! Why? Because you should not!" Typical Crap, accusing people who want to save lives as murderers and then calling upon Jihad because you can have 7 virgin pussies to lick for yourselves in heaven when you die.

Now the good news is, we can extract stem cells from guess what? Human testicles and this technology will be mainstream before i smash the mosquito on my hand that sucking on by blood right now.

My curiosity is, are the Catholics gonna look for every other masturbating man and hold his cum on their hands and put it in a plastic container and cryogenically freeze the man’s juice because each one of those 40 million sperms per cubic milli litre of semen is a potential life? Wow, i’m so deviously happy because i kill about 4 billion people in my shower everyday while i jerk off to the thought of me caressing some good pam anderson lee tits.

Nice try god, we’re gonna fix cancer, AIDS and what not with stem cell research in the future and miracle working televangelist’s like Benny Hinn can to take a hike. What next? Masturbating is the sole evil that is causing Global Warming? Sure, bring it on. We’re never tired of beating the shit out of you mother fuckers. Like this one, you will be in jail soon.

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Posted in atheism, christianity, crib, debate, funny, politics, religion, science, secularism, story, world affairs | 1 Comment »

Kela

Written by Dilip Muralidaran on October 5, 2008 – 4:27 pm -

Found this on Vikrams Flickr Stream. God damn, we’re a country that never utters the word "sex" and im supposed to believe this shit? And look, katrina kaif in it too! WTF!

Posted in comedy, crib, daily life, flickr, funny | No Comments »

Reality Bites!

Written by Dilip Muralidaran on October 2, 2008 – 1:46 am -

Apparently the latest publicity stunt is recruiting Kapil Dev into the Indian Army. Captain Suresh pinged me on this.

Right after a great party at a club in a happy mood i find this news a bit inspiring and pissing me off at the same time. Kapil Dev wants to serve in the army, wow! Nice read, call it a publicity stunt which it fucking is, its still nice to hear and is inspiring.

On the flip side, we have screwed our soldiers so much in the Sixth Pay Commision. We have treated them so shoddily that we need celebrity stunts to inspire people to serve in the army. I met a friend today evening who works for the hotel industry and he was telling me how Malaysian Tamil’s crib about who will change this country for the better and how they feel its an impossible task.

I feel for once he is right. For a country that cannot respect the guys and gals who are waiting for the bullet to their head, india is fucked.

Today is October 2nd. I gladly say "Fuck off" india. i’m tired of your indian’ism.

Posted in country, crib, debate, emotions, incident, opinion, personal, politics | 2 Comments »

Vaiko Meets Obama, makes pictures to prove it too!

Written by Dilip Muralidaran on August 21, 2008 – 11:13 pm -

Photo Credit: Shekhar Krishnan

Apparently Vaiko thinks none of us read the newspapers or do not know who Barrack Obama is. Its either than or he was smoking ACID when he asked for this posted to be printed.

For my dear Caucasian, African-American, Latino, Spanish, French, European, Hispanic and whatever the race from you are and if you do not know who Vaiko is, take it from me with faith. He is an asshole. For starters he supports the LTTE and then the list is endless.

Apparently vaiko met obama in Chicago when he was in one of his official visits to the US of A blowing our indian middle class tax money. Now the trouble is, indian people are hard to convince on some of this shit and hence vaiko did the obvious. Guess what? Yes, he made the picture himself.

Posted in barrack obama, comedy, crib, daily life, flickr, funny, india, politics, statement, story, street photography, world affairs | 4 Comments »

Words of Wisdom - #1

Written by Dilip Muralidaran on August 21, 2008 – 3:10 pm -

Dilip says "the day nobody honks like they’re cumming at the speed of light when the traffic signal counts under 12 for green, that day india is civilized."

Posted in comedy, country, crib, daily life, funny, india, opinion, personal | 1 Comment »