Reality Bites!

Apparently the latest publicity stunt is recruiting Kapil Dev into the Indian Army. Captain Suresh pinged me on this.

Right after a great party at a club in a happy mood i find this news a bit inspiring and pissing me off at the same time. Kapil Dev wants to serve in the army, wow! Nice read, call it a publicity stunt which it fucking is, its still nice to hear and is inspiring.

On the flip side, we have screwed our soldiers so much in the Sixth Pay Commision. We have treated them so shoddily that we need celebrity stunts to inspire people to serve in the army. I met a friend today evening who works for the hotel industry and he was telling me how Malaysian Tamil's crib about who will change this country for the better and how they feel its an impossible task.

I feel for once he is right. For a country that cannot respect the guys and gals who are waiting for the bullet to their head, india is fucked.

Today is October 2nd. I gladly say "Fuck off" india. i'm tired of your indian'ism.

Everybody's Darling

That's precisely what she is. I don't think i can put it in more simpler terminology than that. I specifically shot this image with the title in mind. Some of her relatives were cherishing her surprise visit for her sisters wedding engagement and there was so much fun.

Raji

Oh well, it seems like some sort of friendship week this week since im posting all portraits of close friends. So here is another master blaster. Raji is Sharada's sister. Ever since Sharada has been to the UK and i have no accomplice for the usual criminal activities i indulge in, to share the guilt, Raji has saved me every other time from falling into the evil hands of goodness and becoming one of those useless, good for nothing nice guys.

Official companion for pointlessly roaming around the city on my bike, official liquor advisor whom i credit with for my heavenly vodka fanaticism, official victim whom i snatch all that calvin and hobbes books from without a zilch of guilt or shame, official complaint cell whom i call amidst her board meeting and crib the hell out when i have a bad day at work or get into unimaginable stuff that cannot be mentioned on flickr since i need to protect my intellectual criminal ideas, etc.,

This image was shot on the day before her wedding engagement when we were having a henna ceremony at home. The look on her face is the brink of the thin red line called patience. She has never kept the henna for anything more than 20 minutes in her life, today she had to keep it for close to four hours.

Hot Air Technology

Sharada can make anyone laugh at anytime, at any given place with so much ease. I consider that sense of humour a fantastic gift and one in a thousand i get to meet have it.  I cannot help but remember some of her crazy jokes while i enjoy the time i spend with her. Here is one to share with you so that you can laugh your but off.

While in training we folks used to play a game of freezing you ass to death, yes literally. Sort of. The back benchers were very close to the central Air Conditioning controls of the training room and often would reduce the temperature of room to 18 or sometimes even 16 or 13 and your bones would literally hurt from the chill air coming off the overhead vent. The trainer finally would find out and ask someone to turn it back on to the more tolerable 23or 25 only to be brought back to 18 when he is not looking.

One fine day, post the lunch break we were back at the training room and we found out the temperature was again set to 18 degree Celsius and this time the damn controls were stuck and broke. While each of us were F'ing around the son of a bitch who turned it down to 18 Sharada came up with an Ingenious technology.

Like a true fighter that takes it on himself with courage and boiling blood, she yelled out "okay, lets all blow hot air into it" and stood up on the chair and started blowing into the overhead A/C vent.

The Story of his Best Friend

The Indian System of Stereo-typing teaches you ridiculous things which sometimes may lead to horrible consequences like missing out some of the most charismatic experiences in life. Fresh out of college, waiting to break the bubble into the BPO industry one young fellow joined a small time call center and was put through the American Accent Training.

Quickly making use of the opportunity the young man made friends with many of the fellows and a few of the women. Then there was this loud girl who wore a pretty decent shirt and a skirt and was well dressed and seemed to be from a rich off background. As fate would have it, the young man was brainwashed that skirts and fashionable formal shirts are worn by rich arrogant bastards and they are just not worth getting to know.

The young man kept his distance and felt safe and happy amidst his custody of normal friends while his batch of colleagues at work were split into two, Batch 35A and batch 35B.
The Young man was safe in A and was trained in the first floor while the rich girl went to B and was trained in the second floor. Ill luck had it that after we graduated our American accent training batch A and B would be merged and they would all be trained together on the product and American culture.

The young mans 14 days of fun came to an end as the batches merged, the young man still kept his distance and felt content with what he had.

One fine evening post work he found his friend Neil talking to this same very arrogant rich girl whom was not to be trusted but ridiculously Neil yells out as the young man tried to slip by "Yo gates" (the young man's American name was Michael Gates) "come over here dog, this is Stacy Colin" and the young man with fear blurted a feeble "hey" and the rich arrogant woman contrary to the expectations happened to respond....

"thaaa chee, kasmaalam. gates'u boot'su... ozhunga peri solli thola da paavi"
English Translation: you useless fellow why the hell call yourself gates and boots... what's the real name you sinner.... (of course in a very very slang accent and the most lo-fi mannerism for a woman on planet earth ever!)

The young man's heart fluttered with joy "this ugly thing croaks from the same stinking swamp that I come from" and before the young man could respond the lady dragged him by the shirt collar and yelled "i'm too hungry and i need something to eat, take me to some stupid food joint". We went out as a gang of 14, i think and we counted the coins in our wallet and brought one Mini Idly at Adayar Sangeetha and shared it amongst ourselves.

Sharada was neither rich, nor arrogant. In fact she really in reality is just a kick ass clown. She can make anyone laugh at any given point in time at any place. She was just as bloody broke a stingy average middle class beggar like most of us Desi's and happens to have a good sense of fashionable dressing.

Ever since ever speck of laughter, every drop of tear, every sprinkle of joy and every dew of depression was shared between the this young man and the woman and she got to be his best friend for life. Time took them apart, he moved Bangalore job hopping, her overtly smart brains got her a 12000 pound Chevening scholarship from the British government and took her to Oxford for her masters.

A few weeks ago one fine, morning the young man got a call from her sisters mobile in the wee hours of the morning while he was fast asleep, something like 9.45 AM. He picked up the phone and he hears a familiar voice yell "dei naan vandhutten daa", yaarunnu recognize panna mudiyaradhaa?" (dude im here, can you recognize who this is?).
Years of distance and mountain loads of fun that was devoid to them resumes for the next 2 weeks while she is here for her sisters engagement.

That is the Story of how Dilip got his best friend Sharada, and where it lies in the present day.

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

I can relate to this feeling of friendship and when truck loads of love is poured on you and the excitement of just being loved knows no bounds. I feel this today. My best friend who now lives in the UK suddenly calls today morning while i was fast asleep. It's a surprise visit for attending her sisters engagement, who again is a killer of a friend.

I see happy times ahead, at east for the next 2 weeks while she is here. There is nothing like having your best friend around. You never get to realize how much of bloody fun you have been missing unless you get a taste of it again.

These guys were sheer fun with Shan during the henna evening. I reserved this picture for later but then i decided i must celebrate the uncontrollable amounts of sheer joy that shoots through my brains today.

Kannagi’s Lust

One man’s lust for money made him move cities,
His wife a deadly puppet moved along with him,
His lust for money hit the brakes, a dancer’s bust and her beautiful shape,
I guess some money and medical help she did take,
Funny though, his wife knew his bitch yet his marriage not at stake.

His bag of love danced in the night, her curves, her ass was so tight,
There came a day when she lost all her might,
She could not do her moves, not one right,
The man could not bear his bitch’s plight,
He decided to save her for another night.

He went to his wife and told her this stuff,
She couldn’t care if she hadn’t heard enough,
She gave him her anklet to feed his lust,
She had in her husband all the trust,
While her husband was sinking in the dancer’s lust.

There lived a king that lusted to be just,
He confused ruby’s and pearls, stirred the hornets’ nest,
He killed the man for he was a thief,
His woman came down with mountains of grief,
She went to the King and proved her husband isn’t a thief.

The luster of justice stopped his beat,
He served his justice; He gave up to breathe,
Our woman just wouldn’t go away,
This little king’s blood would not make her day,
She wanted lives while the devils prayed.

She cooked a city so green and so lean,
She took the lives, what a bloody scene,
That her anger shall be written in stone,
Her massive terrorism shall be known,
Trumpets and Horns shall be blown.

What made one life so special no one knew,
A man with his hands on another woman’s bust,
His wife should still love him, it’s a must,
His death avenged, a city burnt to null,
Lust for violence, she rang the death knell.

Truth about creationism

I now have a valid excuse why I don't believe in creationism. I'm worried about the size of my penis. Look at this bloody image....

Every image of a man reaching out to god, they either have a small dick or in this case, almost no dick at all! I don't care if I go to hell, but as long as im alive im gonna have a normal penis and there is no one getting in between me and my tool. Not even god!

del.icio.us Tags: The Creation,Michaelangelo,image,god,penis,joke,humour,religion,personal

Bad Questions to ask a transsexual.

Awesome Video. I can't relate to this more than now.

It's funny how many of those dumb asses there are really who would really ask such fucked up questions in the first place. I know this personally I get some really fucked up questions all the time. gggawwhh! I wish the world was filled with more smart people who had brains the size of a common ground squirrel and would have the basic moral judgement to know what questions are ok and not ok to ask.

del.icio.us Tags: transsexuals,questions,youtube video,humour,throught,education

Withered

I work at Tidel Park, I live in Velachery. Now the road to Tidel Park via the Tharamani Link Road is kind of Tedious. So folks like me usually take a short cut short after the CSI church on this road and go through a well cemented slum dwelling and reach the Ascendas IT Park Road. This saves about 2 Kilo meters of Travelling distance, fuel and of course most importantly avoid the damn traffic!

I'm a bit off the usual folks (which is not unusual at all) and I take this small road that takes me through a set of speed breaker ridden street that hurts the spine like crazy. Yet, I drive through this road. Why? The reason is obvious, the road is short, cold, winding and has this temple and small houses of slum dwellings and has an absolute village atmosphere amidst the polluted city. Its such a refreshing experience to travel down this road, look at the rituals in the temple as you drive by, have the cows cross the road all the way, goats, dogs, hen, cats, there is just so much to see.

I happened to be driving back home and I had the camera with me and I stopped by to get a few pictures of this temple structure. Its worn out but an active temple on the road side. The fresh paint has been eroded by the summer rains in Chennai. I just love this place, I do.

Canon EOS 400D with the Sigma 24-70MM F/2.8. Aperture Priority, F/4 at 1/320th of a Second.

del.icio.us Tags: religion,street photograhy,daily life,blog,camera,photogrpahy,image,nearby nature,india,info,temple,withered,colours,texture

How to kick your wife's ass as per Allah...

Isn't that cool? Allah gives clear cut instructions on how to beat your wife. What a peace loving god Allah is and what a peace loving religion Islam is. Peace to one and all.

del.icio.us Tags: allah,beating wife,how to beat wife,wife,violence,religious dogma,religion,islam,spouse,domestic violence

When I really don't mind being a monkey...

Need I say more. Like in Tamil they say "vaazhvu than". Sometimes it feels so lame we outgrew being a monkey. Particularly when you see graphically violent images such as these...

Indophile's, a gift from far away...

If you are aware of what Flickr is and if you are an Indian i would highly recommend you observe and learn from Indophile's on Flickr.

Yes, that's a name for a group, actually. A set of people who were born of a foreign origin but then fell in love with India so much that they are pretty much more Indian than most of us Indian's are. To start with go ahead and check out these three people. I admire them to the core...

1. Claude Renault
2. Eli Shams
3. Joel Dousset

All 3 of them have a french origin. All 3 of them have a fantastic Indian photo stream. Of the trio Claude is well known for his compositions and colors and simplicity although Eli or Joel is no lesser an expert. The core to this whole wonderful Indophile' ism is very simple.

Unlike most western journalists or tourists they have an open mind and have no predetermined agenda. They know more about Indian Culture than most Indians know of. Like an Atheist knows more of the Bible and Quran compared to any radical Muslim or fundamental Christian would know. I'm not trying to be racist but facts are facts. Most foreigners who come here (Caucasian in particular) have a preset agenda. Thanks to biased National Geographic/Discovery Channel documentaries and western media outlets showcasing the land of snake charmers/beggars/magicians/Hindu priests a.k.a "India".

Indophile's however are different, they showcase facts without any interpolation. If I were to point out an example of unadulterated and stupendous photo journalism at its best, I would as journalists to watch the streams of people such as Eli, Claude, Joel etc.,

India is much more than the beggars and superstitions that its now renowned for, there is culture and there is civilization. Being an atheist I sometimes find myself contradicting to my beliefs because I'm sometimes a possible Hindu apologist too. Looking through the pictures of Eli's photo stream you can get an excellent idea of Hinduism as a culture preaching peace, non violence and most of all devoid of rubbish such as killing another tribe if you cannot convert them kind of nonsense. Its all in there, you just have to look through the photo stream. Real world sadhu's, not the ones who have air conditioned ashrams where they commute using Benz S Class limo's.

You then have the colors of India, you have the people, their way of life, their values, their aspirations and their happiness with so little they have. Its all made available to you in a plate like hot jamuns when you run through her photo stream.
 
For 16 hours a day workaholics who live in the unfortunate city and count on a monthly paycheck for a living (or rather pay off the bills) traveling is a criminal thought and a luxury that we can afford, perhaps if we hit a lottery. People like Eli, make life easier for Indians like myself to know India better, i think that would sum it up all.

Why Religious Dogma is a problem...

Many people ask me, why am i so blatantly against religion? Why is that im so rude towards people and things that religion is associated with. Calling myself an atheist and making claims that im a better person by thought and actions than the average theist, why am i so filled with hatred against religion and what makes me any different from the religious vandals out there??

The problem is quite simple to explain. Let me draw a comparison. In life all of us like somethings and hate others. For example when i walk into a Consumer Appliance Store and ask for a Samsung LCD TV, it is because of the fact that i know Samsung is the world leader in display systems around the world and they have the best of technology and know how and products when it comes to displays. I have done my research and seen the demos and im convinced samsung fits my idea of a "perfect" LCD display system and hence im hell bent on buying it.

The problem here is if the salesman tries to convince me that Phillips is better then he needs to provide some tangible information for it, even in that case i may not favor it much since my personal research has already made me aware that samsung is good and i cannot really take for granted what the sales man says. I would politely refuse his offer and ask for a samsung again and be firm if he tries to convince more, at best walk out of the store to the next where i can get my samsung.

If only life was this simple with religion. Religion does not offer this option of being with someone else in the absence of faith in it. It claims to be the sole opportunity and the only way to get to someplace imaginary that no one has ever confirmed or reciprocated back with communication. Plus, end number of restrictions on what to do and what not to do when you get there and if you want to get there.

Religion simply is a disgrace to humanity for words like Blasphemy to exist.

Absolute power corrupts, anything or anyone with absolute power for that matter is a problem. Religion always wants you to surrender yourself absolutely to that god that it preaches and promotes without any questioning at all. It is in this perspective that religion fails miserably. No one has absolute authority that he cannot be question at all, including god. The result is for us to see here today. The Bible and Quran (and Gita to a minor extent too) preach open hatred against any disbeliever. The Quran calls for Jihad against them and the Bible punishes them with eternal damnation so that they will burn in hell for eternity. How cruel a thing to do to someone just because they did not believe in you!

Religion takes offense at anything and everything. Whilst as normal human beings when we take offense we avoid that thing or do not wish to associate with that person or thing, say for example prostitution. Religion thinks that it is so exclusive that no one that offends it needs to exist and calls upon the destroyal of that entity which is against nature. In nature, no animal kills another for any need other than food, survival.

This is precisely why i hate religion. I have friends whom i do not agree with on many a things yet we are good friends. This is not possible with religion. Exceptions are there but it can never be a norm for all religion claims its supreme exclusiveness. To me that is simply unnatural and potent a thought process.