Commitment vs. Experience: A Personal Note
Written by Dilip Muralidaran on May 8, 2010 – 10:06 pm -I know. Its not the usual me to write such mega serial type topics on this blog. People are much used to me bitching about something like religion, technology, politicians & governments. Its okay, for a change lets see if i can say something useful and make sense too without F’ing the hell out of people & things that just turn me off.
Off late i notice around me the amount of failed marriages or relationships are quite staggering. Most of them are the traditional amma appa paathu panni vechcha arranged marriages but love marriages are no exception either. Running around trees, holding hands like as of they were atomically fused from birth and scribbling love notes on facebook & twitter, what not? No difference. Everything is down the drain hole and it seems people get tired off each other quickly.
Now i know what you are expecting. You expect me to say we are not biologically programmed for a one man + one woman relationship, which i will but then I’ve said it already so many times i do not want to repeat myself and sound boring. What I’m about to discuss is the social aspect of a relationship or lets say the courting process in human beings.
Human beings are very different from other animals. The amount of “Social” exercise that we involve in is staggering. Any other biological race that would compete with us in this “social” experience would look like a mole in front of a mountain. It is this “Social” dimension that separates us from the other kind. I fail to understand why or how but somehow we humans seem to be pretty comfortable with a single mate for a lifetime (exceptions are plenty) and we actually progress far better on this scale with even more bio diversity compared to animals that have multiple mates every mating season depending upon capability i.e., fertility, strength, environmental circumstances etc., It is extremely fascinating to see that this single mate ritual is something natural selection has supported and has worked for us pretty well. Yet, we see it slip so easily, it all seems like the probability of a withered petal from a flower tree landing on another petal or in the dirt.
The idea of a one man = one woman is not bad, in fact its good simply because it removes confusion, chaos and violence from the picture. Any race devoid of confusion, chaos & violence will survive better. Its self explanatory why there are close to 7 billion of us today on planet earth. Credit that mostly to do scientific progress but also due to the nature of us becoming less violent by the day. Don’t believe me? Watch the TED video below:
The point here is this. Relationships of today are on the verge of a major evolutionary change. Traditional expectations in a relationship is killing that very relationship.
Due to my lack of knowledge in terms of how relationships work outside of India I’m going to stick purely to Indians and Indian families. The days of “Kall anaalum Kanavan, Pull Anaalum Purushan” is dead. Education & empowerment of women killed it for good. The possibility of the man overpowering the woman is reducing very rapidly by the day and it shows in the amount of divorce applications pending in court and how the numbers almost double every decade. While divorce rates are still the lowest in India (& Sri Lanka) the rate of growth in divorce is not really the lowest. Women are extremely happy to walk out of a bad marriage. Now consider this, if a woman in India can walk out of a marriage which has so much social pressure attached to it, non matrimonial relationships are far more easier to walk out of. The time of the man “keeping the woman” is here. Of course, thanks to the largest genocide on planet earth we Indians are committing openly without any remorse, the gender ratio is as mucked up as it can be compared to anywhere in the world.
People seem to get into relationships initially enthralled by the experience. There is sparks flying everywhere and there is fun and there is romance. None of them care about the commitment portion of it. In my opinion commitment should only come into a relationship on how actively you are trying to engage your love in your life. Expecting to enforce commitment in a relationship is a disaster for any one. This is precisely why relationships fail. There are these imaginary moral values that come from nowhere that dictate how silly fantasies in life can be denied on the basis of commitment.
To me ‘experience’ is like a big beautiful mother hen. The ‘commitment’ thing is like the small chickens that follow the hen. The ‘experience’ is the mother of all things. Wherever it goes, the small chickens of commitment follow. This applies to all relationships, specifically very much to what happens between a man and a woman.
Stopping the rant for a moment, i will say i get so thrilled to be in the presence of people who value the ‘experience’ of the relationship. I have a few cousins, my best friend & another acquaintance i know of that fall perfectly into this category. It is such a harmony when you see them interacting. The best part is they disagree in half the things they come across in life, they could show the middle finger at each other, yet laugh it off right after putting that finger down and figure out what’s best for them. It deeply pains me to say, such relationships/couples are a rare find. Its like browsing through a backup CD that is about 7 years old and finding the DOS version of “Prince of Persia” or “WordStar 4.0”. There is no joy in explaining how wonderful it makes you feel to be around such people.
In layman terminology if i were to equate this with an example its like a man and a woman going to the ice cream parlor and sharing a cone of ice-cream. You walk into the parlor, you buy a cone, any cone and you sit down and finish the cone and walk back home and cuddle into bed. This is the ‘experience’. Now lets revisit the scenario. Man prefers to sit at home and catch up with India vs. Australia T20 match, woman wants to go in for ice-cream post dinner. Man & woman go, woman wants cornetto, man says cornetto sucks and wants feast. Woman complains of sudden cold like symptoms. Neither have ice-cream, rather ‘share’ the ice-cream and come home empty handed.
I know this is not a very good analogy but then i hope you get the drift of what I’m talking about. The moment a man & a woman have nothing to talk about (this includes an argument/disagreement) from then on its all just about commitment. Commitment is like a brick wall. It is static. It expects loyalty & sincerity and does not want to change. Experience is like the bamboo stick. You can bend it to make a roof or stretch it to make a wall lining. Experience always changes, it adapts to situations and people and environment. Experience is all about the moment, commitment is all about keeping the possibility of having these moments forever without ensuring the possibility of such moments to occur in the first place.
I just felt like writing this post today since I’ve been postponing it for almost 3 weeks now. Now that I’ve gotten this out of my head and heart and poured it here i think I’ll lay to rest and hear from you all.
~fin~
Tags: break-ups, commitment, experience, importance, india, Love, personal pinion, relationships, romance
Posted in india, opinion, personal, relationships | 4 Comments »
On Maoists and our strategy handling them…
Written by Dilip Muralidaran on April 10, 2010 – 5:59 pm -Before i proceed I’m going to make certain fundamental declarations on the premise of which this entire argument is going to be. They are:-
1. India as a nation is plagued by problems. The implementation of Law & Order and Civil Justice system is weak, this is a known fact.
2. Governments discriminate against certain sections of the civilian society in every state around the world and India is no different. Such discrimination can be political or could be backed by industrial lobbyists (like manufacturing giants, mining companies etc.,) or religious or cultural/ethnic groups.
3. In such a situation the usual democratic process of protesting, political reform, debate & legal recourse are the way in which deprived societies/ethnic groups come up and repeal their discriminated state. It is agreed that this methodology is not effective and does not always work towards an amicable solution.
4. An attack on a company of CRPF personnel, resulting in killing of almost the entire company is war. Put it in any way you like it, it is war and it requires to be addressed appropriately.
5. No Particular section of the society is to be provided the privilege of taking up arms against the state. If this can be extended to the Maoists then it should be extended to the Muslims for the racial stereotyping, the Brahmins for reverse racism they face, the Christians for the Hindu extremist attacks they are subject to and so on and so forth. Every community is defenseless in its own respect just like the tribal’s and they cannot be compromised. This does not mean people have the right of violence, no one in a democratic state has the right of violence.
6. The are genuine issues the tribal’s have. Land grabbing, ethnic violence/cleansing, forced conversions, rape & plunder by the military and much more all of it is something tribal’s face on an everyday basis. The political forefront of the tribal’s needs to be invited for discussions to address these issues. This is something the state has failed miserably in the past and this requires critical attention.
The Argument
Yes, i believe there should be a tactical all out offensive against the maoist rebels and they need to be put out permanently for the following reasons…
1. The Maoists like any terror group are based on pushing their agenda using Violence. Regardless of what your situation can be, the state will not respond to violence. Violence breeds violence and that’s precisely what maoist or any other violent group will get in return.
2. There is no absolute possibility for a dialogue when violence is involved. In Indira Gandhi’s words, you cannot shake hands with a clenched fist.
3. It is a known documented fact that Tribal’s are NOT able to come out of their habitat and report on Maoists. When they do so their entire villages get raided and massacred by the former. There is no denying this documented fact. This should stop. Maoists clearly are not happy with any anti maoist influences in their audience, this is typical of any militant group.
4. Development efforts can be initiated only in a land where law & order of the state government prevails in a democracy. With maoist’s, law & order is a day dream.
5. The very reason they killed CRPF personnel indicates that the maoist’s are not here to protect the interests of the tribal. Killing cops & civilians is one thing. Killing security personnel is waging war. No democracy should tolerate a group of people inside a country wage war on its own security personnel. The maoist have political agenda’s. While political agenda’s are welcome, enforcing those agenda’s with violence is not.
Use of the Armed forces or Air power:
This is a decision that should be taken with due consideration. Like the Army chief already has said very clearly, the use of army against ones own citizens is the last option but should be considered if at all the situation comes to that.
In a realistic sense, use of force will bring together collateral damage. This is a risk we have to asses and face if required. The argument “How would you feel if the army walked into your house?” is silly.
Of the Army walked into my house i wont stick around. I would get the hell out of my house. The logic is very simple. If i have terrorists hiding in my home discriminating every aspect of my life, i better have a broken house than live with terrorists. The same logic applies to maoist’s & tribal occupations as well.
Long term Solution:
Force is not the only option, it is a part of the over all package. It is the responsibility of the state to analyze the issues facing tribal population & their environment and address those immediately with the highest priority. Simply killing Tribal’s and doing nothing about the underlying problem will only lead to the rise of version 2.0 of a bigger and better maoist group.
Tags: maoist, politics
Posted in country | 9 Comments »
A Miserable fucking existence!
Written by Dilip Muralidaran on April 6, 2010 – 6:18 pm -I was driving home from work, to my cousins place to have dinner with her before i leave for delhi the next day morning. She is here from the USA on a vacation and going back soon. I drove through habibullah road and just as i reach the junction at usman road i see a furry cute little creature run across the road. I know what i saw, a cute grey striped kitten. “how cute” i think and before i knew it there were 3 stray dogs behind it.
The kitten leaped and caught a thin branch near the compound wall of a house. The branch snapped and the kitten swung like spiderman and fell across the road near the road behind the ramp where Vishwak solutions office is. The dogs gave chase, i did. Accelerated the bike to 70, skid hard to my left and stopped and got off the bike. Sharp searing pain on my right hip. I need the crutch. Unstrapped my crutch off my bike and before i knew it i saw two dogs biting into the kittens backbone. Fuck the crutch, i crawled like a baby on the road and yelled at the top of my voice and the dogs backed off a foot.
Went close and saw dog saliva all over the cats fur, it was wet and sticky. No blood but i know the damage was done. The cat had its mouth wide open. Having raised more than 50 cats in my school days i know a cat does not live for long when it has a permanently open mouth and no noise from its mouth. Its the pain of dying, i can see it.
I picked up the kitten carelessly and it ferociously bit my thumb and i bled. I slowly unhooked the tooth of the kitten from my thumb slowly. I placed the kitten on my bike and drove far away from the incident. Laid the kitten to rest near a roadside temples trash dump. I went, had dinner with cousin, drove back at 11 pm on the way back home. The kitten was dead.
I’m a cat person, i don’t really hate dogs but i do now much since this moment. I know it sounds irrational but i cant help it.
It would have made a difference if i had gotten off my bike 5 seconds earlier, i did not. “The Order of the Crutch” it indeed fucking was.
These are the times i hate my miserable fucking existence. Life is not worth living with this shit. Its all so pointless. The crutch makes all the difference. If not for this crutch, that kitten would have lived to see the daylight. Fuck this, i’ve had enough.
Tags: attack, crutch, cute kitten, dead kitten, death, habiullah road, kitten, stray dogs
Posted in Chennai, crib, daily life, emotions, incident, rantings, story | 3 Comments »
I don’t want M.F Hussain Back
Written by Dilip Muralidaran on March 18, 2010 – 6:34 pm -I’m tired of explaining things on twitter and chat so i decided i will write a blog post to consolidate my thoughts and present it in an orderly and clear manner without any confusion.
Preface:
M.F.Hussain the great artist whom many people are brooding over, his loss of Indian citizenship and want him back, is my subject for discussion. People are pissed off that the Hindu religious right over reacted and made him decide to give up his Indian citizenship for a Qatar one. People demand that India should extend an offer to bring him back and offer an apology as well. People claim that
“Art” and “Freedom of Expression” is above everything and no one has the right to not get offended. Artists should have no boundaries or restrictions and that they should be beyond offense & hurt.
Foreword:
I have no religious beliefs. I’m an outspoken atheist, no not the Karunanidhi kinds who love to blaspheme forward caste Hindu gods. I blaspheme all gods. I don’t care who gets offended and who does not. To me all god is blasphemy material and i will blaspheme things to death. I do not care who blasphemes what god and who gets offended. Blasphemy is a victimless crime. I do not support someone not to be offended at all.
Main Summary:
My Objective of this article is to strike a logical balance. We all know that India has blasphemy laws. Even though it sounds like stone age, yes in this country one cannot offend religious sentiments of another and get away with it. While i do not support this law i have to live with it for the time being until it is thrown to the dustbin like how criminalizing gays was trashed recently. It is in this context my argument is going to be. I’m all in support of freedom of expression. It should be applicable to all. Freedom of expression is not Selective. It is applicable to one and all. Just like how i love to call Mohammed a Pedophile, someone else should also have the freedom of expression to call Lord Shiva a murderous bastard. I cannot cry foul when someone else insults Shiva whilst i insult Prophet Mohammed or Vice Versa.
The Material:
I would like to show some of the images that MF Hussain drew that erected violence and criticism across the nation.
A fully dressed Muslim king and a naked Hindu Brahmin. While the Muslim king is shown in a dignified manner the Brahmin is butt naked. Brahmins are respected across India for their religious significance in the Hindu Dharma. Insulting a Brahmin Priest is equivalent to insulting a Imam or a Bishop.
Lord Hanuman and Goddess Sita both shown naked. Additionally the naked Sita sits on Ravanan’s lap. Sita is a symbol of chastity and divinity according to Hindu’s. So much that mythology states that she could not be burnt by the flames when her husband Rama asked her to take the test. To depict Sita sitting butt naked on a naked Ravanan’s lap is nothing short of insult.
Draupadi shown naked. Whilst one can dismiss this is as not so bad it still could offend people nevertheless.
Goddess Parvati depicted naked. Additionally i see her carrying or touching a naked vinayaka (her son) as well. What does this mean. She is aroused by her own son?
Goddess Saraswati depicted naked.
Goddess Lakshmi painted naked on Lord Ganesh’s head. Again compromising positions of gods and goddesses that may provoke anger.
Goddess Durga shown in an union with a Tiger. Notice how the anal sections of the human woman and the tiger collide in the drawing suggesting a copulation.
Here are some images the same person(artist) drew, in this case they are either Muslims or Christians…
Muslim poets Ghalib and Faiz shown properly and fully attired in a nice way
A fully clothed Muslim lady. Simple and elegant drawing. I don’t see how this lady could be a Muslim, maybe she does not have a bindi, thats why?
A painting of MF Hussain’s mother – properly and fully clothed.
Mother Teresa shown fully clothed.
Hussain’s daughter painted fully and properly clothed.
A properly and fully-clothed Fatima, the Prophet’s daughter (from one the innumerable number of women he raped/impregnated or forcibly married).
My Conclusion:
It is distinctly evident from MF Husain’s work that he likes to play spoil sport with Hindu items and he treats his own Muslim brethren and Christians with respect. When i say Hindu i refer to the followers of the religion called “Hinduism” that it is known today. It is evident that if MFH paints a picture of prophet Mohammed he would not have his hands to wash his rectal cavity after taking a dump, the next time around. The same can be said if he paints a picture of Mother Teresa in a bikini or say naked.
1. I’m happy that he has the balls to blaspheme against Hindu Gods. I don’t care, god does not exist and insulting a non existing entity is not a criminal offence in my opinion. Like i said earlier, blasphemy is a victimless crime.
2. Applying the same logic Christian & Muslims gods don’t exist as well. Hence offending their gods should not be a big ass problem as well. Unfortunately no, in this country secularism means bashing the majority to appease the minority. We all know what Taslima’s Burkha article did and how many lives were lost because someone wrote something about a piece of clothing & commented on a religious text from their personal opinion.
3. Just as Muslims & Christians have the constitutional right to feel offended (ironically) so do Hindu’s have the right to feel offended if someone depicts a mother god and her son god to be copulating or performing sexual deeds to each other.
4. To bring back M.F. Hussain or to apologize to him would be hypocrisy. If M.F. Hussain deems an apology and needs to be brought back to India and given safe custody and citizenship then i demand Salman Rushdie to be awarded $100 million dollars and an apology for his work being banned. I also propose that we compensate Dan Brown and Sony Pictures with a $500 Million cheque and apology and we will screen “The Da Vinci Code” all over again in all theaters and govt. offices and public places across India.
5. It is pretty obvious neither will we allow “Satanic Verses” nor do we tolerate The “Da Vinci Code” movie. Both of them are an item that indicate “Freedom of Expression” and “Artistic Expression” as well just like MF Hussain’s paintings do.
6. If we cannot tolerate one, then the other cannot be tolerated as well.
7. It is hypocrisy and unfair to say that someone can offend Hindu’s and not face the consequences but Muslims or Christians should NEVER be offended at no cost even if they outrightly offend the Hindu’s.
I don’t care for Muslims or Christians or Hindu’s. I do however care when one of them is being subject to insult to appease the other or question one of them while they insult the other will generate violence and commotion. Everyone is equal in the eyes of the law, even if that law is stupid to claim one cannot be offended at all (on religious grounds) like how it is in India.
M.F Hussain is no holier than Dan Brown or Salman Rushdie. Nor is he exclusive from the Danish Newspaper who were brought to their knees for publishing a silly fucking cartoon. For all i care, M.F Hussain can go to hell. I care less. Let him practice his “Freedom of Expression” by painting Mohammed in Qatar, if he has the balls to. If only he can play around with Islamic or Christian figures like he does with Hindu figures and then demands that people should not feel offended, i would consider him to be a true secularist and would voice my support to bring him back. Until then, let him scramble in the desert and drink crude oil for time pass. He is a mere perverted Muslim prick who wants to offend Hindu’s and take cover under the blanket of “Art” & “Freedom of Expression” and play politics with our skewed idea of secularism which applies only to Muslims & Christians while Hindu’s can be offended and abused without any question.
Tags: Apology, Art, Citizenship, Drawings, india, M.F. Hussain, Qatar
Posted in country, dogma, hinduism, incident, india, islam, opinion, secularism | 34 Comments »
Chennai Hating for Dummies
Written by Dilip Muralidaran on March 6, 2010 – 6:27 am -Dear People of various kind who come from all sorts of places that have one thing in common, you want to hate Chennai but you don’t know how. All you can say is “Chennai Sucks” on twitter, blogs and forums/websites i empathize with you and i feel your pain.
Here are some pointers that will not make you look like a fool that you may be for real, instead it would make you appear that you really do have a valid reason to be hating Chennai. If you follow the instructions i give you carefully in this blog post, you would look cool amidst your Amitus Abeyarus kind.
If you follow my 5 points you will certainly be someone. Someone whom people think have some masala in their talks and its not pure gas, the ones that come excessively post a couple of butter parathas & aloo mutter.
1. Auto’s in Chennai suck, they fleece and cheat people and they are rude to them. Really, this is possibly the best point one can make against Chennai & you cannot find a valid rebuttal from none of the losers living who live in Chennai when they try defend their city as and when you abuse it. I mean why do you care that there is a language issue and you cannot bargain with auto-karans (wallas) like them stupid Tamils do and get a better deal. You cannot bargain in Tamil & that’s the end of it. You are too holy to ask some dark skinned smelly Tamil guy on the roads who maybe friendly enough to speak to the auto guy for you and help you with things but no, not really needed. Keep your fair skinned supremacy to yourself and don’t let them blackenese get close to you. Why do you need to use the public transport, especially the trains which are far less crowded than Mumbai or the MRTS which is a fabulous facility when speaking of public transport. Auto’s are bad, its a historical fact that cant be changed tomorrow and Chennai needs to be hated for that, now go get it!
2. Nobody speaks the National Language of India, “Hindi”. Yes, unruly, uncultured, ill mannered and unpatriotic Tamil’s. No it does not matter that India does not have the concept of National Language and Hindi is not the national language of India. We have Official Languages and Hindi/English which definitely is but so are the regional languages of the state that are official languages for government communication as well. Its okay, do diss Chennai for this. You can’t find a madrasi complain that no one speaks Tamil in New Delhi or Mumbai but so what? Despite the fact that tamilnadu has never been invaded by any of them mughals and they have never had the need or come under the circumstances where they’ve had the need to communicate in Hindi. Those non-hindi speaking Chennai’tes are definitely country brutes and they deserve all the flack they get.
3. The Chennai weather sucks. What do you expect? Its just like the bleady food they eat, its hot as hell! Yes, people in Chennai have no control over the weather, it is naturally so because that’s how the topography works out to be. Chennai is hot and sultry and its humid and its complete turn off for anyone. Chennai people do not have a weather machine to control their weather, nor can the north indians control their uber freezing winter but what the hell. Chennai is hot and chennai sucks and its your birthright to complain and insult chennai for something that it cannot help change or that it did not cause in the first place.
4. Chennai food sucks! You cannot get good dhal and roti here anywhere. It does not matter if the population of Chennai majorly consumes rice. You have the right to hate dosa (btw its ‘dosai’ actually) just because, well you need something to hate so why not? No paratha’s, no aloo ghobi. Chennai food sucks. Why? Because it does, period.
5. No hot girls in Chennai! Can’t see them tight salwar wearing big round booty showing jean clad girls in Chennai. Nor can you talk or make comments obscenely at girls in Chennai roads without getting thrashed. Even the prostitutes you find here are so black skinned and dirty. Yes, Chennai has lesser of the sexual harassment on the roads and the violence as well but who cares. You cannot find girls that show skin, nor can you find good prostitutes. Chennai Sucks!
There you go. If you follow these five pointers and build on top of it using your creativity you are one of the elite Chennai hater who would be respected and admired in the internet on communities on orkut named Chennai Sucks which have awesome topics to discuss like “Lungi Hatao Poongi Bhajao” that elevates your intellectual capabilities to the stars.
Tags: amit bait, Chennai, Chennai Sucks, Madras, sarcasm
Posted in Chennai, comedy, india | 10 Comments »
#msnarainishot
Written by Dilip Muralidaran on March 1, 2010 – 4:26 pm -Okay, it all started like this. Narain was on twitter and apparently some gay guy found him irresistibly hot and tweeted out the below…
So some gay guy was troubling narain on twitter spamming him much.
This lead to that and finally we all decided that narain was just too hot for all gay guys in chennai and so was the hashtag #msnarainishot born. From this a few specks of gem were spewed out from various juntha in twitter. Here are some of them masterpieces…
Ratzz
@msnarain nvr needs a woolen clothing. #msnarainishot
@msnarain nvr gets to enjoy ‘cool’ drinks, coz #msnarainishot
Guys and Girls will be hunting for the lotion so that they can be safe while they are with @msnarain #msnarainishot
why dint @msnarain‘s folks buy a microwave? coz #msnarainishot
why did voltas ac sales go up suddenly?? Coz #msnarainishot
why cant we ever have winter olympics in chennai, Coz #msnarainishot
why did rajinikanth say Okay Buddy Cool in sivaji? coz #msnarainishot
Ratzzz switched off the fan to conserve energy then turned it on as #msnarainishot
Surajram Kumaravel
Okay. My server has crashed. Evidently cause #msnarainishot
Radio Mirchi is trying to rope in @msnarain as their brand ambassador. #msnarainishot
Dilip
chatti is called pot, maattikina ur caught. pullikky peru dot, olagathukke theriyum #msnarainishot
the cia has agents out in the field to kill @msnarain & arrest global warming. why? cuz #msnarainishot
theriyalenna kekkanum what? vayasu pasanga sight adipaanga lot, spam panna use pannu bot, global warming is proof #msnarainishot
war is always fought, lessons are always taught. fishes are always caught, everybody says #msnarainishot
era theva yeni, thannikku hindi’la paani. gudurai is called pony, #msnarainishot moodikinu po nee!
election vandha podanum vote’u, ragam therinja padanum paatu. address solla theriyanum route’u, ellarum sollunga #msnarainishot ‘u.
paduthu thoonga thevai cot, figure’a thallinu poga find a spot. meendhu pona biryani will rot, i dont care what u say #msnarainishot
Tags: friends, funny, gay, humour, joke, Narain, Twitter
Posted in Twitter, daily life, friends, funny | 1 Comment »
Valentines Day, the T. Rajendar Way!
Written by Dilip Muralidaran on February 14, 2010 – 2:54 pm -Me and my friend Reva had some real flow today in writing kavidhai for valentines day. Here are some of them gems. Juntha belonging to the Amitus Abeyaarus species please excuse! 
Mine:
figurea paatha adikkarathu whistle, mama rounds’la oodhuradhu bigil. kalyanathula adikkarthu thavil, figure annana paartha onakkulla oru thigil
figure’a madikka venum thillu, over’a vida koodathathu jollu. aunty savagasam is always lollu, sama tight aga adikkanum 1 full’u!
nadaka udhavum kaalu, innaikku seththa nalaikku paalu, figure kitta udaatha noolu, pickup, drop & escape idea dhool’u!
enga ooru figure ellam bore’u, jaliya irukka kudikkanum beer’u, kudichittu otta koodathu car’u, otti idichiputta ur behind bar’u!
vaanathula parakkuthu kaaka, valentines day’nna joke’a? ethir veetula ponnu irukku sokka, adha ushaar pannu nee innikku nekka!
hello FM oru radio, adhu vara format audio, adhanoda producer oru lady’o, pottu thallara alavukku neenga enna periya kediyo?
thakkali chediyoda height oru adi, pulla illathava oru maladi, vesham seyya venum arali, en peru @trajendar naan oru karadi!
kathalukku illai kannu, kannu munnu theriyaama sight adikkaravan nenjellam aagum punnu
kaathalukku thevai oru ponnu, kathalukku illa kannu, ithu puriyathavan mandayila irukkarathu mannu!
payasam saapida thevai thonnai, thamizhnadu pesa solludhu ennai, thamizh urasuthu onnai, ippadi enna imsai panra nee vennai!
nelathulla podaradhu veli, kennathula podarathu vaali, original illena athu poli, kaathali manaiva aga nee kattanum thaali
sound comes out of mouth = talk, silently follow girl = stalk. talk = vaazhkai padi, stalk = pombala police thadiyala sema adi
dont interupt my flow, my knowledge will glow, mess with me my hand comes down on u with a mighty blow! @trajendar
Reva: (Kris Iyer is Reva’s Valarnthu Ketta Boss )
enaikum kelu "nee yaaru", rediyaaru, chetiyaaru, samiyaaru pannayaaru, kothanaaru, ayyanaaru, idu sonnadu yaru namma TR-u (via Kris)
valekka pona kadaikkum kaasu, summa iruntha neeyoru loosu, eniyum, kuduppaen nalla dosu, inimael karadi than tamizh bossu (via Kris)
summa kedachcha athuku paeru free, kayum kaniyum irunda, athukku peru tree, kathal mattum panni paaru nee, Its like dosaikku chutney
innaikku saappitta thaan cake-ka, athila icing naekka nokka kooda kudikka enna Coke-a?, summa enjoy pannu sokka! (by KrisIyer)
Moonjileh irukkudhu mooku, paati vaayileh irukkudhu paaku, vadivelu top strong, basement weak-ku, Innaikku kedachidhu Vday Cake-ku!
Naanga poadurom paatu, Adhuleh varum semma beat-tu, Ingeh Music-ku illeh pootu, Adha keakkadhavanukku irukku vayttu!
Happy Valentines Day All!
Tags: 2010, funny, humour, Karadi, Kavidhai, Lousy Stuff, T. Rajendar, Valentines Day
Posted in funny | 3 Comments »
I propose an “I <3 Chennai” campaign of sorts…
Written by Dilip Muralidaran on October 23, 2009 – 5:31 pm -So much has been talked, analyzed, argued and debated about Lonely Planet and its fiasco of screwing around with biased and subjective review of Chennai. All said and done, the fact remains that neither have they responded in a positive manner, nor is the general perception of “Chennai is toned down, small set of villages with nothing much to see or it has to offer” sort of opinion go away.
Some of the participants commenting mentioned about not having the campaign or the marketing spin that other cities have like for example Bengaluru, Delhi, Mumbai etc., So here is an idea. Why not do some marketing for Chennai? No, im not talking about huge billboards or events. I’m sure we do not have the resources or time for it.
Why cant we simply have T-Shirt campaigns? Something like “Stay Away: Karpagambal Filter Kaapi Addict” sort of slogans on T-Shirts? I’m sure if we can afford good designs, they will get copied and get spread far and wide around the city. Lets open it up to everyone. Lets walk wearing such stuff on Photowalk. Lets wear it at events like Madras Week, Sangamam and so on.
We can have mugs, Stickers on Bikes, Wallpapers on PC’s, Notebook Skins etc., These are things one can make in their spare time and easily get done with it with very little money.
What say? I don’t wanna say much. I would just like to open the Comment stream for opinions and ideas.
Tags: Campaign, Chennai, idea
Posted in daily life, idea | 11 Comments »
Chennai, The 7th Most Hated City in the World
Written by Dilip Muralidaran on October 19, 2009 – 4:28 pm -After Krish pointed out Lonely Planet about some of the facts on Chennai, our beloved city, Lonely Planet did put a shabby effort to re-write the piece which does not look as miserable as it used to before.
Lonely Planet however, does have another interesting Article. They call it the Cities you really hate and they list a lot of cities and its anybody’s guess Chennai is on it too and it repeats again, like it did in the previous article…
We describe it as lacking Mumbai’s prosperity, Delhi’s history or Bengaluru’s buzz.
I’m going to merely repeat what has already been said before by many people on krish’s blog.
1. Mumbai’s Prosperity – Sure yes, they have bollywood. How come our Kollywood, the second most largest movie industry got ignored on this front? How come Chennai being the backbone of Indian automotive market got comfortably ignored? In Chennai, we don’t have Benz SUV’s running over people sleeping on the platforms and killing them at large and the driver walking away scot free. The poor get a little less poorer here some of the times and maybe richer too occasionally compared to mumbai’s “rich getting richer & poor getting poorer” as our super star rajinikanth would say. On one side lies five star hotels and Benz SUV’s (which are manufactured in sriperumbudur – an industrial town setup near Chennai) and on the other slums where people undergo untold pain and hardship. Ever heard of sustainable development/progress? That’s Chennai for starters. Finally, we definitely don’t have to worry about the underworld that bollywood is so famous for.
2. Delhi’s History – I will quote from Chandrachoodan’s words since i can never top him when it comes to Chennai’s History…
What history can Chennai claim? Besides being the first major city the British built in India, besides it 1000 year old temples and 500 year old churches and 200 year old mosques and ancient port towns and stone-age settlements, what history can Chennai claim? The city has absolutely no history, which is why even the Portuguese thought it not wise to give Santhome away as dowry to the British king, opting instead to give them Bombay. The city has no history whatsoever, which is why almost all of Independent India’s institutions had to be founded in Madras. The city has no history or why else would the British pioneer the architectural style of Indo-Saracenic, fusing Muslim/Persian styles with the classical styles of south India, in Madras?
3. Bengaluru’s Buzz – For starters, how about Chennai being the Second largest software exporter in India, behind Bangalore being ignored without any sort of hesitation? Secondly, how about Chennai being the backbone of the Indian Automobile industry with over 40% of production + distribution happening in plants setup in and around Chennai by Hyundai, Maruti, Tata, TVS and Mahindra. Answers where all those damn cars in Outer ring road (that clogs the narrow Bangalore roads and make the city hell to drive around) comes from, don’t it.
My only question here is this. “How do you hate a city?”
I mean i can understand if you are a foreigner and you are asked to relocate to a new city and you find the food and the culture and practices hostile and you hate life for that moment of time while you get adjusted to it or try and fit in desperately. I’ve been through that in Bangalore and i can accept that but then i eventually moved on and now i love that city and would not hesitate to move back if conditions favored. But as a “traveler” or a “tourist” how can you hate a city? I mean, if you get mugged or robbed or raped its one thing, still hating a city on the whole? I mean why would you even have an article that says “hate” on your site when your intent is supposed to be promoting factual, neutral and unbiased information about a place. I don’t get it, seriously.
The whole point of travelling, i feel personally is to experience. Its agreed not all experiences may be pleasant or something everyone would like. However, just because a few people wanted to play it too safe and never got to know the real local things to do and have fun in a place, does that make the place hated? Wow, this is possibly the first time im hearing such an idea.
Finally you also say…
Even the Movie stars are ‘not that hot’
As you put it and you even claim you are being kind. Kind for not being more sexist?
You seem to have this thing for rating a movie star based on looks and sexuality and nothing more, probably. While looks and sexuality are a major part of a movie star, which i completely agree on.. its not everything. I can agree with the fact that we brown and black skinned Tamilian’s are not as appealing and sexy compared to the white skinned north Indians. That’s the only way i can put it. I fail to see it in any other terms. I do agree our heroines are fat and yes, we like them that way. We prefer them to anorexic women with oversized implants whose silicon in the breast weighs more or less their own body weight, they diet so hard like “oh my god if i don’t eat one more meal i may die of starvation” looks. We have this fetish for some oversized women and i certainly do not deny that. Why else would Shakila be the most famous porn star in the country? Oh wait, did i say country? Wow, yes that includes my north Indian friends who are truck loads in number that love some shakila porn on their comps and always keep asking if there is something new, quite embarrassingly.. one has to admit, being south indian.
Nevertheless, if you knew who Trisha, Simran, Asin, Shreya are and if you ever looked at how our women swoon to see topless Surya or scream on seeing our Superstar Rajinikanth who is loved for his charisma on screen and Ulaganathan Kamalahasan’s exceptionally directed movies and acting skills, you would not really have made that naive statement. I guess sweaty Cleavages, almost nipple revealing clothing and always bare bodied hero’s of the north is what you are fond of, probably. I will admit, i get excited too, looking at deepika padukone or aishwarya rai’s [who by the way entered the movie industry via a “Tamil” kodambakkam (a place in chennai) film] frame but i do snap back to reality and don’t get carried away. There are to many lovely pairs of women’s bosoms and i cant be stuck with a few all the time. After all, variety is the spice of life. However when it comes to the movies, we like the usual masala flicks like any indian but get very serious about quality performances, script, story-line, sequencing, editing and playback which are all things we fight and argue about over a cup of filter kaapi at saravana bhavan or karpagambal’s mess. If you wanna know more on this read this too. If you still aint satisfied, i invite you to karpagambal’s mess where i will treat you to the world famous in chennai filter coffee and masala dosai to discuss this matter seriously with another 20 of us chennai’ vasi’s (fuck chennaikers) who will fiercely debate the issue with great passion.
I know, if at all i have any chance some Lonely Planet writer will drop by and put a politically correct statement in a decent manner (unlike the flair with which i use expletives and im so infamous for) stating some stuff which obviously will mean “that’s what people think abt Chennai, its full of shit so get lost” kind of remark that was already posted like this in Sharanya’s blog.
But hey, its a blog and unfortunately it happens to be mine. We are a democracy and everyone has the freedom of expression (unless you are messing with the real baddies in which case thou shalt be wrong) to say what they want, so there goes my 23 minutes of ranting on a random blog no sane person on planet earth would waste time reading or comment to result in futile results.
Tags: Chennai Sucks, Hated Cities, Lonely Planet, Madras
Posted in Chennai, country, crib, media, opinion, rantings | 33 Comments »
Chinna Saroja, Golu and Death
Written by Dilip Muralidaran on September 27, 2009 – 7:28 pm -Death is a great equalizer. I do not have great memories of everyone i’ve met in life but some people stood out. They stood out because they were the different ones. Some called them weird, some called them unfortunate and some called them fools. I call them victims of culture based off religious ideologies. The example i will present is a fantastic specimen.
When you live in a Brahmin community you are never short of women named “Saroja” around you. Its one of those famous brahmin names along with “Baby”. Chinna Saroja (Chinna means Little in tamil) was a famous character from my childhood days. She and her husband were a unique couple. I guess i think his name was Kutti Raman (Kutti means small in tamil) but i really don’t remember it that well. Her husband was the silent one like teller in the Penn and Teller show. Chinna saroja ran the show pretty much and her husband nodded, always.
Chinna Saroja and her Husband were distant relatives. They were quite rich, or rather used to be. They had it all. You can imagine them to be one of the differently rich landlord Brahmin family types. They had business, they had acres of land, farms and pretty much everything going for them in life with the exception of children. They did everything they could in this world to have children. Every doctor money could buy and every type of medication.
Of course, they did perform every pooja for all the hindu gods in the text books and off the text books. I say off the text books because a nun and a father in the lourdes church conned them and made some money claiming jesus was a hindu god and he could help with child birth. So did a gentleman from the venus mosque claim some islamic fairy to be lord ayyappans daughter and made a quick buck. My grandfather put an end to these things with the help of a few other people and of course the cops and i will reserve that incident for another very long blog post. Nevertheless, they had no children.
Saroja and her husband adopted. I really love it now to think of the fact that they were liberal enough to go to an orphanage and adopt a random child. Folks from my community / family pestered them to adopt a “Brahmin” child so that i is not subject to the thought processes of a “non brahmin” child. Many a poor family had even tried to sell them a child one could not raise due to poverty. Nevertheless, they adopted a “non brahmin” child, not one but five. The children were happy. Of course they adopted into the ways of a brahmin family system as well. They were vegetarians, spoke the brahmin accent of tamil and one could hardly recognize them if not told.
Once the children grew up they returned the favour. They drugged their parents and made them write off all the property they had to these five adopted children. With mother-loads of money in their wallet the children split and fled in different directions except one. He lived in the same house as their parents brought them up. This son was the kindest of all. He did not throw the parents on the streets like one would expect. He made them household servants instead. They did all the cooking, washing and cleaning and in return were fed 3 square meals a day, without any pay or benefits.
Saroja reminds me not because of her painful state of life but because how she made merry for everyone by making fun of herself. Every year during Golu, she would go around homes in town visiting the Golu setup. As customary as it is, she would sing. Everyone loved it, not because she was fantastic a singer but she was horrible a singer yet nothing or no one stopped her. I explicitly remember the same song she sang year after year. It went something like…
“Gundu Saroja, Baby Saroja, Kulla Saroja, Chinna Saroja…”
Those were the chorus lines. It basically meant “Fatty Saroja, Childlike Saroja, Short Saroja, Small Saroja”, it was a tamil song. Her own composition, apparently. You cannot forget that face because it resembled exactly like that of this Chettichi doll in this image. Unlike today’s women even in their late 60’s, back then women did not shave, they did not use lazer or wax their lips, skin etc., Turmeric was the only option used on the face to prevent hair growth. The yellow of turmeric made her mild moustache stand out blonde and it would look so funny we kids exploded into laughter the moment we saw her. All the kids would gather around in my house from our street when she comes over for Golu.
She would take the small amount of money, the blouse bit (clothing to stitch a blouse) and the fruits and other things that were given when you visit ones house for Golu. Saroja lived her life for Golu, if you asked me. She had her moments, and it was clearly meant for those famous lines of her multi platinum local number sung at Golu, every year.
She passed away one fine day in sleep. Her husband was even more broke when she was no more. He came one fine day and said he was starving and his daughter in law feeds him no more. My aunt and my mother used to take pity on him and feed him lunch everyday. He would sit at the verandah and eat food out of a banana leaf. The hunger of a man 80 odd year old man who has not eaten for a whole day will show. I felt bad for him.
One fine day he came and he presented a neat “Pallanguzhi” instrument made of teak wood. It was a famous game back then before ludo and trump cards defeated old board games. He wanted to sell it and my aunt brought it for Rs. 20 from him. That was the last we saw of him. A few days later we heard he died during sleep on the pavements, right outside his house. Thaththa (Grandpa) went to the burial ground and offered his “vaaykkarisi” (dropping grains of rice on the dead persons mouth before setting on fire) before he was cremated.
I don’t believe in celebrating religious festivals or practices. I somehow was reminded of Chinna Saroja looking at the doll in my house Golu today. I think i will change my mind and make an exception. I will celebrate Saroja, her husband and their life history. I hope there are other people who remember them today. I really hope…
Tags: Bhommai, Chettiar, Chettichi, childhood, Golu, Kolu, Real Life Story, short story, tragedy
Posted in daily life, happenings, india, personal, short story | 2 Comments »