Browsing "comedy"

Dear PSBB students from my school days…

Get a life, seriously. Actually, give me back my life, rather my childhood, please. I sit here today like a lonely Michael Jackson on a tree in the middle of a nowhere forest singing “have you seen my childhood?” to myself. All of this because of you. Yes, you… prick!

Ongalukku ellam vera velaye kedayatha? Onga veettula appa amma enna pana maram valarthaangala? Wasn’t school just enough? Wasn’t it too much anyways? I mean, I saw you folks go to school at 6.30 in the bleady morning. Which loser does that? No, don’t answer that, it was a rhetorical one.

School starts at 09:00. Apparom enna special class at 7:00 ? Your teachers and all had no purushans to cook for and pasanga to kulupaatify and get ready for school’a? Enna velayaadareengala? Dei! Seri, pogattum.. athenna school mudinja apparum innoru special class? Your teachers have no house’a? They’re all homeless people who stay in school till dinner and go to shelters to sleep’a? Do you realize how many times when I had scored less than 80% in that physics test and my father and mother used to quote how much special classes you kids are attending and how special it makes you? I mean if you were an item in Saravana Bhavan hotel menu, you guys would definitely been named Special Dosa of sorts. Ethulayume neenga sadhaarnama irukka matteengala? paruppu!

Seri, athenna compulsory swimming class? Boy’skku oru time and Girls-kku innoru time? What’s the point? Thani thaniyaa swim panni enna kizhikka poreenga? Arive illaya onga swimming instructor’skku? For the money you guys paid for school fee’s nirosha must come in swimsuit like this and teach you guys everyday, everything apart from the curriculum.

Ideal condition of teaching methodology for PSBB classrooms…

Seri atha free vudunga. Athenna ellarum classical music kathukkanum? Cinema paattu paadina enna urugiyaa poyduveenga? Naangalellam Agni Natchatiram version kekkumbodhu neenga ellam Carnatic music version paduveenga. Atha kettutu enga appanum aathaalum kaari thuppi engala ellam moonji melaye methipaanga. Athu thane venum? Rascals!

Paadinaa pothatha? Aada vera aadanuma? Athuvum bharathanattiyam? Naanga ellam intha pattukku dance aduvom…

Stuff normal ppl like to dance to

Neenga naduvula poonthu, intha madhiri aadittu poiduveenga…

Shit PSBB dudes do to get us killed…

Adhukku apparom paatti vandhu engala “en da ippadi avuthu pottutu adareenga?” nnu thittanum! Athu thane idea? Thiruttu kammunaateeengala. Nasama poga!

Seri etho adineenga, padineenga’nnu free vutta athu enna hindi class, hindi prachara sabha’la? Who the hell speaks sanskrit on an everyday basis? Evan ongala ellam poi second language atha edukka sonnan? How many of you are poojari’s in temple today? tell me I say! Apparom poi hindi exam ezhutha vendiyathu. Ongala pathuttu enga amma appavum get us into nonsensical Dakshina Bharat Hindi Prachar Sabha exams. Mavane! 12 mani veyyilla T. Nagar’kku bus puduchi andha ezhavu edathukku poi fee’s kattanum? Enna velayaatta irukka ongalukku ellam? dei!

Anyways all you did at the end of it is this only…

PSBB dudes hindi post praveen uthraardh exam…

Seri etho hindi is our national language and all that shit vadakkathi veriyans claimed and your folks fell for that bullshit. But why French? Omlette venumna brilliant tutorial vassala poi “anna! oru aamulettu podunganna, vengaayam illaama” apdeennu ketta you will get one for 2 Rupees no? Adhenna “omelette au fromage” sonna than jeeranam agumaa? Alpom pudichavanungala! You went and studied french no? English padathula french kissing panna kooda amma will close your eyes and turn off TV. So you obviously did not learn how to french kiss as well but paid enough money that would fetch you a french wife today. Why? Lose’a? French class’kku poi french kiss panna pakkathula irukkara figure’oda practice pannalenna apparam entha mayirukku ponai? yabba… tension pannareenga da onga logic-oda. Anyways like all obedient boys US lendhu 12 days leave pottutu vandhu you got married at 31. Just in time for you to officially exit the meat market and then only you lost virginity. En indha scene, with all this french? I’m sure even your wife does not allow you to French kiss being the good Indian girl she is. En? Why this pain ya?

Karate Class. You eat thayir sadham. I also eat thayir sadham. Who are we going to fight with apart from the sister/brother? Athukku ethukku Karate kathukkanum? Anyways maths’la centum varalenna appa is gonna beat the crap out of your miserable existence. Its not like he will spare you if you know like some 10 kattas or something. Anyways all those kattas were for you demonstrating it in front of that nosey uncle and aunty or relatives whom you have never met in your life before. Anything you show them with haa hoo sound they will always say “enna azhaga pannaraan kozhandha, thrishti suththi podungo!” and place a big fat kiss on your cheek with with bad breath and ugly 1 rupee sized wart on their face which has hairs coming out of it and all.

Gundu payyan putting scene for ethirtha veettu sumaar figure

Anyways, being the gundu payyan you are, all that you can do is put scene to impress that sumaar ethirtha veettu figure by breaking already rain’la oori poi nanji ponna, paasi pudicha sengal. I mean, anyone can do that. Even the pakkathu aththu thaththa who had no teeth and walked with a crutch could have pulled that one off. Its not like impressing that figure is gonna get you married to her right away. Ava enna caste’o, appa amma wont othufy for that and all..

Because of you, we were forced to join some karate class or tae kwon do and that instructor would semma adi adichify us everyday under the pretext of teaching us and disciplining us. Adi vaangi vaangi, soranaye illaama pochu odambula. The only good thing out of that was in school when teacher asked you to show back of the hand and beat with scale it never pained and all. All that othai karate instructor gave previous day in class made our odambu marathu pogify completely.

We cant able to put maanja and fly kite also. All the folks at home will say is, <insert cousin name studying in PSBB> paaru, samuththa free time’la rangoli class porathu. neeyum irukkiye, porukki kaathadi uda pora!”. Seriously, how many of you people get up in the morning at 5 am and vaasal’a thanni thelichify and put 36 pulli kolam? En indha vetti bandha and all going for rangoli class?

I want compensation. Either invent a time machine and send me back to my childhood. I will murder you all before hand. Pull something off like John Conor in terminator padams so that you don’t exist in the first place. Adhu mudiyalenna pay me! I want all your money! The ladies, I want all you pretty girl friends numbers except the ones that studied in MOP vaishnav college. Andha gang’a ennala sathyamaa tolerate panna mudiyaathu. I cant able to buy Gucci tissues to wipe the cold coffee that spills of her lips while she needs to have that at trident everyday and I have to ferry her by a A segment car only and drop her back.

So when you are done reading this, text me and I will send you my bank account number. ICICI or HDFC is better since I can get money faster on these accounts. Yes, and one more thing. I know you got married at 32 and you are relieved you are getting laid and not dying a virgin and all but putting your wifes photo as your Display Picture on gmail chat, facebook, twitter and all is completely unacceptable. Unless you want people like me to hit on her, that is.

 

P.S. this is one comedy piece only. romba tension aagina drink the ice more amma makes at home or adichify some filter kaapi and listen to some indholam on your iPod or something instead of calling my onnu vitta chithappa or vayasukku varaatha paatti a brammaharthi and all. also amits and neha’s who did not understand the tamil, maaf keejiye!

A Legend of Dr. Jayson

There are some people in your life who come for in to play their part for a short period of time and then leave a permanent mark on you. Then suddenly one fine day you recollect memories of this person and miss the times. It feels sort of weird but one such person I remember today is Dr. Jayson. I can safely say I’ve seen enough doctors in my lifetime compared to the average individual. Most of them were orthopedics or neuro surgeons and were consulted for my physical condition.

However there is one doctor who stands out in my head. This guys name is Jayson. He used to run a small but very famous clinic or rather to be fair enough, a room (shop) which was 6 foot by 6 foot right next to a flour mill shop close to home. Whenever someone fell sick, post all self medication and prasadham from temples the usual last resort was this guy. He was an excellent person and not to mention a personality as well. The only trouble is, his injections on the buttocks hurt like bat shit crazy for the next 5 days. You would never feel a thing, his touch was like feather but when you sat on the floor with your ass back at home I would have screamed “son of a biyaatch!” if only I had know such words back then, but then I was barely 6 or 7, sigh!. So yes, it was a dull and uninteresting “yamaaaaaadiyov!” for all I care to remember.

The most vivid memory of this doctor was when my curiosity as always brought me close to death or at least brought my parents close to shitting themselves. So one fine day after a lot of physiotherapy at GH and goofing around the house and getting ass whooped as you would get in a typical Indian family in the mid 1980’s it so happened to be the case that I found a shiny tin can with red and green/white text and it smelt like sugar. So I opened it and conveniently drank a lot of it. Sadly, before I emptied it all I heard a scream from my cousin. One like when them pretty boobied women give out before being stripped naked and killed in the Evil Dead movie, not before being paraded gleefully by roots of a tree 34.8 miles into the forest at 1 in the midnight.

Yes, it was baygon spray.

Of course, nothing happened to me. At least not immediately. So I was rushed to Dr. Jayson where this dude made me drink lots of salt water and I did not puke. I probably enjoyed all that salt water and pretended it was the sea. I don’t remember If I asked for some lemon and sugar with it, i might have knowing what kind of a brat I was. Anyways, this is when Dr. Jayson pulls out his magic. He gives you pills the size of a mustard seed or an ant egg, so to speak. You swallow that bugger and everything you ever ate in the past 4 days comes out of your mouth in the next 3 minutes. He was extremely famous for this. Folks in the house would be relieved seeing you puke till your internal organs came out.

Paatti would exclaim “Appaada! vaandhi eduthuttaya? avan kudukkara marunthu ellame appadi thaan. kettadhai ellam veliyila vara vechidum, aanaa nallathu!”

Jason doctor had this unique skill. He would probably cure HIV or something by giving you pukable pills, if he were alive now.

Last I heard, he went to London for higher studies. Post that I heard rumors that he died of cancer. I hope they were just rumors. It would be ironic If someone awesome like him weren’t alive today helping people.

Mar 6, 2010 - Chennai, comedy, india    29 Comments

Chennai Hating for Dummies

Dear People of various kind who come from all sorts of places that have one thing in common, you want to hate Chennai but you don’t know how. All you can say is “Chennai Sucks” on twitter, blogs and forums/websites i empathize with you and i feel your pain.

Here are some pointers that will not make you look like a fool that you may be for real, instead it would make you appear that you really do have a valid reason to be hating Chennai. If you follow the instructions i give you carefully in this blog post, you would look cool amidst your Amitus Abeyarus kind.

If you follow my 5 points you will certainly be someone. Someone whom people think have some masala in their talks and its not pure gas, the ones that come excessively post a couple of butter parathas & aloo mutter.

1. Auto’s in Chennai suck, they fleece and cheat people and they are rude to them. Really, this is possibly the best point one can make against Chennai & you cannot find a valid rebuttal from none of the losers living who live in Chennai when they try defend their city as and when you abuse it. I mean why do you care that there is a language issue and you cannot bargain with auto-karans (wallas) like them stupid Tamils do and get a better deal. You cannot bargain in Tamil & that’s the end of it. You are too holy to ask some dark skinned smelly Tamil guy on the roads who maybe friendly enough to speak to the auto guy for you and help you with things but no, not really needed. Keep your fair skinned supremacy to yourself and don’t let them blackenese get close to you. Why do you need to use the public transport, especially the trains which are far less crowded than Mumbai or the MRTS which is a fabulous facility when speaking of public transport. Auto’s are bad, its a historical fact that cant be changed tomorrow and Chennai needs to be hated for that, now go get it!

2. Nobody speaks the National Language of India, “Hindi”. Yes, unruly, uncultured, ill mannered and unpatriotic Tamil’s. No it does not matter that India does not have the concept of National Language and Hindi is not the national language of India. We have Official Languages and Hindi/English which definitely is but so are the regional languages of the state that are official languages for government communication as well. Its okay, do diss Chennai for this. You can’t find a madrasi complain that no one speaks Tamil in New Delhi or Mumbai but so what? Despite the fact that tamilnadu has never been invaded by any of them mughals and they have never had the need or come under the circumstances where they’ve had the need to communicate in Hindi. Those non-hindi speaking Chennai’tes are definitely country brutes and they deserve all the flack they get.

3. The Chennai weather sucks. What do you expect? Its just like the bleady food they eat, its hot as hell! Yes, people in Chennai have no control over the weather, it is naturally so because that’s how the topography works out to be. Chennai is hot and sultry and its humid and its complete turn off for anyone. Chennai people do not have a weather machine to control their weather, nor can the north indians control their uber freezing winter but what the hell. Chennai is hot and chennai sucks and its your birthright to complain and insult chennai for something that it cannot help change or that it did not cause in the first place.

4. Chennai food sucks! You cannot get good dhal and roti here anywhere. It does not matter if the population of Chennai majorly consumes rice. You have the right to hate dosa (btw its ‘dosai’ actually) just because, well you need something to hate so why not? No paratha’s, no aloo ghobi. Chennai food sucks. Why? Because it does, period.

5. No hot girls in Chennai! Can’t see them tight salwar wearing big round booty showing jean clad girls in Chennai. Nor can you talk or make comments obscenely at girls in Chennai roads without getting thrashed. Even the prostitutes you find here are so black skinned and dirty. Yes, Chennai has lesser of the sexual harassment on the roads and the violence as well but who cares. You cannot find girls that show skin, nor can you find good prostitutes. Chennai Sucks!

There you go. If you follow these five pointers and build on top of it using your creativity you are one of the elite Chennai hater who would be respected and admired in the internet on communities on orkut named Chennai Sucks which have awesome topics to discuss like “Lungi Hatao Poongi Bhajao” that elevates your intellectual capabilities to the stars.

Apr 13, 2009 - comedy, funny, humour    2 Comments

Steve Jobs uses Toilet paper!

Interestingly after the exciting news that Steve Jobs though on medical leave is running Apple from home, it looks like there is no stopping for Mr. Jobs and Apple Inc.

In an unprecedented manner the new piece of information that has hit today on the news stands has sent shock waves through the media world and shaking ground up the apple fan community.

Yes, its official. Steve Jobs uses toilet paper after taking a dump. The information was leaked when the man himself ordered environmental friendly, bio-degradable toilet paper that was delivered right at his doorstep by Amazon at a special discount price of USD $2.99 per wipe.

Mr. Jobs confesses that toilet paper maybe more expensive than water but then its all about the experience and the stability that matters. When you see the scum on paper and you know you’re getting what you are paying for. Mr. Jobs also accused people who use water need to shut their windows down and forget the narrow view of the world, open the doors and get out and take a bite of that forbidden fruit to know what reality is.

It is estimated that the stock price of toilet paper companies would go up by 350% and stocks aren’t going to last long since people have already been spotted outside wallmart & Ikea stores frantically typing on their iPhones calling friends to embrace the supremacy of personal hygiene, the toilet paper.

Twitter has complained that its server’s are being abused by iPhone apps in the last 24 hours ever sense this news about Jobs running apple from home and his using toilet paper has been leaked and hashtags such as #jobs #wfh #homework #appleisgod #jobsischrist #toiletpaperisyummy have all registered approximately 45 million hit counts.

Facebook is considering disabling all groups and applications relating to apple and Mr. jobs, in order to survive through this ordeal of information overload this kind of news leaks that seem to bring cyber space to a grinding halt.

P.S: The above news article is NOT true in any manner whatsoever. Mac fan boys can chill out and have a good laugh like those Mac vs. PC ads makes you laugh. Neither is this article intended to insult or abuse any person, company or service in any manner whatsoever nor is it intended to represent anyone in any context. Its purely satire and comedy

A day in Daksha’s Life

Daksha is my best’est friend. Let me introduce you to a wonderful day, a typical hour to minute affair in her wonderful life…

NOTE: Please view all links found here to get the complete picture.

0630: Daksha wakes up and finds fly on the Sevuru of her bedroom. She takes a pic of it. Fly does not fly away and Daksha yells "yay" in excitement. Unfortunately she has not brushed (in 4 days) and fly falls dead on the floor instantaneously. Neighboring fly was admitted as trauma case and is still fighting for its life in ICU.

0730: Daksha goes to shower but finds it too cumbersome so douzes off some more spinz deo on herself and says "there is always tomorrow and there is always hope for those who believe".

0830: Daksha is driving on the road and paper flowers and firangipani are on the road. She takes a pic of paper flowers and uploads it to flickr and names it "Chintha Poovu" and the Frangipani upload as "Bentha Poovu" in her mind. :D

1030: Daksha pings people on google chat "ooi, enna pannara" (which is usually the unfortunate me) and regardless of the reply you give her response is "im bored!!!". Any further conversation will result in a response "Hmmm.." from her. (hmm.. idhukkaaga naanga enna cabre dance’a ada mudiyum ivanga office’kku vandhu). She finally uploads a pic called "bored" and kills her boredom, phew.. thappichchomda sami.

1230: "ooi enna pannare" continues one more time again and i say "im goin out for lunch" and she again responds "im bored"… to which i standardly respond "wanna join me for lunch?" to which she sighs, "sir will not allow…"

0230: Daksha pings me on gmail chat again and ironically asks "are you jobless? you are always on chat all the time?" to which i respond "i work from home"… daksha does not agree… she wins… im certified jobless.. sattire is an aspect of life, i understand that much.. and so can you never win arguing with women, which is also a universal truth :-(

0330: Daksha teaches her flickr audience some arithmetic. She uploads this

0530: Daksha leaves for home, she stops by the road again to take pics of flowers but she runs over the flower she took a pic of in the morning with her car and kills it. She takes a pic of the dead flower, uploads to flickr and calls it "sithu boolnu" and sudhamshu is happy he can get that tulu part of it finally!

0630: SMS from daksha "u wrote that stupid blog about me you idiot! next time i see you i will slap you!!!"

0635: Dilip turns off comp and cell phone and hides under the sheets and prays for dear life, yeah right! :D

 


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Immanuel is a Pundai

No, we are not swearing at somebody here. Not certainly me. This post is merely an inspiration from post. I was tempted to write. Immanuel was our School math teacher during 9th and 10th grade. Immanuel master was special. Why? Because the kids knew how to pass a math exam. He taught tuition classes that costs you Rs. 80 per month and if you went for those classes it means you get a guaranteed 40% and pass the math exam. Not just that, he was sight adchifying the cute 18 year old french teacher, whom most of the kids in the class were sight adchifying too.

Nevertheless the point of this post is not about Mr. Immanuel our math teacher or his sex somersaults but its about toilets. Yes, toilets in the school. Wait, i know you wan’t to know what it has to do with the title. Allow me to explain.

"Immanuel is a Pundai" was the most scribbled text in all toilet wall’s in the school. Of course, other teachers having sex with weird unexplainable things and being castrated or crucified in horrendous ways were also a vital part of the loo art that you would find in these toilets but Immanuel master topped the hate list followed by our biology teacher susan rajan who was precariously described as slime. Why? Because she was the only person on earth who would eat with her right hand and dissect a cockroach off the left, peel things off it and explain things to students will she munched food in her mouth. Brilliant! Yes, she was!

Of course, we had Miss Sheela Christopher who was our Chemistry teacher. I’m not sure how good her chemistry was but her language was pathetic. She always used to point out to our unruly class leader and yell "munnadi pora yeruma maadu ozhunga ner kodula pona than, pinnadi vara yeruma maadu ellam ozhunga ner kottula nadakkum" and she added "munnala pora yeruma maede seri illa, pinnala vara erumaigalellam enna pannum?". Of course, she was promptly rewarded with fantastic  pictures of her riding yeruma maadu’s in the nude and also giving birth to a yeruma kannu kutti. Utter genius in artistic expression. I remember winning 4 rangoli competitions in school successively from 7th – 10th grade during the childrens day festival and project days/exhibition. If only the judges visited the toilets to see the art on the wall, i swear i would not have had a chance in the remote possibilities of planet earth.

I studied in a "All Boys" school till 10th grade. The world famous in perambur "St. Mary’s Matriculation Boys Higher Secondary School" and all of our school toilets were famous and had so much culture and history as much as our school did. Everyday we failed to do homework and we had to kneel down outside class and the cute french miss walked by laughing at us we would rush to the toilet to draw such weird things of the oppressing teacher of that particular period, what awesome a way it was to take it out on them. It was a fantastic channel because the staff toilet which was close to the staff room was cleaned on an hourly basis and kept well compared to the students toilet which was cleaned only when there was a cholera break out amongst school kids, housed in the classes close to the toilet.

To start with, none of the toilets had doors. Yes, no kidding! Im not talking about urinals where you stand and take a piss, im talking about toilets where you squat. No doors, the school management believed doors were too much of an expense and we were "just kids" and deserved no privacy even while taking a shit. Nevertheless, no sane person in their realistic senses would ever go shit there and most of us never did with one or two of those weirdo kids who found these places habitable. We stayed away from those folks all the time, we knew they were of an elite kind. In fact when a kid goes to the toilet we know of what hard bound stuff they are made of and finally they get elected to be School Pupil Leader (SPL) and Assistant SPL. That was our test, the ultimate one that makes you SPL.

To conclude, i would kindly request we relocate all teaching activity in toilets because i think that is the only place where young boys have the utmost concentration and intense dedication when it comes to doing some work. Look at those drawings, breathtaking! I mean, sometimes i used to see women with so many tits, i could not even count them with my poor math skills. Some sex positions were so impossible, if not innovative, they would beat the crap out of kama sutra. I think what we should have is a public addressable system with isolated toilets with walls to separate each kid. This teacher can speak over the mic and deliver the lecture material via the speakers installed in each kuckoose and you will see the artistic potential of each and every kid revealed to the best possible extent.

I also suggest we fire all these useless old blokes and hire chick 18 year olds as teachers (like our french teacher) and ensure that in this way the students behave themselves and look their best and the teacher has the complete attention and control of the class. I think this is the best formula for any boys school. I hope St. Mary’s school is listening.


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The Chronicles of Nara…

Due to excessive pressure and request from Daksha, im posting the image and the story behind these. See this comment here for some background on this. Infact narain endorses these words himself.

????? ????? ??????? ?????????? ???????, bleady dawg :P

Vishwa likes peacock feather’s much, narain says. This is a posed one thats made to looks like its not been posed at all. Natural things are vishwa’s fav.

Thinking of Vishwa, eternal love is special a feeling…. those moments… that voice, those memories….

This is how vishwa hugs you, (kaathal sadu gudu song playing in the background). and your heart goes like mid 80′s ilayaraja movie music background… “than thana than thana than thana than thana than thana hey!”

If you wanna get the feel of how this would feel, then watch the video below…

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A handbook of exceptional quick lies

Yes, exclusively for the Indian family as well. Are you anything post 13 and below 30? Are you Single? Are you the one who happens to have girl friends? Are you the one that happens to be from a conservative tambram, catholic or muslim family? Do you find it painful to find explanations everytime you step out of the house?

Well if you have been answering yes to atleast 2 of the above questions then you are in deep shit?

Does it take impossible amounts of convincing to get your girl friend out of the house and in the last minute she banks out and excuse’s herself "parents won’t allow me to go out in weekends" sort of unbelievable shit!

Well wonder no more. The answers to your prayers are right here. I shall soon come up with a paperback book called "A handbook of exceptional quick lies". 20000 right lies you can fling right out of your pocket and not only get out of your house post 7 PM. Not only that, this WILL get your girl friends out too! Yes, its true and its time tested and it hardly fails.

For example, you plan a night show movie with a gang of friends at work. Living in chennai or any city for that matter you know how hard it is to get evening show or matinee tickets. Now your gal friends wont come out of the home because anything post 7 PM is taboo.

Well here is the deal. Call your girl friends Landline number. As always her dad, the bloody villain will pick up the phone. Now quickly tell her dad "Hello uncle, how are you? I’m fine. I could not reach sheetals mobile so called the land line. Can you take a message?"

At this point of time the curious bastard will be more than happy to know what the hell you are going to tell his beautiful daughter. Now comes your nuke…

"Please ask sheetal to get the Black Mamba Project report for the meeting with Vice president we have tonight at 9 AM PST"

Now her dad is like "What meeting? She never told me?"

"Oh yes uncle, we have a performance review meeting and our team has won the award for the best performance for this quarter. We may probably get a pay hike if we impress the VP in the meeting with our presentation and sheetal has done all the ground work."

Two things. Daughter will probably get a pay hike, daughter may get an award. This sucker will do anything to get his daughter to go to office.

Infact you can also use this opportunity to go pick up your girl friend from her house since it will be late in the night.

Imagine this, 8 pm pick-up from home. Dinner + movie at 10.45 pm and then go clubbing at 3 AM after the movie and back home by 6 am next morning.

The only small downside is you need to wear formal clothes when you start out of the house. That’s okay. We are all used to carrying different set of clothes and changing in the restroom. Women are experts at this and you can take advise from your girl friend.

This is just ONE EXAMPLE, one of the more inefficient ways to get the girl friend out and you out of the house. Imagine how the super efficient ones that are available only when you buy the book, would sound like. Buy my book and you have 19,999 more of this wonderful treasure of knowledge.

So hang tight and watch this space. Arriving in a blog near you….

As for NRI folks, dont worry. Amazon deals are underway to sell atleast 87 million copies in the USA and Europe alone.


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