#msnarainishot
Written by Dilip Muralidaran on March 1, 2010 – 4:26 pm -Okay, it all started like this. Narain was on twitter and apparently some gay guy found him irresistibly hot and tweeted out the below…
So some gay guy was troubling narain on twitter spamming him much.
This lead to that and finally we all decided that narain was just too hot for all gay guys in chennai and so was the hashtag #msnarainishot born. From this a few specks of gem were spewed out from various juntha in twitter. Here are some of them masterpieces…
Ratzz
@msnarain nvr needs a woolen clothing. #msnarainishot
@msnarain nvr gets to enjoy ‘cool’ drinks, coz #msnarainishot
Guys and Girls will be hunting for the lotion so that they can be safe while they are with @msnarain #msnarainishot
why dint @msnarain’s folks buy a microwave? coz #msnarainishot
why did voltas ac sales go up suddenly?? Coz #msnarainishot
why cant we ever have winter olympics in chennai, Coz #msnarainishot
why did rajinikanth say Okay Buddy Cool in sivaji? coz #msnarainishot
Ratzzz switched off the fan to conserve energy then turned it on as #msnarainishot
Surajram Kumaravel
Okay. My server has crashed. Evidently cause #msnarainishot
Radio Mirchi is trying to rope in @msnarain as their brand ambassador. #msnarainishot
Dilip
chatti is called pot, maattikina ur caught. pullikky peru dot, olagathukke theriyum #msnarainishot
the cia has agents out in the field to kill @msnarain & arrest global warming. why? cuz #msnarainishot
theriyalenna kekkanum what? vayasu pasanga sight adipaanga lot, spam panna use pannu bot, global warming is proof #msnarainishot
war is always fought, lessons are always taught. fishes are always caught, everybody says #msnarainishot
era theva yeni, thannikku hindi’la paani. gudurai is called pony, #msnarainishot moodikinu po nee!
election vandha podanum vote’u, ragam therinja padanum paatu. address solla theriyanum route’u, ellarum sollunga #msnarainishot ‘u.
paduthu thoonga thevai cot, figure’a thallinu poga find a spot. meendhu pona biryani will rot, i dont care what u say #msnarainishot
Tags: friends, funny, gay, humour, joke, Narain, Twitter
Posted in Twitter, daily life, friends, funny | 1 Comment »
Valentines Day, the T. Rajendar Way!
Written by Dilip Muralidaran on February 14, 2010 – 2:54 pm -Me and my friend Reva had some real flow today in writing kavidhai for valentines day. Here are some of them gems. Juntha belonging to the Amitus Abeyaarus species please excuse! 
Mine:
figurea paatha adikkarathu whistle, mama rounds’la oodhuradhu bigil. kalyanathula adikkarthu thavil, figure annana paartha onakkulla oru thigil
figure’a madikka venum thillu, over’a vida koodathathu jollu. aunty savagasam is always lollu, sama tight aga adikkanum 1 full’u!
nadaka udhavum kaalu, innaikku seththa nalaikku paalu, figure kitta udaatha noolu, pickup, drop & escape idea dhool’u!
enga ooru figure ellam bore’u, jaliya irukka kudikkanum beer’u, kudichittu otta koodathu car’u, otti idichiputta ur behind bar’u!
vaanathula parakkuthu kaaka, valentines day’nna joke’a? ethir veetula ponnu irukku sokka, adha ushaar pannu nee innikku nekka!
hello FM oru radio, adhu vara format audio, adhanoda producer oru lady’o, pottu thallara alavukku neenga enna periya kediyo?
thakkali chediyoda height oru adi, pulla illathava oru maladi, vesham seyya venum arali, en peru @trajendar naan oru karadi!
kathalukku illai kannu, kannu munnu theriyaama sight adikkaravan nenjellam aagum punnu
kaathalukku thevai oru ponnu, kathalukku illa kannu, ithu puriyathavan mandayila irukkarathu mannu!
payasam saapida thevai thonnai, thamizhnadu pesa solludhu ennai, thamizh urasuthu onnai, ippadi enna imsai panra nee vennai!
nelathulla podaradhu veli, kennathula podarathu vaali, original illena athu poli, kaathali manaiva aga nee kattanum thaali
sound comes out of mouth = talk, silently follow girl = stalk. talk = vaazhkai padi, stalk = pombala police thadiyala sema adi
dont interupt my flow, my knowledge will glow, mess with me my hand comes down on u with a mighty blow! @trajendar
Reva: (Kris Iyer is Reva’s Valarnthu Ketta Boss )
enaikum kelu "nee yaaru", rediyaaru, chetiyaaru, samiyaaru pannayaaru, kothanaaru, ayyanaaru, idu sonnadu yaru namma TR-u (via Kris)
valekka pona kadaikkum kaasu, summa iruntha neeyoru loosu, eniyum, kuduppaen nalla dosu, inimael karadi than tamizh bossu (via Kris)
summa kedachcha athuku paeru free, kayum kaniyum irunda, athukku peru tree, kathal mattum panni paaru nee, Its like dosaikku chutney
innaikku saappitta thaan cake-ka, athila icing naekka nokka kooda kudikka enna Coke-a?, summa enjoy pannu sokka! (by KrisIyer)
Moonjileh irukkudhu mooku, paati vaayileh irukkudhu paaku, vadivelu top strong, basement weak-ku, Innaikku kedachidhu Vday Cake-ku!
Naanga poadurom paatu, Adhuleh varum semma beat-tu, Ingeh Music-ku illeh pootu, Adha keakkadhavanukku irukku vayttu!
Happy Valentines Day All!
Tags: 2010, funny, humour, Karadi, Kavidhai, Lousy Stuff, T. Rajendar, Valentines Day
Posted in funny | 3 Comments »
Steve Jobs uses Toilet paper!
Written by Dilip Muralidaran on April 13, 2009 – 6:32 pm -Interestingly after the exciting news that Steve Jobs though on medical leave is running Apple from home, it looks like there is no stopping for Mr. Jobs and Apple Inc.
In an unprecedented manner the new piece of information that has hit today on the news stands has sent shock waves through the media world and shaking ground up the apple fan community.
Yes, its official. Steve Jobs uses toilet paper after taking a dump. The information was leaked when the man himself ordered environmental friendly, bio-degradable toilet paper that was delivered right at his doorstep by Amazon at a special discount price of USD $2.99 per wipe.
Mr. Jobs confesses that toilet paper maybe more expensive than water but then its all about the experience and the stability that matters. When you see the scum on paper and you know you’re getting what you are paying for. Mr. Jobs also accused people who use water need to shut their windows down and forget the narrow view of the world, open the doors and get out and take a bite of that forbidden fruit to know what reality is.
It is estimated that the stock price of toilet paper companies would go up by 350% and stocks aren’t going to last long since people have already been spotted outside wallmart & Ikea stores frantically typing on their iPhones calling friends to embrace the supremacy of personal hygiene, the toilet paper.
Twitter has complained that its server’s are being abused by iPhone apps in the last 24 hours ever sense this news about Jobs running apple from home and his using toilet paper has been leaked and hashtags such as #jobs #wfh #homework #appleisgod #jobsischrist #toiletpaperisyummy have all registered approximately 45 million hit counts.
Facebook is considering disabling all groups and applications relating to apple and Mr. jobs, in order to survive through this ordeal of information overload this kind of news leaks that seem to bring cyber space to a grinding halt.
P.S: The above news article is NOT true in any manner whatsoever. Mac fan boys can chill out and have a good laugh like those Mac vs. PC ads makes you laugh. Neither is this article intended to insult or abuse any person, company or service in any manner whatsoever nor is it intended to represent anyone in any context. Its purely satire and comedy
Tags: apple, comedy, funny, joke, mac, steve jobs, uses toilet paper
Posted in comedy, funny, humour | 2 Comments »
GTA 6 - Dravida Edition
Written by Dilip Muralidaran on January 13, 2009 – 12:10 am -Yuvipanda and Surajram started this entire stuff. Random bitching about other people bitching on boybands and girlbands. Finally it landed in GTA via michael jackson. I’m just gonna add to more ideas from this perspective.
We’ve all played Grand Theft Auto and many of us know how famous the GTA 4 version of the game is. Well, what if the next version of GTA was decided to have its roots in tamil nadu? What would game play be like? How would missions compare to the ones in the previous versions where you are the bad guy and do lots of stuff. Lets try and visualize some of them…
Mission #1: Rush through mount road traffic and beat the crowd and get a first day, first show ticket for Rajini padam release in Sri Brindha theatre, madhavaram
Mission #2: Gather 20000 people for a katchi meeting for least amount of money and biriyaani packets and ensure all of them clap every 2 minutes.
Mission #3: Stick aalum katchi posters in ethir katchi area sevuru without getting caught by ethir katchi area pasanga. (maatina dunguvaaru aruthuruvaanga :P)
Mission #4: Drive a two wheeler without helmet after 25th of a month in mount road under the condition that you don’t get caught by mama under gemini fly-over or near the SBI, thousand lights branch.
Mission #5: Spend 30 crore rupees in 30 days. You can buy assets, accumulate wealth but only condition is you should not take auto for oor suththifying chennai (this one is tough nuts to crack!)
Mission #6: Drive thanni lorry from Jamalia to padi under the condition you wash the roads by leaking water all along, yet have enough left water so that bubleec does not find out & you dont kill people on the way by running them over.
Mission #7: Skillfully tailgate a speeding ambulance thereby skipping signals and breaking traffic rules at peak hour traffic in the city. Avoid getting crushed by other speeders tailgating you or you yourself manna kavving after getting distracted by matter padam posters on road side sevuru.
Mission #8: Avoid using any of the golden words like “o.”, “the…”, “poo..”, “la…” when speaking with area pasanga in nochikuppam. Minimum conversation duration is about 20 seconds.
Mission #9: Eat maximum number of Bajji’s by sandwiching them in between news paper and pressing to skillfully as to not to damage the bajji but extract all oil from it. (Caution: Each ML of oil will reduce life by 2%.) Then sell the left over oil for a good price in a nearby annachi kadai for funding sarakku + side dish that evening in tasmac.
Mission #10: Become a ko pa se for a political party and convince people that your thaleevar first claimed to be the indian obama and so he is definitely the indian obama.
Mission #11: Direct the maximum number of mega serials and use tears collected from thamizh makkal in prime time and store it in retteri and puzhaleri tank. De-salinate and treat the water and use that water to solve tamilnadu water crisis.
Mission #12: Collect mammool from everyone in town and divert funds recieved to all poly tasions in thamizh nadu. Distribute funds in direct proportion to measurement of pregnant pot bellys of ettu. Earn commision in this process.
Limited Edition CD Bonus Missions:
Bonus Mission #13: Build as many road side temples as possible and vasool pannify from them undiyals as much as you can. Start a TV channel with such money made through instant platform kovils.
Bonus Mission #14: Telecast useless dance programs, “manam thirandhu pesugiraar, vijay” kind of interviews, skewed news giving head count on ethir katchi thaleevars samsaaram and other mini minsaarams that he has. Use this popularity to contest and win elections or better collect nivaarana nidhi for a calamity that does not exist.
Thats it for now folks, if you have more though, please feel free to add it in the comments section.
Posted in funny, opinion | 3 Comments »
Immanuel is a Pundai
Written by Dilip Muralidaran on October 27, 2008 – 2:45 am -No, we are not swearing at somebody here. Not certainly me. This post is merely an inspiration from this post. I was tempted to write. Immanuel was our School math teacher during 9th and 10th grade. Immanuel master was special. Why? Because the kids knew how to pass a math exam. He taught tuition classes that costs you Rs. 80 per month and if you went for those classes it means you get a guaranteed 40% and pass the math exam. Not just that, he was sight adchifying the cute 18 year old french teacher, whom most of the kids in the class were sight adchifying too.
Nevertheless the point of this post is not about Mr. Immanuel our math teacher or his sex somersaults but its about toilets. Yes, toilets in the school. Wait, i know you wan’t to know what it has to do with the title. Allow me to explain.
"Immanuel is a Pundai" was the most scribbled text in all toilet wall’s in the school. Of course, other teachers having sex with weird unexplainable things and being castrated or crucified in horrendous ways were also a vital part of the loo art that you would find in these toilets but Immanuel master topped the hate list followed by our biology teacher susan rajan who was precariously described as slime. Why? Because she was the only person on earth who would eat with her right hand and dissect a cockroach off the left, peel things off it and explain things to students will she munched food in her mouth. Brilliant! Yes, she was!
Of course, we had Miss Sheela Christopher who was our Chemistry teacher. I’m not sure how good her chemistry was but her language was pathetic. She always used to point out to our unruly class leader and yell "munnadi pora yeruma maadu ozhunga ner kodula pona than, pinnadi vara yeruma maadu ellam ozhunga ner kottula nadakkum" and she added "munnala pora yeruma maede seri illa, pinnala vara erumaigalellam enna pannum?". Of course, she was promptly rewarded with fantastic pictures of her riding yeruma maadu’s in the nude and also giving birth to a yeruma kannu kutti. Utter genius in artistic expression. I remember winning 4 rangoli competitions in school successively from 7th - 10th grade during the childrens day festival and project days/exhibition. If only the judges visited the toilets to see the art on the wall, i swear i would not have had a chance in the remote possibilities of planet earth.
I studied in a "All Boys" school till 10th grade. The world famous in perambur "St. Mary’s Matriculation Boys Higher Secondary School" and all of our school toilets were famous and had so much culture and history as much as our school did. Everyday we failed to do homework and we had to kneel down outside class and the cute french miss walked by laughing at us we would rush to the toilet to draw such weird things of the oppressing teacher of that particular period, what awesome a way it was to take it out on them. It was a fantastic channel because the staff toilet which was close to the staff room was cleaned on an hourly basis and kept well compared to the students toilet which was cleaned only when there was a cholera break out amongst school kids, housed in the classes close to the toilet.
To start with, none of the toilets had doors. Yes, no kidding! Im not talking about urinals where you stand and take a piss, im talking about toilets where you squat. No doors, the school management believed doors were too much of an expense and we were "just kids" and deserved no privacy even while taking a shit. Nevertheless, no sane person in their realistic senses would ever go shit there and most of us never did with one or two of those weirdo kids who found these places habitable. We stayed away from those folks all the time, we knew they were of an elite kind. In fact when a kid goes to the toilet we know of what hard bound stuff they are made of and finally they get elected to be School Pupil Leader (SPL) and Assistant SPL. That was our test, the ultimate one that makes you SPL.
To conclude, i would kindly request we relocate all teaching activity in toilets because i think that is the only place where young boys have the utmost concentration and intense dedication when it comes to doing some work. Look at those drawings, breathtaking! I mean, sometimes i used to see women with so many tits, i could not even count them with my poor math skills. Some sex positions were so impossible, if not innovative, they would beat the crap out of kama sutra. I think what we should have is a public addressable system with isolated toilets with walls to separate each kid. This teacher can speak over the mic and deliver the lecture material via the speakers installed in each kuckoose and you will see the artistic potential of each and every kid revealed to the best possible extent.
I also suggest we fire all these useless old blokes and hire chick 18 year olds as teachers (like our french teacher) and ensure that in this way the students behave themselves and look their best and the teacher has the complete attention and control of the class. I think this is the best formula for any boys school. I hope St. Mary’s school is listening.
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Posted in comedy, daily life, funny, humour, incident, opinion, personal, rantings, school, short story | 5 Comments »
The Chronicles of Nara…
Written by Dilip Muralidaran on October 24, 2008 – 11:44 pm -Due to excessive pressure and request from Daksha, im posting the image and the story behind these. See this comment here for some background on this. Infact narain endorses these words himself.
????? ????? ??????? ?????????? ???????, bleady dawg
Vishwa likes peacock feather’s much, narain says. This is a posed one thats made to looks like its not been posed at all. Natural things are vishwa’s fav.
Thinking of Vishwa, eternal love is special a feeling…. those moments… that voice, those memories….
This is how vishwa hugs you, (kaathal sadu gudu song playing in the background). and your heart goes like mid 80’s ilayaraja movie music background… “than thana than thana than thana than thana than thana hey!”
If you wanna get the feel of how this would feel, then watch the video below…
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Posted in comedy, daily life, flickr, friends, funny, humour, story, world affairs | 9 Comments »
A handbook of exceptional quick lies
Written by Dilip Muralidaran on October 15, 2008 – 7:37 pm -Yes, exclusively for the Indian family as well. Are you anything post 13 and below 30? Are you Single? Are you the one who happens to have girl friends? Are you the one that happens to be from a conservative tambram, catholic or muslim family? Do you find it painful to find explanations everytime you step out of the house?
Well if you have been answering yes to atleast 2 of the above questions then you are in deep shit?
Does it take impossible amounts of convincing to get your girl friend out of the house and in the last minute she banks out and excuse’s herself "parents won’t allow me to go out in weekends" sort of unbelievable shit!
Well wonder no more. The answers to your prayers are right here. I shall soon come up with a paperback book called "A handbook of exceptional quick lies". 20000 right lies you can fling right out of your pocket and not only get out of your house post 7 PM. Not only that, this WILL get your girl friends out too! Yes, its true and its time tested and it hardly fails.
For example, you plan a night show movie with a gang of friends at work. Living in chennai or any city for that matter you know how hard it is to get evening show or matinee tickets. Now your gal friends wont come out of the home because anything post 7 PM is taboo.
Well here is the deal. Call your girl friends Landline number. As always her dad, the bloody villain will pick up the phone. Now quickly tell her dad "Hello uncle, how are you? I’m fine. I could not reach sheetals mobile so called the land line. Can you take a message?"
At this point of time the curious bastard will be more than happy to know what the hell you are going to tell his beautiful daughter. Now comes your nuke…
"Please ask sheetal to get the Black Mamba Project report for the meeting with Vice president we have tonight at 9 AM PST"
Now her dad is like "What meeting? She never told me?"
"Oh yes uncle, we have a performance review meeting and our team has won the award for the best performance for this quarter. We may probably get a pay hike if we impress the VP in the meeting with our presentation and sheetal has done all the ground work."
Two things. Daughter will probably get a pay hike, daughter may get an award. This sucker will do anything to get his daughter to go to office.
Infact you can also use this opportunity to go pick up your girl friend from her house since it will be late in the night.
Imagine this, 8 pm pick-up from home. Dinner + movie at 10.45 pm and then go clubbing at 3 AM after the movie and back home by 6 am next morning.
The only small downside is you need to wear formal clothes when you start out of the house. That’s okay. We are all used to carrying different set of clothes and changing in the restroom. Women are experts at this and you can take advise from your girl friend.
This is just ONE EXAMPLE, one of the more inefficient ways to get the girl friend out and you out of the house. Imagine how the super efficient ones that are available only when you buy the book, would sound like. Buy my book and you have 19,999 more of this wonderful treasure of knowledge.
So hang tight and watch this space. Arriving in a blog near you….
As for NRI folks, dont worry. Amazon deals are underway to sell atleast 87 million copies in the USA and Europe alone.
Bookmark:
Posted in comedy, daily life, friends, funny, happenings, idea, india, short story, story | No Comments »
Barrack, before & after the Debate
Written by Dilip Muralidaran on October 15, 2008 – 12:30 am -
Awesome Video. If Obama wins then this guy will have an awesome career.
This guy is just awesome.
Bookmark:
Posted in barrack obama, debate, funny, humour, opinion, personal, politics, review, short story, world affairs | No Comments »
The Excuse
Written by Dilip Muralidaran on October 14, 2008 – 10:12 pm -
Bookmark :
Posted in funny, humour, personal, short story, story | 5 Comments »
I love my balls, seriously!
Written by Dilip Muralidaran on October 9, 2008 – 3:06 am -I happen to subscribe to the National Geographic RSS feeds and today i came upon something awesome.
Before i tell you what it is, let me tell you a little bit of a story.
There once lived in the world where secular scientists and normal people who do not hallucinate about imaginary shit bags in the sky telling you when to put your crotch into what and where. These people came up with a discovery called stem cells. Without going into technical details much, in simple and crisp terminology stem cells help us understand the human cell structure and germ therapy better, thereby enabling us to find possible cures to aids, cancer and such likely other deadly disease that wreak havoc on human kind.
However there were a few sects of people called Catholics, Muslims, Hindus and Jews who believed in a imaginary entity whom no one has ever seen. He is called GOD. Now this god mother fucker who does not exist in the first place apparently put some shit called soul into an embryo when the man told the woman "honey, i was about to pull out but i cummed too fast, sorry!" and the woman had a swelling in her tummy three months later.
Now this embryo of course was voluntarily donated by nice minded and good hearted humans but then the imaginary "Soul" entity happened to have life in it and using it to do stem cell research was considered a blasphemy, a term religious fucktards use when science beats the fucking shit out of religion and god every other time and they have no evidence to prove religion right and science wrong. In other words, we call that "Appeal to Authority". "You should not do that! Why? Because you should not!" Typical Crap, accusing people who want to save lives as murderers and then calling upon Jihad because you can have 7 virgin pussies to lick for yourselves in heaven when you die.
Now the good news is, we can extract stem cells from guess what? Human testicles and this technology will be mainstream before i smash the mosquito on my hand that sucking on by blood right now.
My curiosity is, are the Catholics gonna look for every other masturbating man and hold his cum on their hands and put it in a plastic container and cryogenically freeze the man’s juice because each one of those 40 million sperms per cubic milli litre of semen is a potential life? Wow, i’m so deviously happy because i kill about 4 billion people in my shower everyday while i jerk off to the thought of me caressing some good pam anderson lee tits.
Nice try god, we’re gonna fix cancer, AIDS and what not with stem cell research in the future and miracle working televangelist’s like Benny Hinn can to take a hike. What next? Masturbating is the sole evil that is causing Global Warming? Sure, bring it on. We’re never tired of beating the shit out of you mother fuckers. Like this one, you will be in jail soon.
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Posted in atheism, christianity, crib, debate, funny, politics, religion, science, secularism, story, world affairs | 1 Comment »