Reality Bites!

Apparently the latest publicity stunt is recruiting Kapil Dev into the Indian Army. Captain Suresh pinged me on this.

Right after a great party at a club in a happy mood i find this news a bit inspiring and pissing me off at the same time. Kapil Dev wants to serve in the army, wow! Nice read, call it a publicity stunt which it fucking is, its still nice to hear and is inspiring.

On the flip side, we have screwed our soldiers so much in the Sixth Pay Commision. We have treated them so shoddily that we need celebrity stunts to inspire people to serve in the army. I met a friend today evening who works for the hotel industry and he was telling me how Malaysian Tamil's crib about who will change this country for the better and how they feel its an impossible task.

I feel for once he is right. For a country that cannot respect the guys and gals who are waiting for the bullet to their head, india is fucked.

Today is October 2nd. I gladly say "Fuck off" india. i'm tired of your indian'ism.

Fully Hyd Apologizes

Phew, i'm so damn saved. I'm just so happy i don't have to go to court and the police station again all over and run around like a rat on opium. Fully Hyd's CEO today called and apologized for the usage of the picture.

Contrary to my expectations he was not rude and in fact quite honest and apologetic about what happened. The last thing i wanted 2 days before a melbourne trip was a pending legal issue on my head and im so glad it went through fine.

#5, Sankara Madam St - Preface

There once lived a boy who was born into a lower middle class iyengar family that lived in a lowly place called perambur. He lived in an old house that had a tiled roof, the famous "ottu veedu" of those times in the early 80's. The boy unfortunately had a condition called cerebral palsy which devoid him from walking normally. He did not care, he ran.

Once during a weekend most assumingly the boy carefully tip toed via the gate-less house of his and stood under the cool jasmine creeper. He was shrewd enough not to put his foot back or forward and was devising his plan of edging along the 1 foot wide platform that kissed the dirty 4 foot compound wall. There was sewer all around him and his house had a very small drainage system, which meant the first house to explode and leak sewer into small road in case of a drainage block, would be his.

As he excitedly looked at the ugly masses of human feces and other unknown and unidentified objects. His dad, a usual overtly strict iyengar fellow yelled "peeyila uzhundhu vaaranumnu kanganam kattindu irukka nee!" (you are determined to fall and wrap yourself in crap).

As the young boy moved along the platform his dad caught hold of his hands tightly and yelled again "odaadha" (don't run), suddenly his eyes shifted to the other side of the road where he found another young boy, though much older than himself, devouring a packet of 'biscuit thool', something that he was denied moments ago before he left the house because he was about to visit the doctor. Biscuit thool is nothing but left over crumbles of biscuit, cake and cream in a bakery that is packed and was sold for less than Rs. 2 in those days.

The boy looked at the other kid, his legs were thin like as if the entire life juice had been sucked out of it with a straw, by the Devil. He had polio. The young boy smiled and said "nondi" (lame) and before he could realize "THHWAACK!" came a blow on his head.

Before he could lift his hand to rub his head that hurt if had been smashed with a rock, his dad retorted. "Nee maththrum enna?" (what are you?)

That moment, it dawned upon him, he was different.

Hot Air Technology

Sharada can make anyone laugh at anytime, at any given place with so much ease. I consider that sense of humour a fantastic gift and one in a thousand i get to meet have it.  I cannot help but remember some of her crazy jokes while i enjoy the time i spend with her. Here is one to share with you so that you can laugh your but off.

While in training we folks used to play a game of freezing you ass to death, yes literally. Sort of. The back benchers were very close to the central Air Conditioning controls of the training room and often would reduce the temperature of room to 18 or sometimes even 16 or 13 and your bones would literally hurt from the chill air coming off the overhead vent. The trainer finally would find out and ask someone to turn it back on to the more tolerable 23or 25 only to be brought back to 18 when he is not looking.

One fine day, post the lunch break we were back at the training room and we found out the temperature was again set to 18 degree Celsius and this time the damn controls were stuck and broke. While each of us were F'ing around the son of a bitch who turned it down to 18 Sharada came up with an Ingenious technology.

Like a true fighter that takes it on himself with courage and boiling blood, she yelled out "okay, lets all blow hot air into it" and stood up on the chair and started blowing into the overhead A/C vent.

Meat Stuff...

The following Conversation took place over SMS, 3 minutes ago! I still have not got up ROFL... damn.. sometimes, predictive text kicks ass on mobile phones..

Friend: Hey, remember that boy who came to see me last weekend, i've said yes to him. Just waiting for him to reply.
Me: Oh, Meat Stuff (yikes!)
Me: Neat Stuff, i meant.....

hears a grr at a distant direction, switches of cell phone and hides behind blanket and tries to sleep it off.....

Painless...

2 large vodka's in the head, an enya love song in the ears... small specks of happiness life has to offer, priceless!

This too shall pass...

We all know the value of Indian life is cheap. Once again our terrorist brothers have done a wonderful deed to re-iterate that fact today in Bangalore. Disappointingly though, the death toll did not even cross 100, hang on it was not even 10, oh hell, just 2? Two is all you got this time? Two? Looks like you’re getting a fucked up appraisal this quarter at work, Mr. Terrorist because I’m not impressed and I bet your Pakistani or whatever boss the heck he is, isn’t either.

I can see the future ahead like I’m a fortune teller of fantastic norms. I bet there will be an enquiry commission and I bet there will be a buzz about this for the next 1 week in the news papers and TV and “The Big Debate” is going to be this topic for a few days to come, after which the Indian press will seriously write useful things like how our favorite big bachan’s are doing a great job for just being there for us and how homely aishwarya rai looked in a sari like an Indian girl when she came to open that school named after her.

'I am shocked and strongly condemn this act aimed at creating panic among the public. I appeal to people to maintain calm and peace and the government is with you,'' said Yeddyurappa.

Why do I get the feeling that the Indian Press and Politicians are actually funding terrorists so that they can bomb more places and they can write about this more while ignoring the recent trading of MP’s in our parliament house. I mean, I seriously don’t get it? If you can buy men for a sum of money inside the parliament why can’t we buy women or children on the roads for the same sum of money? I don’t see how different slave trade or flesh trade is from what our parliamentarians are doing inside the parliament. At least in slavery and flesh trade you are fucking around with one person’s life.

As for the 60 year old senior citizen who died in the blast, sorry lady, I really am. You will be forgotten before your corpse burns at the cremation ground. You are weak and the ones who love you are weak and they have no money. If you are not might then you can no way be right, because might is always right in India and I can tell you firsthand about it. I don’t believe in soul’s but I hope your family at the least gets a decent Rs. 1 lakh as government aid and after all bribing around the thasildhar office and what’s left of the few thousands of it allows them to rebuild their broken hut in their slum or send your grandchild to school.

Bad Questions to ask a transsexual.

Awesome Video. I can't relate to this more than now.

It's funny how many of those dumb asses there are really who would really ask such fucked up questions in the first place. I know this personally I get some really fucked up questions all the time. gggawwhh! I wish the world was filled with more smart people who had brains the size of a common ground squirrel and would have the basic moral judgement to know what questions are ok and not ok to ask.

del.icio.us Tags: transsexuals,questions,youtube video,humour,throught,education

When I really don't mind being a monkey...

Need I say more. Like in Tamil they say "vaazhvu than". Sometimes it feels so lame we outgrew being a monkey. Particularly when you see graphically violent images such as these...

Ganesha needs your dollar...

As a foreword let me declare that Im not trying to be argumentative, racist or accusing anyone or any race or any sect of people about anything. Im merely trying to bring out perspectives that may help us all to move ahead in a better fashion for better times.

I recently commented on a Flickr members stream. They had beautiful pictures and one of them was that of Mata Amritanandamayi Devi. I told them that she was not the saint that she seems to be and there are loads of problems with her and that she is a criminal. I ended up with an email response calling me sick and black at heart and being blocked. Nothing unexpected as such, an atheists life is hard trying to prove religious bigots and being called an animal all the time. I'm so used to this by now, i have a thick skin.

This episode made me think of one thing which significantly affects how false saints and religious bigots work out of India and how powerful they become. Its very simple. It all comes out of foreign exchange money. Hence I would like to make a small request to every foreigner who comes to India or wants to come to India.

India is a land of varied spiritualism and a meadow of religions and culture. It is understood from my personal experience and from other available documentation this really fascinates the foreigner or to not sound so politically correct but technically correct, the white man. Just like in the western world you have criminals like Benny Hinn you need to understand that India being a mountain load of spirituality has more of this than you can ever possibly imagine.

The reason why I stress is because your one dollar makes 45 Indian rupees approximately. Your one pound makes 80 Indian rupees approximately. If you give this dollar or this pound to an orphanage and feed the poor, well and good. You qualified yourself to be an extra ordinary human being. However if you give this dollar to a prick who runs schools, colleges, hospitals and other business in the name of spirituality your wonderful heartfelt intentions of helping the poor brown man is just not going to work, in fact it works exactly the other way around.

There are thousands of spiritual things you could do as a theist in India when you come here. My sincere request to you is don’t give money to any charitable institution that runs on the basis of a saintly man or a woman. None of this money reaches the poor man. It goes in to building colleges, schools, engineering colleges, universities, hospitals all for business to make money in the name of spiritualism.

Classic examples are Shirdi Sai Baba, Amma, Kalki and so on. If you drop a dollar into the hundi of a roadside Ganesha temple such as this one, it would at least feed a poor priest who looks after the temple. Think about what I’ve said here, it makes a difference even though I may sound sick a person to many of you for speaking the truth about Amma, Sai Baba and other such underground dons running drug rolls and porn flicks.

Truth is very bitter to swallow, as we all know. Claude Renault has wonderful pictures of Naga Baba, they hardly wear clothes, smoke ganja and meditate and need no money. They are real saints, Amma or Sai Baba who travel in a Mercedes Benz S Class clearly aren't.

Canon EOS 400D with the Canon EF 50MM F/1.8 II. Aperture Priority, F/8 at 1/100th of a Second.