Science | Dilip Muralidaran

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I love my balls, seriously!

Written by Dilip Muralidaran on October 9, 2008 – 3:06 am -

I happen to subscribe to the National Geographic RSS feeds and today i came upon something awesome.

Before i tell you what it is, let me tell you a little bit of a story.

There once lived in the world where secular scientists and normal people who do not hallucinate about imaginary shit bags in the sky telling you when to put your crotch into what and where. These people came up with a discovery called stem cells. Without going into technical details much, in simple and crisp terminology stem cells help us understand the human cell structure and germ therapy better, thereby enabling us to find possible cures to aids, cancer and such likely other deadly disease that wreak havoc on human kind.

However there were a few sects of people called Catholics, Muslims, Hindus and Jews who believed in a imaginary entity whom no one has ever seen. He is called GOD. Now this god mother fucker who does not exist in the first place apparently put some shit called soul into an embryo when the man told the woman "honey, i was about to pull out but i cummed too fast, sorry!" and the woman had a swelling in her tummy three months later.

Now this embryo of course was voluntarily donated by nice minded and good hearted humans but then the imaginary "Soul" entity happened to have life in it and using it to do stem cell research was considered a blasphemy, a term religious fucktards use when science beats the fucking shit out of religion and god every other time and they have no evidence to prove religion right and science wrong. In other words, we call that "Appeal to Authority". "You should not do that! Why? Because you should not!" Typical Crap, accusing people who want to save lives as murderers and then calling upon Jihad because you can have 7 virgin pussies to lick for yourselves in heaven when you die.

Now the good news is, we can extract stem cells from guess what? Human testicles and this technology will be mainstream before i smash the mosquito on my hand that sucking on by blood right now.

My curiosity is, are the Catholics gonna look for every other masturbating man and hold his cum on their hands and put it in a plastic container and cryogenically freeze the man’s juice because each one of those 40 million sperms per cubic milli litre of semen is a potential life? Wow, i’m so deviously happy because i kill about 4 billion people in my shower everyday while i jerk off to the thought of me caressing some good pam anderson lee tits.

Nice try god, we’re gonna fix cancer, AIDS and what not with stem cell research in the future and miracle working televangelist’s like Benny Hinn can to take a hike. What next? Masturbating is the sole evil that is causing Global Warming? Sure, bring it on. We’re never tired of beating the shit out of you mother fuckers. Like this one, you will be in jail soon.

Richard Dawkins Rap - Beware the Believers

Written by Dilip Muralidaran on September 26, 2008 – 11:21 pm -

I’m not sure how many of you have already seen this but even though it insults my hero, richard dawkins this rap is amazing creativity. Check out the Lyrics below..

My name is D to the I to C to the K, Yeah I’m the Dickie D,
I gots my PhD and comin’ your way on the Youtube to bust your world view so just listen to me and don’t you argue.
You see, this battle’s been ragin’ since Zeus was on the bottle, ‘tween Science like Democritus and Faith like Aristotle,
who said the mover was unmovin’ like some magic trick but
that’s no good logic, my posse is far too quick for this
religious shtick.
Cos science is the only way to know y’all, you stand with me y’all, or you can fall y’all
So go ahead and take your pick…

ES: Yeah you tell him Rick …

Darwin: Cos if you don’t know me …

RD: YOU DON’T KNOW DICK!!

Chorus: Yeah he’s the Dick to the Dawk to the PhD,
he’s smarter than you he’s got a science degree!
Yeah he’s the Dick to the Dawk to the PhD,
he’s smarter than you he’s got a science degree!

SH: On the shoulders of midgets we built up this machine

DD: YEAH!!!

RD: Science silenced that watchdog wingnut Paley
growing stronger and harder almost daily, storming Wilber by force as we framed the discourse that faith and science are split in schismatic divorce.
Then Darwin took to the seas to see what no one had seen, and ever since then we’ve been increasingly keen, they may never adore us, but they’ll no longer ignore us,
give it to ‘em PZ hit these BLEEP with the chorus!!!

Chorus: Yeah he’s the Dick to the Dawk to the PhD,
he’s smarter than you he’s got a science degree!
The Dick to the Dawk to the PhD,
he’s still smarter than you he studied biology!
Then there was Darrow dukin’ it out with the straight and the narrow,
a ragin’ bull in the ring, he did his thing, and took it on the chin like he was Bobby De Niro.

We might have lost at Scopes, beaten down by the dopes, and the stooges of popes, but in losin’ we coped, becomin’ more than we hoped, creationists slipped on the soap of their own slippery slope.
What was impossible, improbable, is now wholly unstoppable untoppleable, the Dick Dawk’ll roll up as you creationists foldup
you haters talkin’ bull,
don’t you know that this Dick is un-cock-frickin’ blockable …

Chorus: Yeah he’s the Dick to the Dawk to the PhD,
he’s smarter than you he’s got a science degree!
The Dick to the Dawk to the PhD,
he’s still smarter than you he studied biology!

Now the machine of our making, sees culture ripe for the taking,
Cos I’m the rappinest, rabidest atheist who unlike the Catholic, Muslim or even the Jew, believes that no God but science could ever be true, hell if I was dyslexic I’d even hate "dog" too.
Time to open your eyes, get yourself wise, the age of science will rise to be religion’s demise,
and while you churchies all cry, shouting ‘why God oh why,’ I’ll still be poppin’ my collar earning more dollars than Allah.
Hollah!

Chorus: Yeah he’s the Dick to the Dawk to the PhD,
he’s smarter than you he’s got a science degree!
The Dick to the Dawk to the PhD,
he’s still smarter than you he studied biology!

Posted in atheism, comedy, opinion, politics, religion, science, spoof, video | 1 Comment »

Something’s just make your day..

Written by Dilip Muralidaran on September 11, 2008 – 12:25 am -

Not a very day today since i’ve been in front of the computer preparing for a certification exam tomorrow. Its been quite stressful and tiring. Just when i’m about to hit the sack, i check google and guess what? I find this…

The LHC on googles homepage! Fucking awesome man! I just can’t appreciate the genuine efforts and the commitment to science. I feel like as if google is saying "fuck off" to every other religious fuck in the world.

Go Google!

Posted in atheism, daily life, debate, emotions, opinion, rantings, religion, science, secularism, world affairs | No Comments »

An Account of a Civil Engineering Marvel…

Written by Dilip Muralidaran on July 25, 2008 – 3:06 am -

Have you ever been to historic places in south India and ever wondered why the heck on earth you find so many ugly holes on huge rocks, right next to nice carvings and scriptures? Well if you have the discovery DVD’s and seen it already, good enough. The folks who still have no clue, listen carefully.

The maximum load that you are allowed to transport in the USA by road is about 30 tonnes. Anything more than this requires a license and specialized equipment and of course a lot of things. Now come to India, rewind your time way back to say 3500 B.C or 300 B.C or 700 A.D when most of these huge temples were built. We did not have airplanes, we did not have trucks or cranes to do the job. Nope, god did not do shit as usual, nor did black magic or divine power. Engineering science did the job.

The average weight of each and every rock is about 1300 tonnes and many of them shot past the regular 7000 tonne mark. Now how do you take these rocks up the hill, about 700 meters up the sea level? The simple answer is you gotta break them into pieces and take them, but then how the heck do you break such huge rocks. If your answer was drill and hammer them out, sorry mate, you scored an F (i did too!)

Drilling, hammering et all was time consuming and resourceful and required impossible amount of manpower and horsepower. Explosives are a thing that happened a few hundred years ago and were unheard of during these times. Even if they were available, blasting off mountain rocks meant you could not use them properly and cut it on a shape you wanted them to come out for specific purposes. So, here is what they did.

Instead of breaking the entire rock, they drilled very small holes into them along the line where the rock was meant to be broken. As soon as the holes were drilled, soft pieces of wood was thrust into these holes and the rock was heated so that it would expand (remember the physics lesson, objects expand on heat) and they thrust more soft wood into these holes and sealed them with mud and plastered it with lime. Now pour cold water over it in large quantities, the rock cools down and contracts, however the wood inside absorbs the water and expands due to its soft nature and absorbing characteristic. So rock shrinks, wood enlarges/expands and thereby forces the rock to crack along the lines where the wholes were drilled.

Ta daa! You have a neatly cut rock precise to the line where the engineer drew the line and you could not cut them again into smaller pieces till they could be carried over or carved here for whatever use they were meant to be. That’s exactly how they did it. Engineering freaking genius, 1000’s of years back!

Posted in engineering, flickr, india, science | 1 Comment »