The Story of his Best Friend

The Indian System of Stereo-typing teaches you ridiculous things which sometimes may lead to horrible consequences like missing out some of the most charismatic experiences in life. Fresh out of college, waiting to break the bubble into the BPO industry one young fellow joined a small time call center and was put through the American Accent Training.

Quickly making use of the opportunity the young man made friends with many of the fellows and a few of the women. Then there was this loud girl who wore a pretty decent shirt and a skirt and was well dressed and seemed to be from a rich off background. As fate would have it, the young man was brainwashed that skirts and fashionable formal shirts are worn by rich arrogant bastards and they are just not worth getting to know.

The young man kept his distance and felt safe and happy amidst his custody of normal friends while his batch of colleagues at work were split into two, Batch 35A and batch 35B.
The Young man was safe in A and was trained in the first floor while the rich girl went to B and was trained in the second floor. Ill luck had it that after we graduated our American accent training batch A and B would be merged and they would all be trained together on the product and American culture.

The young mans 14 days of fun came to an end as the batches merged, the young man still kept his distance and felt content with what he had.

One fine evening post work he found his friend Neil talking to this same very arrogant rich girl whom was not to be trusted but ridiculously Neil yells out as the young man tried to slip by "Yo gates" (the young man's American name was Michael Gates) "come over here dog, this is Stacy Colin" and the young man with fear blurted a feeble "hey" and the rich arrogant woman contrary to the expectations happened to respond....

"thaaa chee, kasmaalam. gates'u boot'su... ozhunga peri solli thola da paavi"
English Translation: you useless fellow why the hell call yourself gates and boots... what's the real name you sinner.... (of course in a very very slang accent and the most lo-fi mannerism for a woman on planet earth ever!)

The young man's heart fluttered with joy "this ugly thing croaks from the same stinking swamp that I come from" and before the young man could respond the lady dragged him by the shirt collar and yelled "i'm too hungry and i need something to eat, take me to some stupid food joint". We went out as a gang of 14, i think and we counted the coins in our wallet and brought one Mini Idly at Adayar Sangeetha and shared it amongst ourselves.

Sharada was neither rich, nor arrogant. In fact she really in reality is just a kick ass clown. She can make anyone laugh at any given point in time at any place. She was just as bloody broke a stingy average middle class beggar like most of us Desi's and happens to have a good sense of fashionable dressing.

Ever since ever speck of laughter, every drop of tear, every sprinkle of joy and every dew of depression was shared between the this young man and the woman and she got to be his best friend for life. Time took them apart, he moved Bangalore job hopping, her overtly smart brains got her a 12000 pound Chevening scholarship from the British government and took her to Oxford for her masters.

A few weeks ago one fine, morning the young man got a call from her sisters mobile in the wee hours of the morning while he was fast asleep, something like 9.45 AM. He picked up the phone and he hears a familiar voice yell "dei naan vandhutten daa", yaarunnu recognize panna mudiyaradhaa?" (dude im here, can you recognize who this is?).
Years of distance and mountain loads of fun that was devoid to them resumes for the next 2 weeks while she is here for her sisters engagement.

That is the Story of how Dilip got his best friend Sharada, and where it lies in the present day.

Words of Wisdom - #1

Dilip says "the day nobody honks like they're cumming at the speed of light when the traffic signal counts under 12 for green, that day india is civilized."

Evidence for Evolution

Given below are three simple video that provide a very basic idea as to how evolution predicts life forms came up to live like the way they do today.

Part - I

Part II

Part - III

It gives a beautiful picture as to how evolution works and how simple life is.

del.icio.us Tags: evolutio,science,video,youtube,education,theory of evolution

How to kick your wife's ass as per Allah...

Isn't that cool? Allah gives clear cut instructions on how to beat your wife. What a peace loving god Allah is and what a peace loving religion Islam is. Peace to one and all.

del.icio.us Tags: allah,beating wife,how to beat wife,wife,violence,religious dogma,religion,islam,spouse,domestic violence

Indophile's, a gift from far away...

If you are aware of what Flickr is and if you are an Indian i would highly recommend you observe and learn from Indophile's on Flickr.

Yes, that's a name for a group, actually. A set of people who were born of a foreign origin but then fell in love with India so much that they are pretty much more Indian than most of us Indian's are. To start with go ahead and check out these three people. I admire them to the core...

1. Claude Renault
2. Eli Shams
3. Joel Dousset

All 3 of them have a french origin. All 3 of them have a fantastic Indian photo stream. Of the trio Claude is well known for his compositions and colors and simplicity although Eli or Joel is no lesser an expert. The core to this whole wonderful Indophile' ism is very simple.

Unlike most western journalists or tourists they have an open mind and have no predetermined agenda. They know more about Indian Culture than most Indians know of. Like an Atheist knows more of the Bible and Quran compared to any radical Muslim or fundamental Christian would know. I'm not trying to be racist but facts are facts. Most foreigners who come here (Caucasian in particular) have a preset agenda. Thanks to biased National Geographic/Discovery Channel documentaries and western media outlets showcasing the land of snake charmers/beggars/magicians/Hindu priests a.k.a "India".

Indophile's however are different, they showcase facts without any interpolation. If I were to point out an example of unadulterated and stupendous photo journalism at its best, I would as journalists to watch the streams of people such as Eli, Claude, Joel etc.,

India is much more than the beggars and superstitions that its now renowned for, there is culture and there is civilization. Being an atheist I sometimes find myself contradicting to my beliefs because I'm sometimes a possible Hindu apologist too. Looking through the pictures of Eli's photo stream you can get an excellent idea of Hinduism as a culture preaching peace, non violence and most of all devoid of rubbish such as killing another tribe if you cannot convert them kind of nonsense. Its all in there, you just have to look through the photo stream. Real world sadhu's, not the ones who have air conditioned ashrams where they commute using Benz S Class limo's.

You then have the colors of India, you have the people, their way of life, their values, their aspirations and their happiness with so little they have. Its all made available to you in a plate like hot jamuns when you run through her photo stream.
 
For 16 hours a day workaholics who live in the unfortunate city and count on a monthly paycheck for a living (or rather pay off the bills) traveling is a criminal thought and a luxury that we can afford, perhaps if we hit a lottery. People like Eli, make life easier for Indians like myself to know India better, i think that would sum it up all.

Jesus is now a Brahman?

I recently came across this webpage that was created for purposes of evangelization. Quite a nice presentation on how great the god of Christ is and how his love will save the world. In technical terms this webpage is a fantastic collection of not so very accurate but a very complete collection of Hindu Gods and Goddesses. I cannot deny the fact that they have taken the efforts to put together this long list of gods. Born in a Hindu family it's quite difficult a task frankly and they have done a good job. However the funniest thing is that they have explained the Hindu Gods in such great precise detail it looks like a documentation of Hindu Deities. Nevertheless there are some cheap statements the website pulls of which i would like to address here.

After explaining in detail the concept of everything being a divine being in Hinduism unlike the monolithic Christian religion which sings the praise of a Christ they feel it is their responsibility to take a dig at Hinduism by saying things like "these gods are not God, they can not make stars, nor roses, nor human hearts..."

I'm actually impressed. So does that mean that Jesus Christ could make stars, Grow Roses and also fix human hearts? It looks like i can fire all the astronomers in NASA since Jesus can take care of the stars and celestial bodies. I could fire my gardener since Jesus can grow roses. I could also nuke all the Heart Surgeons in town and be done with it because Jesus could not fix hearts too.

However the humble reality is that you would end up paying the price of gold for a rose, have no clue about what's around the planet and which asteroid heads our way or have all of our senior citizens with heart ailments bite the dust.

Then the text goes on to describe Vishnu as...

Vishnu, is the savior and protector of mankind, he incarnates, like Jesus, but 10 times!... the last one, as "Kalkin", is still to come. He is very popular, and shown as one of his 9 incarnations ("avatars"), as fish, tortoise, a boar... the last 3 were Rama, Krishna, and Buddha, who are very popular, most specially Krishna for Hinduism...

I have some problems with this statement. The number of times Vishnu reincarnates is not a specific number in Hinduism. Secondly the Christian illiterate who wrote this page needs to know Vishnu does not die like Jesus Christ but he takes several forms as per the requirement to relieve human kind of evil forces. For example in the "Narasimha Avataram" he takes the form of half man and half lion and represents a very beastly and ferocious form. This is because his purpose of killing Hiranyakasipu needs to be fulfilled. Hiranyakasipu cannot be killed by a man or a beast, so the half man and half beastly form.

Having said that being an atheist i care not if Jesus does or Vishnu dies, neither of them are real and are fairy tales of prehistoric men who wrote all this stuff while smoking grass.

It does not stop here. The guy says the last one is "kalkin", excuse me but is not that supposed to be "Kalki"? I find it really funny because he talks like an expert and know all of Hinduism but cannot even spell a 5 letter work right! How difficult could it be spelling Kalki, never mind.

The Final section of the page goes to say the following...

Rama and Krishna never existed, like Hamlet or Holmes, never existed and they do not exist right now, they existed only in the imagination of the novelist. Jesus Christ is God, a person live right now... he is real, he can clean all our bad karma, forgive all our sins... he is the real Brahman made flesh who died on a Cross with love, to pay for all our sins, to clean all our bad karma, and resurrected to give us a new glorious life on Earth, and an eternal life in Heaven, as the "person" we are, and without the need of any reincarnation... and it is free, just believe in Jesus!... He is at your side right now!... Christianity

Advertising just could not get better could it? Rama and Krishna never existed? Maybe yes, they never did just like Jesus Christ did not exist. Little does our author realize that there is not just evidence for Krishna and Rama to have existed but there is no evidence for any religious entity to have existed in the history of the human race. Probably the only proof of god to have existed is Buddha and Lord Mahavira, if at all you could call man turned divines as god. There is no proof for Mohammed or Allah to have existed.

Technically speaking there is one point that could prove enough that a person by the name of Jesus Christ, the lord or the so called saviour of mankind never existed. There was a great Philosopher named "Philo" who lived during the times of Jesus Christ. He lived from around 20 BC to 50 AD approximately and documented most of the things that happened during those times. Being the expert and the genius of an identity that he was he should have mentioned in at least one of his many hundreds of literature that he wrote about the great son of god Jesus Christ. Guess what? He did not write a thing about Jesus or his Christ. Considering the fact that Jesus was a ultra famous personality who was known amongst every one and Phylio and Jesus, both of them lived in Jerusalem its astonishing a fact. Out of the hundreds of odd miracles of Jesus Christ performed its funny that Phylio did not even document one to state that he knows someone or someone by name Jesus Christ existed during his times.

Forget Phylio, let's consider he was a retarded fellow who supported the Jews and wanted to mess with the history of Jesus and hence smoked all the information during the resurrection of Jesus Christ. But then we have a particular astronomical event that would have attracted the attention of anyone interested in the "heavens."

According to Luke 23:44-45, there occurred "about the sixth hour, and there was darkness over all the earth until the ninth hour, and the sun was darkened, and the veil of the temple was rent in the midst." Yet not a single mention of such a three hour ecliptic event got recorded by anyone, including the astronomers and astrologers, anywhere in the world, including Pliny the Elder and Seneca the Younger who both recorded eclipses from other dates. Note also that, for obvious reasons, eclipses can't occur during a full moon (Passovers always occur during full moons), Nor does a single contemporary person write about the earthquake described in Matthew 27:51-54 where the earth shook, rocks ripped apart (rent), and graves opened.

Its funny the Christian missionaries are happily badmouthing every other religion when their stories and accounts are a classic example of embarrassment in the first place.

How to grow a dick!

Its true, some men need to know this. Especially there is one at my workplace that really does not have a dick. Trying to spread my blog to all Christians at work and make me look like a Anti Christian communal freak, it is just not freaking working isn't it?

Yes, go on read. Its about you. I know that you are reading it you loser, read on.

Firstly get some brains up your head, i mean incompetence is not something permanent. However for people who gave up on learning it is a big issue. Maybe sometime around you may really want to know how things work with the work you do at work. (If at all you do any work apart from downloading crap and playing games) Technology is a great thing, it gives us all our pay check, including yours although you know shit about it. Unlike your rich ass who can have access to a variety of things at your snap of the finger people here worked real hard in life to get to where they are. If you don't want to improve i suggest you quit and stop being a problem to yourself and everyone around you. It saves a lot of trouble.

Secondly don't dig my nose. You got better things to do. Just like you have your friends or so called spies who tell you other peoples personal stuff i have friends who tell me your personal stuff too. Its not a one way traffic and you need to understand it. If i start talking about your personal life things are gonna get really haywire and you would look like a moron. I'm not doing that because i cannot get that downright dirty and indecent as you can get with me and other people here at work.

Thirdly, mind your own business. Do your work, you are paid to do it. You are not an investigator who is here to analyse who is effective and ineffective at work. If i start doing that to you, you may well be walking out the door in no time.

Fourthly, learn about competition. Its always there in any work environment. A healthy competition is necessary, if you cannot compete professionally don't get personal and try pull people down with their personal lives. Its like the indian crab story. Dont be so cheap.

Fifthly, (i hate to say this part) you have no clue about my personal life. Some of my closest friends are christians. I grew up in an anglo indian part of the city and all of my child hood friends were anglo indians and even today many of them are. Sure a sunni muslim can't be an Anglo Indian, so they sure are Christians. My personal beliefs against conversion are PERSONAL to me and nothing to do with you. I'm against ILLEGAL and UNETHICAL conversions, not against conversion on the whole. Stop spreading rumours and creating an illusion. I was taught by Anglo Indian teachers in an Anglo Indian school. I was a bible scholar in my school days and i have a leather bound bible with pages written in silver gifted by my school principal who was a priest. I sang for the St. Lourdes church choir as a main voice for 11 years and i have more love and background for Christianity than what your feeble brain that has lesser common sense than that of a garden squirrel has. I don't claim to know all about Christianity, but im sure not blabbering my way to garbage. What i write is from my personal experience and its none of your business.

Sixthly, thanks for spreading my blog around the work place giving me the unnecessary lime light and publicity but i say "thanks but no thanks". I don't hire cheap asses like you for my PR campaign. I have enough friends reading my blog who discuss and share their views on my take on subjects i blog so keep you precious time to fixing your personal life and not trying to mess with mine.

On the whole im simply saying "Grow a dick and fuck off", thats precisely your problem. Had you had a few inches under your pants your personal life would not be such a mess that you are jobless and desperate enough to mess with my professional life using extracts of my personal life.

Great, now that you would have read this and so your friends whom you have spread this blog to i hope people get a clear picture of what the truth is and what i stand for. Hopefully you may change (not that you have in the years you have been around) or if you don't at least you would stop picking on me.

A final word of wisdom for you, never mistake patience for weakness. The British did Gandhi and they did not get anywhere with it. I hope you get the point, loser!